I have been dating a girl for 6 months (long distance, we saw each other a few days a month), and we recently broke up. We were having protected vaginal sex, and unprotected anal sex. About a month ago, we decided to get engaged, and we started having unprotected vaginal sex, hoping to get pregnant. If I had to guess, I would say I have had unprotected sex with her at least 25 to 30 times. I have not experienced any sort of symptoms of HIV, or any other STD since I started sleeping with her.
I recently saw her e-mails and found out that, in 2005 - 2007, she had been soliciting sex on the internet. So she was responding to ads, and placing ads, to meet up with men, women, and couples to engage in sex. What I saw her writing was absolutely disgusting - the kind of thing that you find on the porn websites that most people don't even bother looking at because it is sickening and degrading. I have no conclusive proof that she was actually meeting up with these people, but it was going on for so long that I have to assume it happened at least occasionally. As well, this is only what I saw in these e-mails - it is likely safe to assume she was engaging men and women in person, at clubs, etc. I also have reason to believe she was using cocaine at the time, although no reason to believe she was using needles.
Based on what I saw, it appears as though this behavior stopped in 2007. I am confident that I would have found some sort of evidence if it was still occurring, although I can't be 100% sure.
I asked her if she had been tested for HIV, and she said she had been 6 months prior to meeting me, when she went on birth control. I have since found out she has lied about numerous things, so I don't have confidence in the fact that she actually got tested.
My question is - would she have experienced the symptoms of HIV / AIDS in the last 4 - 6 years? She was not exhibiting any of the early symptoms, or symptoms at all. She was always very healthy, not fatigued, no rapid weight loss, etc. When I was with her, I did not find any sort of medication that would indicate she had a disease. I was also recently with her for 3 weeks straight, 24/7, and I am confident she was not taking any sort of medication without me knowing.
I am planning to get tested, just to be sure. I guess I'm trying to lower my anxiety level by getting some input on whether or not she would exhibit symptoms since she was doing these things. Of course, I also don't know what she may have been doing behind my back while we were dating, but again, I have no reason to believe she was sleeping with other people.
P.S. - I wanted to add that I don't condone invading someone's privacy like I did when I went through her emails. But I trusted my gut instinct, and I'm certainly glad I did. For those that may be interested, since it's somewhat of a crazy story, I asked her for the truth, and she denied it - even in the face of indisputable evidence. That is ultimately why we broke up - trust.
Hiya, sorry to here about your situation. If somone had HIV you would never tell by looking at the person. Also many people have HIV and have no idea about their status.
The only advice i can offer, which you are already planning of doing is take tests for HIV and Std,s. Their is no point speculating when factual tests will be conclusive.
To ease the worry and wait you could take an "instant" HIV test whhich will give you results while you wait. I really belive they are a god send for easeing any worry.
Fingers crossed for you buddy.
“Morality is only moral when it is voluntary.”
"Being defeated is only a temporary condition; giving up is what makes it permanent".
Your HIV status cannot be guessed at online. Nor can your former girlfriends whose private emails you have read, without her consent. You being appalled and disgusted by somebody else’s private emails go no further in assessing yours or hers HIV status. Nor is an HIV status gauged by you thinking your former girlfriend was in perfect health. Many people who have HIV are completely unaware they have it and show no physical symptoms for many years.
Have an HIV test if you are concerned.
Last edited by blokecalledkev; 07-28-2011 at 01:13 AM.