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Old 08-07-2011, 11:27 AM   #1
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Please help me

I feel like I am losing my mind, Please help me assess my risk,

9 days ago I had unprotected sexual encounters with a man I had just met, I know, very stupid, I feel nothing but shame and complete embarassment now.

I was incredibly drunk and very stupid, I am 20 he says he is 33.

Basically, we were kissing alot, and on 3 different occasions he attempted to push his erect penis into my vagina, I am/was a virgin till him, so it hurt alot and was not very successful. He didn't get it in on the 3 attempts, but because I was very aroused (but drunk) I think he got in more than I thought. He didn't ejaculate in me, he did that everywhere else, but I am worried about his pre-***. He also tried to make me give him oral sex but after about 10 seconds of trying I withdrew

Since the encounter, I have had non-stop diarheaa, fatigue and constant urination. I was experiencing constant hot flushes to the point where at times I felt like I was on fire but as I have upped my water intake this has reduced. Now, my throat is incredibly sore and I am finding it hard to swallow, the back of my tongue has a white coating and my diarheaa has gotten darker I have even noticed rashes on my cheeks. I am a nervous wreck and I have lost my appetite completely, I know this was a stupid mistake of mine but I don't know what to do, please please help

 
Old 08-07-2011, 02:16 PM   #2
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Re: Please help me

Please calm down. What you have described does not constitute a risk of an HIV infection. The three brief attempts to enter you would not be considered a risk with or without precum. Studies have shown that precum posses no risk of an HIV infection. Neither kissing nor your very brief oral sex would be considered a risk.

The symptoms you have described do not in anyway resemble the symptoms of a primary HIV infection, which if they happen at all, happen 2 to 4 weeks after being infected.

On top of this you don't even know that he actually had HIV, which in all probability he didn't.

Please relax; HIV from this is not an issue for you. I do appreciate how upsetting this is for you. What appears to be your first sexual encounter as brought to an HIV forum, afraid and concerned for your health but please do try not to worry too much about catching HIV from this encounter. To have no worries about HIV in the future, please remember the golden rule; never have unprotected sex with anybody unless you are absolutely certain of their HIV status, always condom up.

Kevin.

Last edited by blokecalledkev; 08-07-2011 at 03:12 PM.

 
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Old 08-07-2011, 05:46 PM   #3
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Re: Please help me

Quote:
Originally Posted by foolishmistake View Post
I feel like I am losing my mind, Please help me assess my risk,

9 days ago I had unprotected sexual encounters with a man I had just met, I know, very stupid, I feel nothing but shame and complete embarassment now.

I was incredibly drunk and very stupid, I am 20 he says he is 33.

Basically, we were kissing alot, and on 3 different occasions he attempted to push his erect penis into my vagina, I am/was a virgin till him, so it hurt alot and was not very successful. He didn't get it in on the 3 attempts, but because I was very aroused (but drunk) I think he got in more than I thought. He didn't ejaculate in me, he did that everywhere else, but I am worried about his pre-***. He also tried to make me give him oral sex but after about 10 seconds of trying I withdrew

Since the encounter, I have had non-stop diarheaa, fatigue and constant urination. I was experiencing constant hot flushes to the point where at times I felt like I was on fire but as I have upped my water intake this has reduced. Now, my throat is incredibly sore and I am finding it hard to swallow, the back of my tongue has a white coating and my diarheaa has gotten darker I have even noticed rashes on my cheeks. I am a nervous wreck and I have lost my appetite completely, I know this was a stupid mistake of mine but I don't know what to do, please please help
Hunny, I just want to tell you that the same exact thing happened to me three years ago with a man I knew and was a good friend of a mutual friend and we started off making out and then all of the sudden it was sex... I didn't even really know it was happening at first, and I was very drunk as well. There was no ejaculation in my scenario either, but after realizing that I believe I have caught herpes from this encounter (and was just diagnosed three weeks ago) I because paranoid about what else could have happened and finally decided to test for HIV.
Like you, I am sure I will be HIV negative, but I think getting the test will bring closure to me after dealing with this for the past three years.
I saw a therapist regarding this, too, back when it happened, and my therapist even recommended at the time that I seek legal counseling because what happened to both you and I is considered RAPE... as women who are that drunk are not able to consent to sex...
So my point is...please do not feel guilty or wrong about what happened. This is not your fault, but I don't want you to live with guilt over all of this. And maybe an STD panel would be good just simply to give you peace of mind...like what it's doing for me. Now I can't say for sure that this is how I got herpes, but I do know that I wish I had tested for it back then instead of now, because if I did get it from him then I have likely now passed it along to my current bf...and we both know that I was a victim of what happened to me so we do not play the blame game... I'm just saying all this because for me, I am still seeing these repercussions of what happened to me haunting me three years later, and this does not have to be you!
I am truly sorry for what happened to you and completely understand how you feel. Feel free to chat if you ever would like to. I'm here for you and think you will feel much better once you have proof of a clean slate healthwise.

Last edited by Alyssa946; 08-07-2011 at 05:46 PM.

 
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Old 08-08-2011, 01:05 AM   #4
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Re: Please help me

Quote:
Originally Posted by blokecalledkev View Post
Please calm down. What you have described does not constitute a risk of an HIV infection. The three brief attempts to enter you would not be considered a risk with or without precum. Studies have shown that precum posses no risk of an HIV infection. Neither kissing nor your very brief oral sex would be considered a risk.

The symptoms you have described do not in anyway resemble the symptoms of a primary HIV infection, which if they happen at all, happen 2 to 4 weeks after being infected.

On top of this you don't even know that he actually had HIV, which in all probability he didn't.

Please relax; HIV from this is not an issue for you. I do appreciate how upsetting this is for you. What appears to be your first sexual encounter as brought to an HIV forum, afraid and concerned for your health but please do try not to worry too much about catching HIV from this encounter. To have no worries about HIV in the future, please remember the golden rule; never have unprotected sex with anybody unless you are absolutely certain of their HIV status, always condom up.

Kevin.
Reading this has actually slowed down my heart rate, Thank you!

I want to believe everything you said, please forgive me I am not doubting you but I may be one of the unlucky ones
The symptoms I have had are like no other, two days ago I was soo hot that I had to go to A&E who said I was severely dehydrated and put me on a drip because everytime I stood up I felt like I was about to faint. I have never experienced all these symptoms at once.

I texted this guy out of frustration yesterday and he told me that he too went to hospital but due to 'pain from a tooth extraction' from a year ago, and was given antibiotics, I don't believe him. If anything this information has made me more worried about his state, I texted him back to say that I too have been unusually very ill and I have no idea why, and he has not texted me back. Thus enhancing my worry, I am so scared that he may have given me HIV and I now have to wait till November it seems for an accurate test

 
Old 08-08-2011, 01:19 AM   #5
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Re: Please help me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alyssa946 View Post
Hunny, I just want to tell you that the same exact thing happened to me three years ago with a man I knew and was a good friend of a mutual friend and we started off making out and then all of the sudden it was sex... I didn't even really know it was happening at first, and I was very drunk as well. There was no ejaculation in my scenario either, but after realizing that I believe I have caught herpes from this encounter (and was just diagnosed three weeks ago) I because paranoid about what else could have happened and finally decided to test for HIV.
Like you, I am sure I will be HIV negative, but I think getting the test will bring closure to me after dealing with this for the past three years.
I saw a therapist regarding this, too, back when it happened, and my therapist even recommended at the time that I seek legal counseling because what happened to both you and I is considered RAPE... as women who are that drunk are not able to consent to sex...
So my point is...please do not feel guilty or wrong about what happened. This is not your fault, but I don't want you to live with guilt over all of this. And maybe an STD panel would be good just simply to give you peace of mind...like what it's doing for me. Now I can't say for sure that this is how I got herpes, but I do know that I wish I had tested for it back then instead of now, because if I did get it from him then I have likely now passed it along to my current bf...and we both know that I was a victim of what happened to me so we do not play the blame game... I'm just saying all this because for me, I am still seeing these repercussions of what happened to me haunting me three years later, and this does not have to be you!
I am truly sorry for what happened to you and completely understand how you feel. Feel free to chat if you ever would like to. I'm here for you and think you will feel much better once you have proof of a clean slate healthwise.
Firstly, thank you so much for your reply and understanding, I am in a bad place right now and I dont think I can tell anyone what I am going through. I would definitely love to chat, as I am can see my sanity slowly slipping away I dont know whether to cry or not.

I am going to have my STI and STD test again next week, as I already had one, but with the very short window period it is inaccurate.

I feel physically ill and every time I think about it my body heats up and my heart beat accelerates. I am so worried that I have a long wait to go and my biggest fear is whether the symptoms are just going to keep coming and/or whether they are going to get worse.

I have no appetite, the thought of eating makes me feel worse and anytime I eat something I feel nauseous. I can't even think straight, but your message has been very supportive,

I wish you all the best with your HIV test, I'm confident for you it will be okay! You and Kevin are lovely people

 
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Old 08-08-2011, 01:42 AM   #6
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Re: Please help me

Quote:
Originally Posted by foolishmistake View Post
Reading this has actually slowed down my heart rate, Thank you!

I want to believe everything you said, please forgive me I am not doubting you but I may be one of the unlucky ones
The symptoms I have had are like no other, two days ago I was soo hot that I had to go to A&E who said I was severely dehydrated and put me on a drip because everytime I stood up I felt like I was about to faint. I have never experienced all these symptoms at once.

I texted this guy out of frustration yesterday and he told me that he too went to hospital but due to 'pain from a tooth extraction' from a year ago, and was given antibiotics, I don't believe him. If anything this information has made me more worried about his state, I texted him back to say that I too have been unusually very ill and I have no idea why, and he has not texted me back. Thus enhancing my worry, I am so scared that he may have given me HIV and I now have to wait till November it seems for an accurate test
Hi there,

Most everybody that comes to HIV forums believes they have symptoms of an HIV infection. In the last five years I have been on this forum (and others) I have only ever seen one person report they have tested out positive, after a very high risk, which yours wasn't. Most everybody thinks they are the unlucky one, most all are not correct. Symptom chasing where HIV is concerned is a no-no. It really serves no purpose other than to heighten anxiety and stress, which in turn can bring about more physical symptoms. Please don’t get me wrong I don’t doubt for one moment that you have physical symptoms, based on what you have posted they are not HIV related.

Despite the fear that HIV generates it is extremely difficult to transmit from person to another, even under ideal conditions. The scenario you have posted does not fore fill these conditions. Pleased be assured that false hope is not offered on HIV forums, if I or any member here through for one moment you was at risk, it would be stated, categorically and unequivocally. You were not at risk and I would not post this unless I was certain of what I was saying.

You do not have to wait three months, if you want peace of mind you can test out four weeks after this episode. Almost all HIV infections are detected between 2 to 6 weeks. In the UK they now do 4th Generation duo tests which are extremely accurate and have a record that is second to none at early detection. I would advise you to get checked out, your results, which will almost certainly be negative, will put your mind at rest. A negative result at four weeks will rule out HIV and prove beyond any shadow of a doubt that your symptoms are not HIV related, if they are you will test positive (which you won’t).

Please relax, liaise with a doctor and try to take steps to get this issue resolved and put it behind you.

Kevin.

Last edited by blokecalledkev; 08-08-2011 at 05:19 AM.

 
Old 08-08-2011, 02:03 AM   #7
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Re: Please help me

Quote:
Originally Posted by blokecalledkev View Post
Hi there,

Everybody that comes to HIV forums believes they have symptoms of an HIV infection. In the last five years I have been on this forum (and others) I have only ever seen one person report they have tested out positive, after a very high risk, which yours wasn't. Most everybody thinks they are the unlucky one, most all are not correct. Symptom chasing where HIV is concerned is a no-no. It really serves no purpose other than to heighten anxiety and stress, which in turn can bring about more physical symptoms. Please donít get me wrong I donít doubt for one moment that you have physical symptoms, based on what you have posted they are not HIV related.

Despite the fear that HIV generates it is extremely difficult to transmit from person to another, even under ideal conditions. The scenario you have posted does not fore fill these conditions. Pleased be assured that false hope is not offered on HIV forums, if I or any member here through for one moment you was at risk, it would be stated, categorically and unequivocally. You were not at risk and I would not post this unless I was certain of what I was saying.

You do not have to wait three months, if you want peace of mind you can test out four weeks after this episode. Almost all HIV infections are detected between 2 to 6 weeks. In the UK they now do 4th Generation duo tests which are extremely accurate and have a record that is second to none at early detection. I would advise you to get checked out, your results, which will almost certainly be negative, will put your mind at rest. A negative result at four weeks will rule out HIV and prove beyond any shadow of a doubt that your symptoms are not HIV related, if they are you will test positive (which you wonít).

Please relax, liaise with a doctor and try to take steps to get this issue resolved and put it behind you.

Kevin.
Thank you so much Kevin, for your patience and understanding, you're a star!

I really do hope so, in the meantime I will try and control the waves of anxiety that I have been having as I can feel my body getting weaker by the minute.

I will take the HIV rapid test again then in 3 more weeks and I hope I dont test positive. In the meantime I will try and monitor the symptoms I am having now and stop diagnosing them on the internet...

One question that I have though, is if he has Aids and not HIV would that not have heightened my risk? his behaviour is making me more suspicious

 
Old 08-08-2011, 02:14 AM   #8
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Re: Please help me

If and thats a BIG IF, if he had "Aids" then he would most likley be on medication for it. If that "were" the case, then the risk would be lowered..

If he has HIV ( again very unlikley) your very short exposure would put at very low risk. Also the figures on exposures with a HIV person are 1-1000 for vaginal sex. So put this all togther and really i would expect a negative result. So please dont stress about this, because i dont think you have a lot to worry about
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Old 08-08-2011, 02:47 AM   #9
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Re: Please help me

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If and thats a BIG IF, if he had "Aids" then he would most likley be on medication for it. If that "were" the case, then the risk would be lowered..

If he has HIV ( again very unlikley) your very short exposure would put at very low risk. Also the figures on exposures with a HIV person are 1-1000 for vaginal sex. So put this all togther and really i would expect a negative result. So please dont stress about this, because i dont think you have a lot to worry about
Thank you for your reply and information,

I do hope that this is the case, worrying myself here beyond belief,

 
Old 08-08-2011, 03:16 AM   #10
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Re: Please help me

We have all been in your shoes, so belive us when we say we know how you feel and thats why its better to focus on more positive ( no pun intended ) things in your life
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Old 08-08-2011, 03:24 AM   #11
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Re: Please help me

Quote:
Originally Posted by foolishmistake View Post
Thank you so much Kevin, for your patience and understanding, you're a star!

I really do hope so, in the meantime I will try and control the waves of anxiety that I have been having as I can feel my body getting weaker by the minute.

I will take the HIV rapid test again then in 3 more weeks and I hope I dont test positive. In the meantime I will try and monitor the symptoms I am having now and stop diagnosing them on the internet...

One question that I have though, is if he has Aids and not HIV would that not have heightened my risk? his behaviour is making me more suspicious

If he had AIDs, as Apollo rightly points out, he would be on medication and /or be very ill. For him to have AIDs he would know he was infected with HIV, he would have been diagnosed with it. For anybody to have diagnosed with HIV/AIDs and knowingly infect another person would be against the law, it is a criminal offense. I assure you it is extremely unlikely he had AIDs and would allow himself or you for that matter to be put at risk. It is very, very, unlikely he had AIDs. Please, at this point, donít allow your mind to run away with itself, as it stands you have had the briefest of brief encounters with somebody who in all probability did not have HIV.

While you wait this out to be tested do yourself a massive favour, donít keep looking at HIV symptoms online, quit the self examinations, please stop playing out worst case scenarios and stop putting everything thing that happens to you down to HIV. It is extremely unlikely you have been infected.

Kevin

 
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Old 08-08-2011, 04:12 AM   #12
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Re: Please help me

It is amazing what anxiety and stress can do to the mind AND body, and the more you worry about having HIV, the more "symptoms" you will notice within yourself. But honestly, with that kind of close contact with another person there are a great many illnesses you could catch one simply being the common cold. :-) Basically...if your symptoms are physical and not mental (which I think they are probably mental, which is normal considering what you've been through), then it is probably something very minor, and could have been picked up by you because your high stress lowered your immunity and made you more vulnerable to getting sick right now.

Maybe he's not getting back to you with a reply about your being sick because he feels you are hinting that he gave something to you and is angry in being accused... if this is so, however, then it only makes him more of a jerk because he should be more helpful and concerned with making sure you are ok and happy then with just being concerned about himself. Maybe he's afraid you'll hurt his "reputation" if rumors got spread that you were sick after sexual encounters with him... who knows?

BUT, I do not think anyone who knew that had HIV would sleep with someone else and pose the risk of spreading it to them due to carelessness... unless it was some very deranged sociopath of some sort, and I doubt this guy is that.

HOWEVER, with that said, he could have something else or suspect he has something else, and maybe that is something more realistic that could be explored. Like maybe he has HPV or herpes or gonorrhea or something...

And I'm not trying to worry you!

I am just saying that if his behavior truly is "guilty behavior" then there are other STIs that are far more likely to be causing it than HIV in your case.

Well, keep me posted on your tests (if you want). I am def here for you.

Last edited by moderator2; 08-09-2011 at 08:19 AM.

 
Old 08-08-2011, 10:19 AM   #13
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Re: Please help me

Quote:
Originally Posted by blokecalledkev View Post
If he had AIDs, as Apollo rightly points out, he would be on medication and /or be very ill. For him to have AIDs he would know he was infected with HIV, he would have been diagnosed with it. For anybody to have diagnosed with HIV/AIDs and knowingly infect another person would be against the law, it is a criminal offense. I assure you it is extremely unlikely he had AIDs and would allow himself or you for that matter to be put at risk. It is very, very, unlikely he had AIDs. Please, at this point, donít allow your mind to run away with itself, as it stands you have had the briefest of brief encounters with somebody who in all probability did not have HIV.

While you wait this out to be tested do yourself a massive favour, donít keep looking at HIV symptoms online, quit the self examinations, please stop playing out worst case scenarios and stop putting everything thing that happens to you down to HIV. It is extremely unlikely you have been infected.

Kevin

Thanks Kevin,

I owe you the utmost thanks (actually everyone who has replied!) for helping me to calm down, When I checked myself into A & E they told me my heart was beating unusually fast like someone who was about to have a heart attack. So you can imagine what kind of state I have been in. But I shall try and stop diagnosing myself, for now...

 
Old 08-08-2011, 10:31 AM   #14
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Re: Please help me

Thanks for reply! I can't thank you all enough,

I am trying not to keep diagnosing myself on the internet but it's so hard, particularly when you keep noticing different things. I am just praying that everything will be okay. I have even had a full slice of bread since, I havent much of an appetite and everytime I eat I feel like I'm going to be sick.

I hope your speculations are right, as he was happily texting me until I said I was ill, he just stopped altogether, so this doesn't help at all. But unfortunately it's a sad waiting game from here on

Last edited by moderator2; 08-09-2011 at 08:18 AM.

 
Old 08-09-2011, 08:36 AM   #15
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Re: Please help me

A few things were a little confusing to me, but I have re-read the rules and now understand that as a newbie I dont have the privilege to private message anybody,

Thanks all for the support everyone,

I am trying to stay calm, it's really hard, trying not to worry but doing myself no favours, have no desire to eat anything I could be losing weight but I havent noticed yet.

Yesterday evening out of the blue I received a text from this guy asking if I felt better and whether I wanted to go over to his flat to see him.

Thinking about it makes me feel sick to my stomach and reinforces his character which does nothing but heighten my suspicion, my symptoms have increased but I am trying not to focus too much on them in fear of making myself worse

 
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