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Old 09-30-2011, 07:32 PM   #1
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Unhappy Anxiety is killing me

Hi all,
I'm a 40 year old bi-sexual guy. Recently I've been visiting this spa and got to know one of the massuer there. He's about 27 years old. Started of with a hand job, then we progressed to oral sex (just him giving me oral sex). A few days ago, we progressed to anal sex. I did put on a condom and everything was over in about 5 mins.

The thing that bothers me greatly is that he used the massage oil as lube. Yes I know I was absolutely stupid in allowing him to do that. Now, I don't know if there was any breakage in the condom but when I asked him 3 days later (yes, I visited him just to get answers..) he was very certain that there was no breakage.

So here I am now, my mind racing back and forth if I had actually contacted HIV from this guy. The anxiety is killing me. I know I can only be sure after about 3 months???? but I believe the anxiety would have killed me by then.

What am I to do?

Thanks in advance.

Last edited by mod85; 09-30-2011 at 09:31 PM.

 
Old 09-30-2011, 09:46 PM   #2
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Re: Anxiety is killing me

condom prevents hiv even if broken would still be a slim chance. also you have proof he's hiv positive? he needs to have it to pass it to you, get him checked and solve your fear.

but your 100% safe.

 
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Old 09-30-2011, 11:22 PM   #3
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Re: Anxiety is killing me

Gay couples who have one partner positive and the other negative, have sex with condoms over many years. The negative person contiues to be negative due the use of condoms. Condoms are used to protect from HIV and when used correctly they are 100%. The lube in this case didnt effect the condom.

Overall you have nothing to worry about buddy
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Old 10-01-2011, 07:15 AM   #4
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Re: Anxiety is killing me

Thanks guys for the response. I guess I've been reading way too much on the net. It does nothing but fuel my fear. I think I better stop reading or it'll eventually drive me mad.

 
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Old 10-01-2011, 07:23 AM   #5
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Re: Anxiety is killing me

This is one of the best ever posts in this forum buddy. If only everone else had your thoughts them many would saves themselves many months of worry and stress over nothing.. and in 90% of cases, it is nothing

Again well said, and best of luck to you
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Last edited by mod85; 10-03-2011 at 10:24 PM.

 
Old 10-01-2011, 07:34 AM   #6
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Re: Anxiety is killing me

Quote:
Originally Posted by welmys View Post
Thanks guys for the response. I guess I've been reading way too much on the net. It does nothing but fuel my fear. I think I better stop reading or it'll eventually drive me mad.
This is a very good idea. I can guarantee as in absolutely guarantee if you continue to read stuff online you will find no end of stuff to fuel your anxieties. In the end it will all be for nothing and will serve no purpose.

Given what you have posted it is extremely unlikely you have contracted HIV from what you describe. Condoms are designed to fail catastrophically when they do. And had it failed you would both become aware of it very quickly. You would not be questioning whether it had, you would know it had.

If you wish to test out you have no reason not to expect negative results.

Kevin.

 
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Old 10-01-2011, 07:44 AM   #7
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Re: Anxiety is killing me

Thanks blokecalledkev,

The problem with me is that I try to scour the net for assurance and the more I read the more I get freaked out till a point where I can hardly sit still.

I know there's a risk from oral sex as well but that should be very unlikely too right? Heck that's what I gather from Googling around.

I was ok till I read how oil based lubricant can weaken the condom and from there, everything went down hill. My anxiety got so bad that I had to resort to xanax to calm down.

Thanks again for the replies. Much appreciated.

 
Old 10-01-2011, 08:03 AM   #8
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Re: Anxiety is killing me

There is no risk from oral sex. Despite what you may read on other websites, there has never been a single confirmed case of HIV ever being transmitted via oral sex. The risk is theoretical and in reality as never been played out over the last 30 years.

Buddy, if it was though for on moment you had put yourself at the slightest risk of an HIV infection it would be stated clearly and unequivocally. You were not at risk.

Kevin.

Last edited by blokecalledkev; 10-01-2011 at 08:04 AM.

 
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Old 10-01-2011, 10:03 AM   #9
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Re: Anxiety is killing me

Just go back to your post where you said the Net " fuels your fears " Indeed it dose, so stop reading it. YOu will find the man never went to the moon, that aliens run the world and cigerettes are good for...

Buddy your fine, please enjoy the weekend
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Old 10-03-2011, 04:43 PM   #10
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Re: Anxiety is killing me

Hi guys, I went to do a blood work today (5 days after the incident).. I know it's stupid but I just couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't function at work and the moment I wake up, my mind starts racing and my entire body starts to tremble.

Now I regret taking the blood work as the results will be out this Friday.

I've been thinking back about my 2 other penetrative experience and I'm now wondering if cheap condoms were used instead. Oh gosh..looks like this will never end.

 
Old 10-03-2011, 05:59 PM   #11
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Re: Anxiety is killing me

Don't matter what condom was used, a condom is a condom. Your encounter wasn't risky and can't have contracted HIV from him (who needs to be positive by the way). Your test was to early and will come out negative, and when you test in 4, 6 or 8 or 1 year, it will still be negative.

Goodluck

 
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Old 10-03-2011, 10:00 PM   #12
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Re: Anxiety is killing me

Quote:
Originally Posted by welmys View Post
Hi guys, I went to do a blood work today (5 days after the incident).. I know it's stupid but I just couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't function at work and the moment I wake up, my mind starts racing and my entire body starts to tremble.

Now I regret taking the blood work as the results will be out this Friday.

I've been thinking back about my 2 other penetrative experience and I'm now wondering if cheap condoms were used instead. Oh gosh..looks like this will never end.
It will end friday when you get negative tests from your no risk exposure. I know your concered but the tesyting centre would have told you what we have, that protected sex is just that protected, even if they were the cheapest condoms in the world. HIV cannot get through a condom - fact.
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Old 10-03-2011, 10:21 PM   #13
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Re: Anxiety is killing me

Quote:
Originally Posted by welmys View Post
Hi guys, I went to do a blood work today (5 days after the incident).. I know it's stupid but I just couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't function at work and the moment I wake up, my mind starts racing and my entire body starts to tremble.

Now I regret taking the blood work as the results will be out this Friday.

I've been thinking back about my 2 other penetrative experience and I'm now wondering if cheap condoms were used instead. Oh gosh..looks like this will never end.
On top of the advice you have already been given I would advise you to refrain from all forms of sexual contact in future. I give you this advise because your reaction to this innocent event is so extreme it is bordering on paranoia. Unless you are able to deal, with having sexual contact with another person in the correct manner you should refrain from doing so. Buddy doing something and then freaking out about it later on is not healthy, if in doubt don't do it.

If you decide that abstention is the way for you, during that period you could take some time to educate yourself about HIV and how it is and is not transmitted.

Kevin.

Last edited by blokecalledkev; 10-03-2011 at 11:17 PM.

 
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Old 10-04-2011, 02:08 AM   #14
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Re: Anxiety is killing me

Thank you everyone for replying. I myself is surprised on how extreme my reaction to the fact that oil-based lubricant was used.
In fact, I had no problems with the first 2 penetrative sex (with women).. somehow, this 3rd one is eating me up. I just can't figure out the reason.

I really have to learn to deal with my emotions or it's going to eat me alive.
Again, I appreciate all your replies.

 
Old 10-04-2011, 06:02 PM   #15
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Re: Anxiety is killing me

Just got a call from the doctor.
Results were -ve.
So the good news is I didn't contract any thing from my 2 previous visits.

I don't know if I should do another test in the coming month. Can't handle the anxiety.

As always, thanks a million for all you guys have done. It does help me a lot.

 
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