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Old 03-20-2012, 07:21 AM   #1
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Condom broke... Oral & afraid!! Advice please!

I have been glancing at these forums lately and just decided to go ahead & post my risk. I would really love advice & opinions on this. In January, I had a possible exposure to HIV along with many other Stds. I met up with a marine from LA after meeting him online. We had no plans for sex and he was actually a seemingly nice guy. I stayed with him in his hotel and one thing led to another. I gave him unprotected oral sex twice & when it came to sex, we had anal. He attempted to penetrate me anally but I felt something pop, he quickly pulled out & exchanged condoms & got more lube & we continued.

He asked me to be his girlfriend much earlier & I agreed. But after he went back to LA I began thinking about the risk. It drove me crazy & I ended up calling him and forwardly asking did he have HIV or anything else I should know about because I really want to be aware.

He told me no & that he has received a full std screening 4 months before he visited me because the military required it & that if he had anything they would have been contacted him as they do not get results unless they are positive.

I was at ease for a while, but then asked again & again which made him upset. He kept telling me I was paranoid & he didn't mind If I got tested but I shouldn't if he was the only person I slept with (which he is)


I have been driving myself crazy. Especially now that he rarely contacts me because of several marine tasks. But we still kep in touch & are to meet again in may...but to be honest I just want to have peace of mind. The only thing he asked me was I pregnant or something because I'm
So emotional.

May will be the end of my window period & I will test either on the 1st or 2nd. I do not want to test early as i feel it will add more worry to me. I want to test in exactly 3 months or over a bit. I just dont know what to trust now..

 
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Old 03-20-2012, 07:25 AM   #2
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Re: Condom broke... Oral & afraid!! Advice please!

And also to add I do not plan on meeting him anymore as I should not be with someone I don't trust. I really wish it would have never happened. His non chalant attitude really makes me worry & I'm suffering badly from anxiety each day because of it.

 
Old 03-20-2012, 07:29 AM   #3
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Re: Condom broke... Oral & afraid!! Advice please!

My nerves are so worked over I can't do anything right without my stomach doing flips. I have no symptoms which eases me slightly though I know symptoms aren't reliable factors. But if I did I'm sure I'd be even more of a wreck.

 
Old 03-20-2012, 08:20 AM   #4
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Re: Condom broke... Oral & afraid!! Advice please!

Hiya, you are certainly in a tiss, so take a deep breath and calm down

ok, he used a condom to protect himself so that would ceratinly say he looks after himself not to mention the army do test for std's and HIV and their is no reason why he would lie about his status. The chances him having HIV are less then 1%, so lets take this all in mind ok.

Now yo your risk. Oral is no risk so we dont have to think about that. As for the condom bursting, well its sounds like he didnt get inside you ( did he ?) , if thats the case you have zero risk. If he did then its for a milli second by the sounnds of it, so really the risk is so small i wouldnt have any concern, but of course a test will confirm that.

It sounds like its been 6 weeks, so if i was you to help your mental state a rapid test will be 99% conclusive at this time.

Hope this helps
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Old 03-20-2012, 08:20 AM   #5
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Re: Condom broke... Oral & afraid!! Advice please!

Waiting for the full three months to have an HIV test is kind of outdated. With modern HIV tests almost all HIV infections are now detected between 2 to 6 weeks and the three month test is simply confirm the findings of earlier tests. You can test now with a high degree of confidence that the result will accurately reflect your HIV status and will not change at 3 months.

Your risk is very very low. Oral sex carries no risk of HIV transmission, the mouth being an extremely hostile place for the very fragile HI virus. The only risk, if you wish to call it such was the very brief unprotected anal sex. And given the fact that the bloke you was with is actually very unlikely to have HIV it is unlikely as in astronomically unlikely you will test positive from the events you have posted about.

Please, if you have doubts test now and collect what will almost certainly be a negative result.

Kevin.

Last edited by blokecalledkev; 03-20-2012 at 08:21 AM.

 
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Old 03-20-2012, 08:41 AM   #6
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Re: Condom broke... Oral & afraid!! Advice please!

Honestly after reading this & my own post again I think you are right. It's unlikely. I do need peace of mind though so i will test. My mind has been stuck on this for so long. Thank you so much for your reply. And even more for your time. I will test on the 22nd of this month Instead of waiting longer. The longer I wait the crazier my mind will run.

 
Old 03-20-2012, 08:55 AM   #7
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Re: Condom broke... Oral & afraid!! Advice please!

Quote:
Originally Posted by WinterPooh View Post
Honestly after reading this & my own post again I think you are right. It's unlikely. I do need peace of mind though so i will test. My mind has been stuck on this for so long. Thank you so much for your reply. And even more for your time. I will test on the 22nd of this month Instead of waiting longer. The longer I wait the crazier my mind will run.
we all make mistakes in life .. that should not be a reason for us to punish ourselves... Just take this experience and grow from it and change for the good... Im in a similar situation as you, i will be getting tested on this Thrusday it will be 60 days from the event. I truly convinced myself i have HIV, but as time goes by and so called "symptoms dissappear" and when you get help from others, you start to relax.. PLEASE DO NOT WORK YOURSELF UP, i did and have had the worst physical side effects from stress,anxiety and depression ... Were all just scared, HIV isnt something anyone wants... MY last test was at 47 days, ELISA test, NEGAtive... In reality i know i dont have HIV, but im scared and I have that little doubt in my head, which will go away in time.... GOOD luck and stay HIV NEgative ,,, please post your test results , so you can help another person who might be in a similar situation as yours

 
Old 03-20-2012, 09:08 AM   #8
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Re: Condom broke... Oral & afraid!! Advice please!

Quote:
Originally Posted by WinterPooh View Post
Honestly after reading this & my own post again I think you are right. It's unlikely. I do need peace of mind though so i will test. My mind has been stuck on this for so long. Thank you so much for your reply. And even more for your time. I will test on the 22nd of this month Instead of waiting longer. The longer I wait the crazier my mind will run.
Hi, thats ok glad we could help. Indeed, testing now will take away the vast amount of stress away that your under. That said you risk is indeed very small and im expecting nothing less than a nice negative result. You and i would recommed this take a "rapid" test which will give you results in 15 minutes as waiting is so hard.

Hope that helps
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Old 03-20-2012, 09:26 AM   #9
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Re: Condom broke... Oral & afraid!! Advice please!

go keep your mind occupied and busy
until you get tested
you will be ok
good luck

 
Old 03-20-2012, 10:53 AM   #10
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Re: Condom broke... Oral & afraid!! Advice please!

Quote:
Originally Posted by WinterPooh View Post
Honestly after reading this & my own post again I think you are right. It's unlikely. I do need peace of mind though so i will test. My mind has been stuck on this for so long. Thank you so much for your reply. And even more for your time. I will test on the 22nd of this month Instead of waiting longer. The longer I wait the crazier my mind will run.
No problem. The mind can be an amazing thing; it can work out very complex problems and given a chance can create havoc, playing out all sorts of worst case scenarios. Fortunately for us all an HIV status is not determined by our own minds and there is a world of difference between imagining and convincing oneself you have HIV and actually having HIV. An HIV test will determine your status, nothing else.

Good luck with your test on the 22nd and to be honest this is for your own peace of mind rather than a high risk of an infection. In the meantime please occupy your mind with other thoughts, negative thoughts won't alter your test results and based on what you have posted you really should be expecting negative results.

Kevin.

 
Old 03-28-2012, 06:51 PM   #11
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Re: Condom broke... Oral & afraid!! Advice please!

Ok just a quick update. My health counselor at school recommended I go ahead & wait the 3 months out then test (smh I know I know) The guy & I aren't on good terms. He rarely contacts me. Actually he never does. It's me always trying to get in touch with him. I feel super afraid all over. He said something weird. Makes me think he is a big liar & also a cheat. Who knows what else he lied about. All I can think of if that slip when his condom broke. Not worried about the whole oral thing anymore, I'm gonna have to wait this one out folks. Some days I'm like it's all ok & in my head. Others it's like...thinking of his attitude from when I first asked him about his status.

 
Old 03-28-2012, 07:49 PM   #12
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Re: Condom broke... Oral & afraid!! Advice please!

ANxiety, it is brutal . You should not be as worried as you are.

While a test at 3 months is considered conclusive, you should demand one now if you are this worried. A test now would be 99%-ish accurate and could have you calming down. Not sure of your age, but you should be able to walk into local clinics and be anonymously tested. Google "hiv test" and go to the first results to find a place.

With what you describe, I would not at all be worried. People often cannot accept that type of answer, so get tested. I would be expecting a negative. please relax...it does our bodies so much harm worrying

 
Old 03-29-2012, 01:20 AM   #13
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Re: Condom broke... Oral & afraid!! Advice please!

Hi Pooh, agreed he probley is not what he appeared to be, the best thing to do is leave him in the past and dont waste another minute thinking of him.

Back to you, well if your getting very concerned about HIV then agreed with sotm, take a rapid test and a negative now will be very encouraging and will help you rest a little better.

At this time if you have not already, you should have a full std screan just to rule anything out.

Again, back to his attitude, please dont read anything into it, i think its down to him as a person more so than his HIV status.
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Old 03-29-2012, 05:33 AM   #14
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Re: Condom broke... Oral & afraid!! Advice please!

Yes Sotm my anxiety is pretty bad. Sometimes I wake up & instantly start to feel my lymph nodes just to make sure they arent swollen. Not to mention I'm losing weight with finals & this worry on my shoulder. I want to test now but my counselor suggested waiting after April. I'm still iffy. And just to add I'm 20, he's turning 22 in may. We are both young. I feel so stupid honestly. I'm really ready to let this go. Thank you so much for your time. I haven't spoken to my family about this at all, I feel really stupid.

Apollo I agree! I shouldn't factor in his attitude but it scares me. He told me I was just paranoid etc but I really do wanna just forget him. Sometimes I feel like he knows he put me at risk. I even asked him did our condom break & "he" said no. But it's hazy to me. But I do know something popped and slipped. It had to have broken. I just want to put this all in the past already. And be able to tell him I'm finished with him..I feel like I can't just yet because he may say something to scare me if I do. The last thing I need is extra anxiety & stress. I'm ready to get this over with. I also already found a testing place that do the rapid oral one, takes 20 minutes & testing is free. Does this sound ok? It's recommended here. Thank you all so much again. Most of my friends won't even hear me out. They have unprotected sex and it's the norm, I just can't. Ugh (sorry for my rambling)

Last edited by WinterPooh; 03-29-2012 at 05:43 AM.

 
Old 03-29-2012, 05:42 AM   #15
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Re: Condom broke... Oral & afraid!! Advice please!

Well i see no reason why he would lie about that not to mention you would "feel" the difference, that said if your not 100% sure then testing will not do any harm.Your weight loss is certainly down to stress, when i was in your position i lost 18pounds in 4 weeks, so dont let it worry you.

Forget what she said, do yourself a favour and just go to a clinic tell them you had an exposure 3 months ago and get a rapid test, more so for your own sanity and then you can get on with your exams, that would be my course of action because that is what i did.
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