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Old 03-31-2012, 10:45 AM   #1
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High Risk: Certain I have HIV and have all Symptoms.

Hello, I am very worried, anxious, depressed and scared. I'm a gay man. Almost 2 months ago, February 12th I stayed out late and to my own misfortune got very drunk and came home with a guy. I did use a condom with him however, at some point it came off and then I remember not using the condom, so the transition between using the condom and not, i cannot remember. (BLACKOUT) that is the bit I cannot remember. Ever since i suspected I may have contracted HIV. I never had symptoms for the first 6 weeks. I went to get a test, rapit test and ELISA test which both came back negative. Following the results I started to get symptoms, mild fever/flu like feelings, I had a flat rash or spots in my inner arm and the same on the other inner arm, slight dull ache in my left joint. Headache, I've been anxious and not sleeping. I am just so terrified I feel like my world is falling apart just when my life is meant to be at it's best. I know I Have all the symptoms it has now been 7 weeks and I will be getting tested on Monday. I know the guy was a stranger and he looked like the sort who sleeps around. It was a huge mistake and I never ever normally do this. However it will be one i Live to regret. I Need someone to talk to because im suffering through this alone and if i Have it no one can know. I just dont know what to do. I have all the symptoms I am certain I have it. Worst of all I could have gone for PEP when it happened but was uninformed due to being naive and stupid. I'd always been careful it never really was something i thought id research into. Till now. I feel i Have all the symptoms. Oh and I Have swollen lymph nodes. I feel almost as if everytime I research symptoms they happen. I havent had a temperature yet. The flu went after a week. Before these came on I had gone out a lot that week before and shared drink with someone who had a temperature or so they said. I also have a cough now and tingling in my lips. Oh dear. I just know I have it. So i am trying to prepare. I am a university student. How will I maintain my way of living, or change it? i need a lot of advice and someone to talk to. What will i do without my family or friends or anyone knowing to ensure I can live without obvious symptoms. HELP please. I know I have it, theres just no way i dont. The 5 week test was only negative because of my compromised immune system. Oh dear. I just need someone to talk to. I have to now look at my parents for 2 weeks as I go stay with them for easter.

Last edited by Worrier2012; 04-13-2012 at 03:51 AM.

 
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Old 03-31-2012, 12:05 PM   #2
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Re: High Risk: Certain I have HIV and have all Symptoms.

Buddy calm down you are making yourself ill. The symptoms that you are so busy freaking out about do not in any shape form or manner resemble the symptoms a primary HIV infection. ARS symptoms if they happen at all happen 2 to 4 weeks after an infection not 6 weeks. They come together and go together.

HIV is never self-diagnosed by sytyoms stop cut out the self-examination, stop bouncing around the web looking at HIV website where symptoms are listed and stop the endless search for tell tall signs, there are none. HIV as no specific symptoms that means there is not a single symptom that points directly to an HIV infection. Stop the symptom chasing. And stop jumping to conclusions. You have no idea if he had HIV and you are not even certain you actually had a risk.

Your test at 6 weeks on the other hand is very valid. Almost all HIV infections are detected between 2 to 6 weeks and any test result at six weeks is unlikely to change at 12 weeks. Many leading experts are calling for 6 week test to be considered conclusive. You need no other tests now than a conformation test at 12 weeks; it is very unlikely to be positive. Do not be tempted to over test, the more you test the more you run the risk of a false positive.

And please stop bouncing around this site, stay within your own thread if you want advice and replies. Hijacking other threads, especially a thread about rape and the anguish this brings about is not the done thing ok?

Kevin.

Last edited by blokecalledkev; 03-31-2012 at 12:08 PM.

 
Old 03-31-2012, 12:12 PM   #3
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Re: High Risk: Certain I have HIV and have all Symptoms.

[Hey i hear you Kevin, but the thing is I got tested after 5 weeks not 6, then the symptoms came on in the 6th week. These "symptoms" have all come together one by one in the same week as you said. With regards to the level of risk it was very high as i was the insertive partner and it was anal sex. Also he is a very promiscuous person. The negative was at 5 weeks. That is why, I would be calm otherwise. I wasnt even looking for symptoms they just came when i was finally relaxed. I just dont know what i'll do really.

Last edited by Administrator; 04-21-2012 at 08:16 PM.

 
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Old 03-31-2012, 12:17 PM   #4
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Re: High Risk: Certain I have HIV and have all Symptoms.

That is not what you said in your OP, you said you could not remember what happened, were drunk. You did not state you had unprotected anal sex. If you want further advice and opinions please get your story right.

Did you or did you not engage in unprotected anal sex?

Your test at 5 weeks trumps your self examinations. Please be adviced, again, HIV is not diagnosed by symptoms, it is diagnosed by an HIV test. Your ailments will have zero bearing on the outcome of a test, zero.

Last edited by blokecalledkev; 03-31-2012 at 12:20 PM.

 
Old 03-31-2012, 12:24 PM   #5
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Re: High Risk: Certain I have HIV and have all Symptoms.

Quote:
Originally Posted by blokecalledkev View Post
That is not what you said in your OP, you said you could not remember what happened, were drunk. You did not state you had unprotected anal sex. If you want further advice and opinions please get your story right.

Did you or did you not engage in unprotected anal sex?

Your test at 5 weeks trumps your self examinations. Please be adviced, again, HIV is not diagnosed by symptoms, it is diagnosed by an HIV test. Your ailments will have zero bearing on the outcome of a test, zero.
Yes I used a condom that night but then it came off, I know it came off because it was on the floor when I had finished and I remember seeing it there. I do remember not having it on at some point and have thus been worried. I did use it to start with though. I know my test at 5 weeks is more accurate and you get fed up with people who self diagnose but the thing is when you have symptoms which are so noticeable its hard to ignore. Sorry, im just very scared. I really dont want this to be happening. Sorry to be bothersome.

 
Old 03-31-2012, 12:37 PM   #6
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Re: High Risk: Certain I have HIV and have all Symptoms.

Buddy you are not being bothersome, if you were being so I would tell you so.

To be totally frank with you, mate, your story is full of ifs. If you had unprotected anal sex and did not notice(which is actually unbelievable), if he had HIV (which is very unlikely) and if you have managed to self-diagnosed HIV by symptoms (which is impossible). The only solid fact you have posted is your negative result at five weeks. This result is unlikely to change. If you wish to continue to live in the world of ifs and speculation please be my guest. It will not make a jot of difference to your HIV status.

So what do you do now? The answer is nothing buddy. You stop all the self-examinations, you stop bouncing around the net, stop symptom chasing, stop worrying about HIV 24/7. You take your time, take a deep breath (yes it does help) and test again at 12 weeks. It is very unlikely this result will be any different from your 5 week result. Buddy nothing you do now, now amount of freaking, no amount of beating yourself up; no amount of worry will alter a single thing. Just relax and test out, given your brief, questionable exposure and negative result at 5 weeks you are very unlikely to test positive from this.


Kevin.

Last edited by blokecalledkev; 03-31-2012 at 06:43 PM.

 
Old 03-31-2012, 12:42 PM   #7
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Re: High Risk: Certain I have HIV and have all Symptoms.

Thanks Kevin,

That's all I can do. I will get one more test on Monday then leave it until Mid May. My god the wait may be what topples me over. No idea how I will do it. Dont even know how I survived almost 2 months. Anyway thanks for the advice. It's that point where there's nothing I can do but pray. Hmmm oh Dear.

 
Old 04-01-2012, 12:21 AM   #8
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Re: High Risk: Certain I have HIV and have all Symptoms.

You are too quick to worry about this. And, don't use being drunk as an excuse. Your self diagnosis is common. People are paranoid about becoming HIV positive after having unprotected sex or having a mishap. Did this guy tell you he's positive? Also, it can be all in your mind. We make ourselves sick by making up symptoms that aren't' really there. Occasionally stressing and worrying about things will breakdown the immune system; which makes it easy to catch colds and the flu. I've been in your shoes (more than once). I will rush to get a HIV test because I slipped up. If I happened to catch a cold or had an achy body, I used to think right away that I had the virus and I was doomed, but it was all in my mind. Try not to break yourself down like this. Wait another six months to get tested again. If you are positive, it's not the end of the world. HIV positive people are living healthy and long lives just like HIV negative people. There are far more worst diseases in the world that are actually fatal and uncontrollable.

Last edited by desiree2; 04-01-2012 at 12:39 AM. Reason: didn't want the quoute

 
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Old 04-01-2012, 01:20 AM   #9
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Re: High Risk: Certain I have HIV and have all Symptoms.

Quote:
Originally Posted by desiree2 View Post
You are too quick to worry about this. And, don't use being drunk as an excuse. Your self diagnosis is common. People are paranoid about becoming HIV positive after having unprotected sex or having a mishap. Did this guy tell you he's positive? Also, it can be all in your mind. We make ourselves sick by making up symptoms that aren't' really there. Occasionally stressing and worrying about things will breakdown the immune system; which makes it easy to catch colds and the flu. I've been in your shoes (more than once). I will rush to get a HIV test because I slipped up. If I happened to catch a cold or had an achy body, I used to think right away that I had the virus and I was doomed, but it was all in my mind. Try not to break yourself down like this. Wait another six months to get tested again. If you are positive, it's not the end of the world. HIV positive people are living healthy and long lives just like HIV negative people. There are far more worst diseases in the world that are actually fatal and uncontrollable.
Hey yeah but the thing is I am certain..... the guy was also gaunt looking and a friend told me that he wouldnt be surprised if he has something. I too think this. I just feel awful, I dont feel well either and havent slept for a week. But if i am positive i just cant be positive, im too young. Its such a nightmare. I feel like why didnt I just got for PEP, i wish I was more quick acting. I was in such a state of shock and didnt know much about it.

 
Old 04-01-2012, 06:10 AM   #10
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Re: High Risk: Certain I have HIV and have all Symptoms.

OH well he must have HIV if you and your mates have discussed it and he looks like he as something. Get a grip, you are not in the slightest way qualified to determine whether somebody as HIV or not. People who have HIV donít look any different to anybody else, they donít act any different and your remarks on an HIV forum could be taken as quite offensive to people who actually have HIV. Stop stereotyping people and cut out the schoolboy whispers about this guy, they are not welcome.

 
Old 04-01-2012, 09:58 AM   #11
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Re: High Risk: Certain I have HIV and have all Symptoms.

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Originally Posted by blokecalledkev View Post
OH well he must have HIV if you and your mates have discussed it and he looks like he as something. Get a grip, you are not in the slightest way qualified to determine whether somebody as HIV or not. People who have HIV donít look any different to anybody else, they donít act any different and your remarks on an HIV forum could be taken as quite offensive to people who actually have HIV. Stop stereotyping people and cut out the schoolboy whispers about this guy, they are not welcome.
Sorry I didn't mean it like that. What I meant was he looked more like he had it but was not taking care of himself, more unkempt looking. Like probably he didn't know he had it. I know that's still bad an assumption to make and I can only hope he didn't but the way he is so promiscuous suggests to me he may have it. Im just very worried. Im now with my parents and their so happy to see me back from UNI but i just feel so down and they dont know why. Its such a shame. I really dont know what i'll do if positive. Thing is, ive lost my appetite and they said ive lost weight too. I normally eat a lot and for me leaving some food is a rareity. I just wish id gone for PEP straight away and for that I'll regret my whole life.

 
Old 04-01-2012, 02:13 PM   #12
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Re: High Risk: Certain I have HIV and have all Symptoms.

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Originally Posted by Worrier2012 View Post
Hey yeah but the thing is I am certain..... the guy was also gaunt looking and a friend told me that he wouldnt be surprised if he has something. I too think this. I just feel awful, I dont feel well either and havent slept for a week. But if i am positive i just cant be positive, im too young. Its such a nightmare. I feel like why didnt I just got for PEP, i wish I was more quick acting. I was in such a state of shock and didnt know much about it.
Looks and what people think and say about other people can be very deceiving. It's good that you are experiencing this. Young or not, mistakes and regrets will be made throughout life. The most attractive and healthiest people can also have a STD or HIV. Would you be this worried if the same thing happened to someone that you found very attractive and trustworthy; probably not. You are judging this guy because he has a reputation of being a slime or whatever; this doesn't make you no better than what you think or heard about him. It's time to grow up and educate yourself more about HIV, STDs, and about life in general. The more you write, the more selfish and immature you sound. Take in consideration that the guy you had sex with may possibly be upset, too. You are suffering when you don't have to. If these symptoms that you spoke about existed within a couple weeks after having sex are listed as signs of HIV, it doesn't mean you have it or that you're this horrible person. I think you are more concern with what other people would think. Talk to someone who is HIV+ and who don't mind sharing their story. Condom or no condom, having sex with different people is risky altogether.

 
Old 04-01-2012, 03:34 PM   #13
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Re: High Risk: Certain I have HIV and have all Symptoms.

Quote:
Originally Posted by desiree2 View Post
Looks and what people think and say about other people can be very deceiving. It's good that you are experiencing this. Young or not, mistakes and regrets will be made throughout life. The most attractive and healthiest people can also have a STD or HIV. Would you be this worried if the same thing happened to someone that you found very attractive and trustworthy; probably not. You are judging this guy because he has a reputation of being a slime or whatever; this doesn't make you no better than what you think or heard about him. It's time to grow up and educate yourself more about HIV, STDs, and about life in general. The more you write, the more selfish and immature you sound. Take in consideration that the guy you had sex with may possibly be upset, too. You are suffering when you don't have to. If these symptoms that you spoke about existed within a couple weeks after having sex are listed as signs of HIV, it doesn't mean you have it or that you're this horrible person. I think you are more concern with what other people would think. Talk to someone who is HIV+ and who don't mind sharing their story. Condom or no condom, having sex with different people is risky altogether.
I know i am sorry for how I am sounding im just in shock of it all really to be honest, how would one initially react when coming to terms with it. Okay didn't mean to sound judgemental but he isn't exactly known to be celibate or careful for that matter that's all. Anyway, I have my test tomorrow and I'm just trying to mentally prepare for the result really. You can say symptoms due to anxiety but I have shooting pain down my legs, tingles in my feet and joints in my legs & fingers now. The symptoms come on and off at different parts of my body. Hmm strange. Only half hour ago was I getting a pain where my liver is, mind you i did have a glass of wine. Ah well, alls said and done even I'm fed up of worrying. Just see what happens tomorrow. My fault for not going to get some PEP, i'll live with that regret.

 
Old 04-01-2012, 04:55 PM   #14
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Re: High Risk: Certain I have HIV and have all Symptoms.

You would never have been prescribed PEP. Itís only ever prescribed when somebody as had a high risk exposure with somebody who is known to be HIV positive. You do not know you even had anal sex and you certainly do not know he had HIV. And no your assumptions (as offensive as they are) do not count.

Drop the hysterics here pal. Your test at 5 weeks over rules any worse case scenarios you keep dreaming up. If you test tomorrow there is no reason to expect a positive result.

And please drop this Stone Age attitude about HIV. HIV is not the end of the world; it is a medically diagnosed and treatable condition, not a death sentence. This is 2012, not the 80ís. This overwhelming sense of dread and foreboding does not even belong in this century.

 
Old 04-01-2012, 05:00 PM   #15
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Re: High Risk: Certain I have HIV and have all Symptoms.

Quote:
Originally Posted by blokecalledkev View Post
You would never have been prescribed PEP. Itís only ever prescribed when somebody as had a high risk exposure with somebody who is known to be HIV positive. You do not know you even had anal sex and you certainly do not know he had HIV. And no your assumptions (as offensive as they are) do not count.

Drop the hysterics here pal. Your test at 5 weeks over rules any worse case scenarios you keep dreaming up. If you test tomorrow there is no reason to expect a positive result.

And please drop this Stone Age attitude about HIV. HIV is not the end of the world; it is a medically diagnosed and treatable condition, not a death sentence. This is 2012, not the 80ís. This overwhelming sense of dread and foreboding does not even belong in this century.
Haha, well yes thats true I know that and I find reassurance in that its just i'm too young for that. At least when I finished UNI but I guess that's life. I hope the test is consistant tomorrow. I do feel very strong symptoms though momentarily which have evolved over the week from malaise feeling and runny nose and a rash the next day, to a dry cough and muscle and joint pains in my fingers, feet, legs. Its well wierd. Are these symptoms meant to be all one big concurrent fever or do they evolve in a week/two. I thought you got PEP if you had unprotected sex as they test you for HIV thee and then in order to determine whether to give you PEP so presumeably they would have known I had it and given me treatment? dunno

 
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