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Old 08-08-2012, 08:23 AM   #1
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Is it true that it's more difficult for a man to get HIV from a woman than vice versa

So, several of you have commented on my previous posts saying that I had no risk for HIV (I had unprotected oral sex with a guy I was dating -- maybe 10 times in total -- but he never came in my mouth; there was only some pre-***).

I do believe you (well, at least I'm trying really, really hard to). But, just to play the odds a little, I wanted a little more information:

Is it true that it is much more difficult for a man to get HIV from a woman than vice versa? So, let's take this guy I'm dating: he's a college guy, he's been with 10 girls before me (3 of which were in high school, longer term girlfriends). I'm not entirely sure how long he was with the other girls, but let's just assume a large majority of them were likely one-night stands from his frat parties or drunken nights (not trying to stereotype here, but just going with seemingly logical options). I know he would use a condom unless he was sure the girl was on some form of birth control.

Plus, with the number of people living with/diagnosed with HIV in the US sitting at around 1.2 million, according to the CDC, the likelihood of any of these college girls having HIV and therefore passing it on to this guy is probably pretty slim, correct? The only reason I'm concerned is -- like I said in my previous post -- this guy came down with what I believe was mono about halfway through our relationship, but he never got tested. i don't remember if he had a fever or a rash; all I know was he was incredibly tired.

Pretty soon after my last possible exposure to HIV (May 23), I developed a mild sore throat; I was diagnosed with strep on June 22, though my doctor never did a culture to confirm -- he merely looked at my throat and said I had strep (I had it before, but my sore throat was much more severe). Nevertheless, I took penicillin for 7 days and the white patches on my tonsils went down, though my symptoms returned a few days later and I was subsequently put on 7 more days of antibiotics. Since then, I've had a very slightly red, slightly irritated throat, and my doctor seems to think it could be environmental. I've also had a slightly congested nose and probably a little post-nasal drip, so I'm sure that's not helping my situation either. Finally, I have an abscess tooth that happened to show up right as my strep throat started, and I'll be getting a root canal this week. I'm sure that still has no bearing on the whole possible HIV exposure, correct?

But, let's face the facts: If I didn't actually have strep (or a bacterial infection), there's no way the white patches would have just disappeared from my throat, right? I know antibiotics do not treat viral infections, so it must be the case that I had strep. Secondly, I did get treated for a yeast infection last week (1 Diflucan pill), but I'm still having a tiny bit of discomfort. However, if this was in any way related to HIV, wouldn't my symptoms already have come and gone?

Like I said, I'm sure the likelihood that this guy even has HIV is pretty slim to none to begin with, and as multiple people have said, exclusive oral sex as I've described does not pose an HIV concern. Still, there is a tiny part of me that is absolutely terrified that I will be diagnosed with HIV when I go see my OB/GYN for my annual checkup next week. Do I honestly not have a reason to worry? I'm really trying hard not to be paranoid, but that's a little difficult after the guy joked "Maybe he had AIDS" when he was sick with that mono-type illness. I know it's a terrible joke and obviously he was kidding, but my anxiety is just through the roof because of this (and because of the fact that I seemingly still have symptoms). Although I'm sure my anxiety is still doing me no favors as far as my symptoms are concerned, either.

Again, thank you all for your replies. I'm honestly not trying to be difficult or to purposely ignore you, but I'm clearly not as educated about this disease and I just want to learn more. I am absolutely terrified to ask for a test next week, but I know I'll do it -- I just want some reassurance that it will be negative.

 
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Old 08-08-2012, 08:46 AM   #2
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Re: Is it true that it's more difficult for a man to get HIV from a woman than vice v

Your first thread has all the answers for you. Their is nothing else to add, either accept the advice or take a test at 3 months. Their is nothing new in your post that will change the facts or outcome of this. What i will add, you should test for all std's just to rule anything out.
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Old 08-08-2012, 12:56 PM   #3
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Re: Is it true that it's more difficult for a man to get HIV from a woman than vice v

So would the test next week be conclusive? It's not exactly 3 months (May 23-August 14), but close enough. Also, how quickly do blood test results take? For example, my appointment is next Tuesday; can I expect that, if I don't receive a call from my doctor by Friday afternoon, I'm in the clear (she only calls if there's a problem -- if everything is normal, she doesn't bother calling)?

 
Old 08-08-2012, 06:27 PM   #4
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Re: Is it true that it's more difficult for a man to get HIV from a woman than vice v

Your boyfriend's sexual history is irrelevant- you never put yourself at risk for HIV infection.

Adults who test positive for HIV fall into one of these categories: unprotected vaginal or anal sex, sharing IV drug works, or (rarely) occupational exposures in a healthcare setting. There are no exceptions- HIV has been studied for 30 years and it's transmission is well-characterized. You don't fall into those categories and therefore you are not going to test positive. It really is that simple.

 
Old 08-08-2012, 08:30 PM   #5
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Re: Is it true that it's more difficult for a man to get HIV from a woman than vice v

i got hiv from a women after being with her for over a year
during that year i didn't get infected,
i always had protected vaginal sex and unprotected oral sex
the first time i had vaginal sex without a condom
i got infected.
people do not get infected thru oral sex

 
Old 08-10-2012, 02:37 PM   #6
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Re: Is it true that it's more difficult for a man to get HIV from a woman than vice v

Thank you for your reply. Despite everyone saying I have no risk, I still think I want to get tested just for my own peace of mind (especially because I've had a second yeast infection in just as many weeks, which I've read can be a sign of HIV).

Call it paranoia, call it stupidity, whatever you want... I still feel the need to get tested.

I'm going to my OB/GYN for my annual appointment on Tuesday, 8/14, and I will ask for an HIV/STD blood test then. Will that be conclusive, although it will be slightly less than 3 months since my last possible exposure (or no-risk situation, as everyone here says)? I've also scheduled an oral test for August 23 just in case.

I'm literally so paranoid that I have HIV, despite everyone saying I'm okay. I'm not trying to ignore everyone's posts and I really do appreciate all of the feedback, but sometimes my anxiety is just too much. I think a lot of the anxiety has to do with the guilt that I was just so stupid to put myself in this situation to begin with.

 
Old 08-10-2012, 03:06 PM   #7
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Re: Is it true that it's more difficult for a man to get HIV from a woman than vice v

You were nowhere near a risk of an HIV infection and any test you take will reflect this.

Last edited by blokecalledkev; 08-10-2012 at 03:22 PM.

 
Old 08-10-2012, 03:28 PM   #8
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Re: Is it true that it's more difficult for a man to get HIV from a woman than vice v

Quote:
Originally Posted by blokecalledkev View Post
You were nowhere near a risk of an HIV infection and any test you take will reflect this.
And you don't think (what I now know was) an abscess tooth will have any impact on my possible risk? I had a fistula form on my gum... I originally thought it was a canker sore because I didn't have that much pain, but turned out it was an abscess because (go figure) the one cavity I've ever had in my life somehow got infected... but it was filled over 3 years ago and only became infected now.

 
Old 08-10-2012, 03:37 PM   #9
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Re: Is it true that it's more difficult for a man to get HIV from a woman than vice v

It makes no difference; you were not at a risk of an HIV infection, period.

You are needlessly worrying and needlessly testing for something you have absolutely zero chance of having.

Convincing yourself that you were at a risk an HIV infection is far different to actually putting yourself at a risk of an HIV infection. Clearly, despite all the advice, you have convinced yourself you were at a risk of an HIV infection.

An HIV test will show you how wrong your convictions are.

Kevin.

Last edited by blokecalledkev; 08-10-2012 at 04:22 PM.

 
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