Join Date: Oct 2012
This is long, but it's complicated and I'm hoping for the best.
So here we go. This is quite the story, but maybe some here have been in similar positions.
I am 34 years old, seperated from my wife for 2 years, and just left a relationship with a 21 year old girl I met at college who I know now is a highly intelligent sociopath, and who I've caught in dozens of lies and manipulations. Ive had unprotected sex dozens of times with her, and I have a botched circumcision that left me with foreskin that bleeds when it gets pulled back. The last couple times we had sex she was on her period during a trip we took together up north. I don't have to tell you how risky this was. She always tells me to come inside of her, and we have penetrative sex for hours at a time (I have alot of stamina). There were times I felt she was not enjoying the sex, just kind of doing it, and it seemed like she might be 'somewhere else' in her head, and staring right through me. On the trip I saw her shift her personality and seduce people right in front of me. One of the people I was with told me she thought there was something very wrong with her psychologically. There were rumors she had slept with other people in our relationship, including someone who said he had unprotected sex with her. I started to wonder what her game with me was (Im unattractive/overweight, broke, and dont even have a car to take her out in... I had thought she was someone who saw past that, but I think I was fooling myself) and considered that she may have HIV and be spreading it. I am very scared. I took her out one more time to get more information, and she admitted the sociopathy, and I believe made an offhand veiled remark about killing me. I then broke off communication and have been trying to figure out what to do.
This was based on some physical things I had noticed (brown/purplish spots on her back and neck, fatty growth where her neck meets her back, no feeling in her fingers or feet, easy bruising, multiple rashes, she also lost about 40 lbs in 4 months and said she was just 'eating organic') as well as psychological (mood swings, was always fatigued, never slept much, constant anxiety, was obsessed with living in the moment, didnt have anything in the way of future plans even though she just finished college, was very vague about everything, hiding our relationship from her family, never responding to text messages in a way that would insinuate there was a relationship). There were also things she said, like how when we first had unprotected sex, she said 'I don't want to hurt you' (which I thought was about emotions), and how she told me she didn't care about dying and wasnt afraid of it, and how she had said she was really good at hiding things. I brought up using condoms once, she said there was no need, she was on the pill and not sleeping with anyone else and loved me (this was less than a week before I know she had sex with someone else), and wasnt worried about STE's. She did not say STD's, she said STE's. I feel like she has been dropping hints about this since the beginning, as part of some crazy game like psychopaths are known to play.
I remembered that I was in a class with her before I really even knew who she was, and had brought up a treatment for RNA based viruses that seemed to be a magic bullet. Someone had questioned whether it was an AIDS cure, and then a girl had said she had long term HIV, and asked what this would do to/for her. I told her it probably wouldnt help by itself. I had thought it was another girl. I brought it up when we had coffee the first time and she smiled and said she didnt remember anything like that. Now I wonder if it might have been her that said it, and that when she saw i didnt remember is when the seduction and manipulation began.
I had an antibody test as soon as I got home from the vacation. It was negative. But it had only been 2 days since I last had sex with her. I researched her background and after digging found her on S&M websites when she was 15 years old, and saw that her handle corresponded to an HIV awareness campaign. Her avatar was a sea of blood and a handgun. About a week later I felt a tickle in my throat, like when Im about to have a cold. Then I had night sweats for 2 days. I looked up what the symptoms meant and saw HIV. That upset me greatly. Then, the vibrations started, like pins and needs all over my body. My neck started hurting bad, so did my shoulder, especially one that I had hurt a couple months earlier (though it had healed and felt fine previously). My upper back had a burning sensation, but was cool to the touch. I started getting bumps all over, like a dozen of them over a 2 day span. They were a little itchy but not bad, and they would stick around for a few days. My tongue was white, and my tonsils were huge. Something had happened to my immune system.
I definately felt like something was terribly wrong. My head felt really foggy, I was having trouble expressing myself correctly. I couldnt concentrate, and when I would try to sleep I would get a jolt and wake up an hour or two later. It was really difficult to get back to sleep. I was living on 3-4 hours of sleep a night. I slipped in and out of conciousness all day, unable to really rest, and when I tried to watch tv or read or anything, I would fall asleep for 15 seconds and wake with a jolt. Finally a week after this all started I went to a specialist who gave me a viral load test at 15 days from last contact. It came back negative. I told the doc I wanted to stay on top of this, he said the test was definitive and I had nothing to worry about, and that he would not do any additional testing. He did not take my concerns about the girl seriously at all, and told me I had 'guilt'.
But the symptoms didn't stop. The vibrations were less intense, but were still there somewhat. Then, a week later I felt like I had a fever fro a couple days, and my face was flush and red. My throat really tightened up and got sore, though i never developed any mucous or cough. I started feeling swelling/pain in my lymph nodes in my face, my neck, and my armpits, and little pains throughout my body. My mouth hurt and was bleeding on the inside, and their were white streaks on the roof and white spots on my tonsils, as well as two brown spots. My toungue had red bumps towards the back of it. My chest, back, stomach and face were itchy, though no rash or anything, just a couple bumps. My shoulders and neck were tight and hurt like hell. I had a weird sore on my testicles, and they hurt for a couple days. I called one of the guys that she had cheated on me with, and told him my concerns, and that he should get tested and if either of us was positive, we should go to the police. I'm sure he didnt take me seriously, and may have told her what I said. I waited till the 4 week mark, then took a rapid antibody test. It came back negative.
I had been ignoring her for a while now, not returning her calls or texts. She called incessantly for weeks, trying to get me to talk to her, and re-establish some control. I just wanted to be done with her, and was afraid if I talked to her she would reel me back in, because I felt she had some kind of strange power over me (anyone whos been in love understands this). But, I continued to keep track of her, and noticed one of my friends was now facebook friends with her. After talking to him, I found out they had been having unprotected sex for the last 2 weeks, and that she had told him that her and I were just friends. Now thats at least 3 guys i know of she's been having unprotected sex with (including me). And I suspect many more, based on hints she had dropped about guys being 'in love with her'. My friend is scared, because I told him she was crazy and might have HIV, but he's still talking to her, probably hoping I'm wrong and then he can still see her and have sex with her. She is very pretty, very smart, and has an air of mystery, so I understand where he's coming from. She has already started to manipulate his emotions, I can tell. A couple days after I found out about him and told him everything, I got this text message from her at almost the same time she called him to see if he wanted to have sex (I don't think he said anything to her about me knowing, he called me to tell me she had called him and didnt know what to do):
"I'm curious to hear how your tests came back. I figure if I had any communicable 'scarlet woman' diseases, you'd already be up in my face about my malicious promiscuity. I'll assume if I don't hear from you that you're content to keep ignoring me for the rest of your days."
Believe it or not, I now think that she had my cell phone hacked to intercept phone calls, listen in on my conversations, and get my text messages and emails. There are too many coincidences like this where she knows what I'm doing, what Ive said to other people, certain timings, etc. I also belive she has made a copy of my house and car key, and has been sending me 'warnings' by messing with my lights or unlocking my doors, both in my house and car ever since I mentioned on the phone to a couple people that I suspect whats going on, I'm not playing along, and I'm thinking of going to the police. I really feel like I'm in the middle of some incredibly scary game. The worst part is I have a suspicion she is not alone. I believe she has a partner in this. Also, I talked to the girl I thought said she had AIDS in the class. It wasnt her. It may have been the girl I've been seeing, who let me continue thinking the other girls said it.
At the six week mark I went to get a western blot antibody test and I had another viral load test. The doctor didnt even examine me, he just re-iteated that the test I had at 15 days was definitive, and all my symptoms were anxiety. He didn't even want to listen, just said he would give me the test so I could move forward because I was not infected. The viral load came back negative. I'm still waiting for the western blot. I know she has travelled extensively, and one of the people I suspect her of having sex with is a professor who's specialty is working hands on with the West African AIDS epidemic. I don't know Whether he may have given it to her, or is another victim. There are several other people I suspect she has slept with, mostly from comments she's made.
What is going on here? Is there a chance that the viral load isn't picking up an odd strain? My symptoms are starting to lessen, would antibodies now be detectable? Are they detectable no matter the strain? I have no evidence to go to the police with, but if it's all true she is putting people in danger, and specifically my friends because I believe it is part of her game with me. What should I do?
PS: I know there is absolutely a component of this all that is anxiety/stress. Please do not insult or make fun of me, I obviously either am in a terrible position or have a mental problem brought on by this. Please don't make bets on which it is, its not nice and I'm looking for help.