Firstly I want to clarify that I am completely aware the situation I am in is of my own doing. I was very stupid and now have to live with the consequences. That said, I am petrified and the anxiety is really taking hold of me and I can't think about anything else.
13 days ago I had unprotected receptive anal sex with a white gay man (don't know his status) in a London sauna. He ejaculated inside me and there was no bleeding on my part (nor any other evidence of trauma or pain).
I was tested for HIV in July and was clear. This is he only time I've had unprotected sex since then but I've convinced myself I must have been infected. I've been reading every website on the topic and am now in a real state where it's impacting my mood at work and home. I haven't shown any symptoms yet but think the anxiety is now making me think I am getting a sore throat.
I have researched the risk factor and see it is around 1/1112 for receptive unprotected sex with someone of unknown status. I know it's much higher for sex with someone who is HIV positive.
To make it worse I have a partner of 3 years. We have always been tested together and are both negative. I feel so much guilt and think the thought of losing my BF is scaring me more than anything. Our next test is in 5 weeks time (which will be 7 weeks after my potential exposure).
I am genuinely aware that I'm an idiot but please be assured I am not in a good frame of mind. It has taken a lot to post and really hope to not get judged but find some genuine support through this difficult time.
Hiya, well we are not here to judge buddy, just give advise and support. you are naturally aware you had a risk and need to test out till 3 months although taking a test at 6 weeks will give you a good indication of your status. until then i can only say try and get busy with other things that take your mind off this exposure.