HIV test tomorrow
Brace yourself because this more than likely going to be a novel. As a teenager I wasn't a very good girl. I did a lot of drinking, I did a lot of partying, but NEVER any hard drugs. I was more worried about having fun and enjoying life than taking care of myself which I should have been. When I was about 16-17 years old my mother and I got a tattoo out of someones house. I know what you're thinking, "Oh my lord, how irresponsible, I bet this family is real trashy!" But that's not how it is. I have a great, respectable family and I wish I would have listened to them more. He did use a needle out of a sterile package so thank god for that. My best friend and I use to pierce outselves with the same needle when we were younger. Later on in life I find out he's gay. FML. Then again, I get another tattoo out of someone elses house. I cant remember if it came out of a sterile package. Those arent really either of the particular instances where I think I might have contracted HIV (which I dont really think I have it but god do I stress about it) I've had lots of sex partners. Not lots like 50+. Id say about 17. I would like to say all of them were protected but they werent. crap. Not all of them were unprotected but a few were. I wish I could go back but I cant. Since I've been 18 I've been with my fiance. I'll be 22 next Wednesday. When I was 18 I gave blood to the Red Cross and they never called or told me that anything was wrong. Is that a positive thing? Could that mean I am negative? Wishful thinking I guess. Honestly, what do you think the possibility of me having HIV is? Is it high? Take into consideration that I did give blood and nothing came back crazy. I got tested once a few years back at my local health department and I never went to see the results. Would they have kept calling if something was wrong? Im so nervous I cant handle it anymore. Ive put this off for too long. I just worry if I am positive, how the hell would I tell my fiance? I know he would freak out. I think he'd leave and I just cant fathom losing him. We've been having unprotected sex for 2-3 years...
Help ease my mind. Please tell me something positive. Tell me anything.