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Old 12-27-2002, 07:41 AM   #1
Dan&cheryl
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Post Hospice Nurse says it won't be long now

They say we should be saying what needs to be said and that it's time to think about where he will die. Dannys family from out of town will be coming today and I will probably leave the house for a BREAK.
My younger daughter agrees with me about when he dies not being in the house and my older daughter says where would I want to die. I tried to tell her not where it will make my husband see me laying there dead every day of his life. Danny knows me and he said it was almost time to go to the hospital...
I need prayers...and something to take the swelling away from my eyes so I can see...


 
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Old 12-27-2002, 11:01 PM   #2
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cheryl,

there is nothing i can really say at this difficult time. it must be so upsetting for you. do what is most comfortable for you and your husband. do say everything and anything you want right now to him. i know your heart is breaking, and i feel it with you. know that in the next few days and months, i am here for you, and am thinking of you, and praying for your strength and for your well-being. i am walking beside you on this terrible journey, and although i cannot promise it will get easier, you are not alone. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

 
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Old 12-29-2002, 01:06 AM   #3
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Hi Cheryl,

Well let him go at the hospital - you said he knows you and if you cannot live in that house if he dies there, then don't allow that. It is up to YOU AND DAN ONLY - NOT HOSPICE. I am very sorry for what you are going through. I will be where you are at one day and I don't know when that time will be, but I am quite positive it will be in the year 2003 as Bob is stage four too. He is doing well now - actually going to a Browns game tomorrow. Gemzar is working well for him. I am still scared to death...cuz I will be in your shoes one day and I am besides myself w/fear and sorrow.

Words cannot express the sorrow I feel for you. Hang tough and know that soon his pain will be over and he will be in a better place and you will get through this...we both will get through this, we have to - they would want us to go on. I would suggest finding a grief counselor NOW and preparing to see him/her for a bit when the time comes and find some grief support group meetings as I hear they are SO comforting and they DO help you get through the death of a spouse. I know how you feel - I too cannot even BELIEVE Bob has stage four lung cancer!! It still blows me away!

{{{HUGS}}} and Blessings for you and Dan...be strong and spend your time together in a loving, calm, peaceful way. Hold his hand and see him through this - smile and make him feel at ease and feel as if he can let go and you will be OK. I read that on a Hospice web site - preparing for the end. They said what to do and what not to do and I memorized it.

God Bless and Hang tough...I am VERY sorry Cheryl.

Mary

 
Old 12-29-2002, 05:57 AM   #4
plc plc is offline
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cheryl, my prayers are with you. I have just begun this nightmare with my husband. I have been reading your posts, and only hope I can be as strong as you.Once again I will pray for you and your family. plc

 
Old 12-30-2002, 06:20 PM   #5
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LeisaH HB UserLeisaH HB User
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Cheryl, Let Dan tell you when it is time to go to the hospital. He is the best measure. Mom decided when to go, and although she spent almost 4 months between the hospital and the hospice, it was the best for her and dad. I know that mom is around you both as when I was with her I often spoke about you and Mary. Good Luck.

 
Old 12-31-2002, 11:46 AM   #6
Dan&cheryl
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This week-end was so busy that I'm trying to rest up. Danny is now holding his own...Home still.

 
Old 01-10-2003, 12:59 PM   #7
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I also ask God's Sweetest Comfort and Blessings on you and your family. I am following in your footsteps with my husband. I expect before spring gets here. I send you my Christian love, Donna

 
Old 01-22-2003, 05:47 AM   #8
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dan&cheryl, prayers go out to you and yours. Please don't get angry for what I'm saying. I don't know how close you are to your dad, but please reconsider where he will be when he passes. My dad, who lived out of state, had to die in a hospital, alone. My mom, who lived with us, died here in the house, with hospice and family, in the same room we sleep in. For some people, they just can't deal with the actual passing, but to us, it was almost as beautiful as birth. So peaceful and a lot of love. Don't get me wrong, it was also wrenchingly sad, and my eyes were swollen up from crying. I still feel close to my mother's memory, and I guess for some folks, sleeping in the same room where someone passed is too much for them.
Well, my prayers are with you in yours in this difficult time. Try to remember the good times, and God Bless...

 
Old 01-22-2003, 09:08 AM   #9
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My father-in-law has also decided to die surrounded by loved ones in his house. I don't think it will be long now, maybe a few weeks at most. I am glad that he has chosen home over hospital, it is a more serene and comfortable place.

 
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