Will Hospice Intervene? - Hospice Message Board

NancyEllen · 04-24-2003, 06:16 PM

My father, thank god, sounds so much better. They surgically put a stunt in his neck this morning to get the antibiotics into his system. They couldn't get to his veins anymore. They are talking about him coming home either this weekend or the beginning of the week. He knows he is going to die of cancer and has made the decision that the chemo is done. I am just wondering, my mother refuses to have anything to do with my aunt and me (this is new in the last two weeks because I wouldn't do what she told me to do, I am 46!!). She will definately keep us out of her house, yet she does not want to take care of my father. When does Hospice step in and will they intervene to at least let me help take care of my father?

Nancy

mrsdlash · 04-24-2003, 07:37 PM

Hello, I don't know as much as others do. But, what happened with me was my children did not understand when the dr wanted to give my husband IV's to hydrate him and blood transfusion also. I knew that would increase the fluid in and around his lungs and make him worse faster. Probaly would kill him quickly.
I said NO...to the treatments and the kids wanted to do it. My husband was seeming to be able to understand what was going on...but, I had spent all of the time with him and I knew he didn't know what was happening.
Well, the treatments was done. I told Hospice. I asked them for help..fearing it happening again. The nurse agreed to come and talk with my children and explain things to them. They understood and agreed with her and me, but it was one day too late!
My husband was good for a few days but then his lungs filled up and he was drowning! '
He was not expected to make it another week at all. It was horrible. I made his funeral arrangements and lots of people came and said their good byes he was so far gone!
Praise the Lord he pulled through..to everyone's surprise. Now he is back to that same stage. But this time.......we did not cause it to happen.
So, yes, Hospice will be pleased to talk to anyone willing to lisen.
I got my children's respect on decision makeing now.
I wish you the help you need __I am so sorry you have such struggles , when your heart is breaking.
, hugs and prayers, Donna

04-24-2003, 11:36 PM

Hi you two. Danny's oncologist told us "it's time to call Hospice, we will get in touch with them for you". A social worker and a nurse came to interview us. They asked a zillion questions, including stuff about family support. They wanted Danny's opinion about whether I could take care of him or did I need full time help. I hope that your dad tells the hospice people to include you. Also If they don't think your mom can do it they may step in and get extra help even if she isn't all that happy with it.
It's not bad enough all this cancer stuff is happening, there has to be family trouble too. I'm still waiting for my mother to tell me she's sorry about Danny. I guess she's not worth my trouble.
I hope you do get to spend time with your dad though, my girls cherish the last time they saw Danny. For some reason they actually sat and talked with him instead of the "Hi & Bye" they usually did.
Getting teary again.
Hugs back to you both.
Cheryl

HoosierBj · 04-25-2003, 08:26 AM

Someone will need to initiate the contact with Hospice and it is a really good idea for your father's Primary Care Physician or Oncologist to do the initiating. Most insurance carriers will approve payment only if a doctor has stated that the patient has around 6 months left.

And you are right, no one can really know this for sure - but Insurance companies do need this criteria and a few others met before they will pay for Hospice services under most policies.

And I just want to tell you that all the process you may go through to get to Hospice is worth it. They are simply wonderful and were a Godsend to my mother and us kids. They were listed as a Memorial in my Dad's obituary and several of us still contribute yearly out of sheer appreciation and gratitude for all they did to make my Dad's death seem more like a part of his life.

krissykjw · 04-25-2003, 09:55 PM

Hi, Usually your oncologist will let you know when it is time to call hospice. I can't say enough about hospice. They were really there for me and my aunt. Anything you needed they took care of it. I was in contact with them constantly. They will explain everything to you and if your not clear on something, they will explain it until you are. They were and still are a great moral support. If you can, I would get in touch with them asap. Good luck Your in my thoughts and prayers. Krissy