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Old 09-24-2005, 04:36 PM   #1
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Unhappy How accurate is hospice?

How accurate is hospice? The hospice nurse was here on Friday and basically said that she thinks my mom will be confined to her bed by the first of November and she thinks that we will be lucky to have her until Thanksgiving. But my mom has been doing better this last week. We took her to the funeral home to make her plans (her idea not ours) and we took her to the mall to get her hair done (in a wheelcahir with oxygen in tow). However, she has started to sleep a lot and is still not eating much at all. I believe the hospice nurse probably knows better than anyone but I was just wondering what others have experienced with this situation.

Thank you for your responses in advance

Melissa

 
Old 09-24-2005, 05:22 PM   #2
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Re: How accurate is hospice?

Hum.. its odd to me that she voiced her opinion like that. I can't get Hospice to give me an opinion. They just keep telling me that there is no sure way to know and that everyone is different. Maybe they know but isnt saying? My mom has small cell lung cancer. The doctors gave her less than a month about a month ago. She is still able to get up and go to the restroom. A little slow at it but stilll trucking along. All I keep hearing is that everyone is different and there is no way to really tell how a person will react to thier illness. Can you tell me more about your Mom's condition? I'm curious if she is in the same stages as mine.

Prayers for you,

Molly

 
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Old 09-25-2005, 06:38 AM   #3
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Re: How accurate is hospice?

I'm sorry to hear about your mom. This a very hard thing to watch isn't it. My mom is stage IV nsclc. The doctor said she has it "peppered in her chest cavity" and in her spine between t-10 and t-11. They said she was not a candidate for chemo because it would kill her faster. She has lost about 40 pounds since August 2. But she is still up and about however, she has started sleeping a lot. She is on oxygen most of the time. Her throat will not let her eat it gets stuck she says. She has been less confused lately but has wanted to get all of her planning taken care of. So I am not sure about what hospice thinks with her time. I flat out asked them about her so maybe you can try the same and tell them not to sugar coat it. I guess they know, but I was just wondering and I guess hoping that others would have different experiences. I hope this helps. Thanks for your reply

Keep your chin up and I will pray for you and your family
Melissa

 
Old 09-25-2005, 09:32 AM   #4
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Re: How accurate is hospice?

when my grandfather died from this disease hospice whas there and i dont think that our family would have been able to get through it with out them. I think very highly of them. this disease is very quick and changes over night. i would say if your mom is feeling well right now and enjoying getting her hair done do everything you can to enjoy yourselfs and what you have. and the nurse isnt god she can give her opinion but nobody really knows the future so enjoy today just dont let your gaurd down to what can happen in the future.
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Melissa
ectopic Feb 2005
miscarriage June 2005
Jackson James born March 8th 2006

 
Old 09-26-2005, 04:58 PM   #5
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Re: How accurate is hospice?

We started out with a hospice nurse that was obnoxious....she was way to hyper for the condition my dad was in. My dad was diagnosed last Oct 2004 with lung cancer and passed away in April 2005. The doc told us at the point we should have hospice come in....like I said, the first nurse did not work out and it just so happened that one day she was off and we had a fill in nurse. He was the best so I contact hospice and told them I wanted him as my dad's nurse. It just so happened he lived on the next street from my dad and my dad felt so comfortable with him. He was honest and told us my dad had about a few weeks left. He was right. They see this everyday and can tell the signs. The only thing I can tell you is to spend as much quality time you can with your mom. I was able to do that with my dad but not with my mom. My mom died unexpectantly. My mom was 57 and my dad was 60. My thoughts are with you

 
Old 09-28-2005, 09:13 PM   #6
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Re: How accurate is hospice?

Thank you all for your responses. My sister has to leave tomorrow and I am moving in with Mom. I went a head and filled out the family medical leave act with work so I can be off and care for her for the duration. People that have never been through this cannot understand how I can just leave work. I look at it this way. I only have a few weeks left with my mom. I have given 8 loyal years to this company.. they can do without me for a few weeks. God will provide what I need as far as my finances. I dont want any regrets when she is gone like, I should have done this or I wish I would have done that.

Hospice will be here in the morning. I will talk with them again. Like tmarie said.. they see this every day. They know the signs. Im sure they can give me some sort of a time frame.

Thank you again all and God bless you,
Molly

 
Old 09-29-2005, 06:03 PM   #7
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Re: How accurate is hospice?

i dont want to be pushy or anything but i have some bible verses that really really helped me through dealing with my grandfather's illness and what followed and if you would like to have them i would be more than happy to give them to you just let me know i dont want to give you something that well you may not like
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Melissa
ectopic Feb 2005
miscarriage June 2005
Jackson James born March 8th 2006

 
Old 09-30-2005, 11:21 AM   #8
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Re: How accurate is hospice?

Polbilly
I am a believer! I just bought my mom "The purpose driven life" book. I would love to read the scripture that helped you through your difficult time.

Melissa

 
Old 09-30-2005, 08:31 PM   #9
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Re: How accurate is hospice?

well this is a letter that my minister wrote me the last week of my grandfathers life and it really comforted me to know that he wasnt going to "die" but he was going to live eternal life with God. i hope that this touches you the way it did me

scripture is Hebrews 2:9
"But we see Jesus, who was made a little lower than the angels for
the suffering of death, crowned with glory and honour; that he by
the grace of God should taste death for every man."

Death. It's not a popular topic--even among believers. In fact, a
great many are just plain scared of it. Oh yes, they talk about having
eternal life. Yet when the devil tries to threaten their earthly survival
with sickness or calamity, they panic.
Why? Because they haven't learned to look at death through God's
eyes. Even though their spirit has been made immortal, they haven't
renewed their minds to include that truth. If they had, when the devil
tried to push their panic button, they'd just laugh and say, "You can't
scare me, devil. I've done all the dying I'm ever going to do!"
That's true, you know. The Word of God says that you, as a born-again
believer, are never going to see death (John 8:51). Jesus has been
your substitute. He suffered death, so you wouldn't have to. And
when He was raised, Hebrews 2:14-15 says, "He destroyed him that
had the power of death, that is, the devil; And delivered them who
through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage."
__________________
Melissa
ectopic Feb 2005
miscarriage June 2005
Jackson James born March 8th 2006

 
Old 09-30-2005, 08:48 PM   #10
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Soulcatcher HB User
Re: How accurate is hospice?

My husband treats cancer and he can also give an estimate on patients. He doesn't of course, that's not his place. I'm not sure why this nurse said that to you because if you were already told it was terminal that's all you need. It's nice that you took off of work to be with her. After all, she spent her life taking care of you right? Good daughter. I hope you share treasured moments together and say everything you need to say. We are here for you, lean on us when you need to. Don't forget that angels are in the room with you and you can talk to them too. Lots of love to you and your mother.

 
Old 10-03-2005, 05:44 PM   #11
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Re: How accurate is hospice?

My dad's hospice nurse gave us an estimate because we had not yet made funeral arrangements. I am thankful he did.....

 
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