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Old 12-13-2006, 09:53 AM   #1
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ellengrace HB User
Now hospice in-patient care.......

Hi, everyone

Have been really sick for a while lately, on third round of antibiotics for bladder infection which took hold last month. Haven't been able to eat, even sips of water made me nauseous. Haven't been out of bed for more than a few minutes at a time. Earlier this week I called my doctor and insisted on the third course of strong antibiotics...no more "wait and see" or "still slight infection in urine" or any more hesitancy. I'm the one in agony while they wait for change. Some improvement on new meds, but I'm just flattened right now.

Anyway, didn't think I'd make it to my weekly session at hospice day-care today, felt too ill but made superhuman effort this morning.....effort fuelled largely by fear of having to be admitted to general hospital as an acute case...worried about dehydration, malnutrition, no bowel movement in over a week plus the infection. And the growth of the mass in my neck and throat has been alarming in this past week or two, I've got a neck like Hermann Munster or Frankenstein!! Difficult moving, turning, sleeping, holding head up. The skin on my shoulder has broken down because of my not moving in bed, or lying awkwardly because of the neck thing. Lost a lot more body mass, too, but stomach still swollen and sore. And these cutaneous mets are sprouting up all over the place, and growing fast.

So hospice doctor wants me to come in....no bed available today or he'd have kept me today. The hospice will call tomorrow or Friday for me to go in. The doctor said I'll have to stay in hospice over Christmas as he'll need a couple of weeks to sort me out, and he wants radiation for my neck as soon as possible, for starters.

I'm relieved... I feel safe in hospice. I had two weeks in general hospital immediately after diagnosis Aug/September and I wouldn't want to repeat that experience and the thought/memory of that has been frightening me just lately.

I feel too ill to care much about Christmas for myself. They don't have an internet access at hospice, so I won't be able too keep up with you folk. Anyhow, will post again before I'm admitted.

You are all in my prayers

ellengrace.

 
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Old 12-13-2006, 11:53 AM   #2
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jeaniek HB User
Re: Now hospice in-patient care.......

ellengrace,
I am so sorry to hear that you are not feeling well. We have not worked with hospice yet, but from all the threads I've read they seem very kind, loving and caring, and I would imagine they have a way of making patients comfortable. I will pray that the radiation treatments will work fast for you...radiation worked well for my dad and quickly also.
I wanted to thank you for the advice you gave in my last post also, yes, it did help a lot. It was wonderful to hear a point of view from someone who is experiencing this.
Stay strong, think positive and please know we'll be pullin for you here.
Jeanie

Last edited by jeaniek; 12-13-2006 at 12:04 PM.

 
Old 12-13-2006, 02:21 PM   #3
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HELLASRULES HB UserHELLASRULES HB User
Re: Now hospice in-patient care.......

ElllenGrace
I am so sorry you have been so ill with the infection, but glad they will take care of you in hospice so you can get to feeling better in a good, caring safe place. Right from the start I was impressed by your attitude, bravery and caring for everyone else who visits here. My thoughts and prayers have been with you since I first came here. You are an inspiration to us all.
I know how you feel about Chritsmas, as I too feel the same. I certainly hope & pray the radiation will help you soon, and you can be back at home.
I hope when I get out of the hospital from having the largest brain tumor removed next Wednesday, that I will come here and find you feeling so much better.
Until then you take care, and many many prayers are coming your way.
God Bless You
Hellas (aka Faith)

 
Old 12-13-2006, 04:40 PM   #4
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Janmarie2 HB User
Re: Now hospice in-patient care.......

EllenGrace,

I am sorry to hear that you still are not feeling well and will pray that hospice can get you feeling better ASAP. It will be nice for you to have someone taking care of you until you feel better and being in a place you feel safe.

I will miss your posting as I always enjoy hearing what you have to say. I am so impressed that you have been feeling like you have been yet are still posting and sharing with all of us. When I was at home I could always tell how my mom was feeling by the length or sometimes the lack of E-mail from her. If I did not hear from her or it was short I knew her energy was at an all time low like when she developed her tooth infection. So you really do impress me.

I will send lots of prayers your way that they can get that infection wiped out , do away with some of those sub cutaneous mets and that the radiation shrinks the mass in your neck.You take care and I pray that in a few weeks you are back home and once again posting here.(((HUGS))) Janmarie

 
Old 12-13-2006, 06:31 PM   #5
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conan1017 HB User
Re: Now hospice in-patient care.......

Ellen-

I just echo everything Janmarie and others have said. I just wish there was something more we could do to support you. I just marvel when I read your posts ...1.) that you are posting and 2.) that you still have such a sweet spirit. I will most certianly be praying for you before I turn in tonight.

peace and grace,

conan

 
Old 12-13-2006, 10:45 PM   #6
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ellengrace HB User
Re: Now hospice in-patient care.......

Thank you for such kind words and concern, all of you.

Becoming part of this community has helped me more than I can find words to say and I cannot now imagine how I would have coped without.

We are drawn into each others' lives and thoughts, and lose the sense of aloneness that comes with this disease.

For so many of us here, this is he only place we feel we can open up and talk about living with cancer.
That's how I feel, and I'm grateful to all who share so honestly and allow me to do the same.

 
Old 12-14-2006, 08:31 AM   #7
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Re: Now hospice in-patient care.......

Ellengrace,
I will miss seeing your postings and what you share with all of us. Here you are fighting the terrible disease and you are positng to us and lifting our spirits! You have touched me in many ways and I pray you will beat the infection and get some TLC and reduce the mass with your neck. I think it is good you have someplace to be during the Holidays to rest, but for selfish reasons it would be nice to have you at home with Internet access! But...you get better and you will be back home posting to us soon! When you are at the Hospice home, just remember all of at the posting board are cheering for you and wanting you back ASAP!
Big Hugs and Prayers and,
Kim

 
Old 12-14-2006, 08:34 AM   #8
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Re: Now hospice in-patient care.......

P.S.
You also hold a special part of me because my middle name is Ellen! I don't meet many people with that name! And I have always loved the name Grace! BIG HUGS!
Kimberly Ellen (I use Kim since Kimberly is so long with my last name!)

 
Old 12-14-2006, 11:32 AM   #9
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pjoi4 HB User
Re: Now hospice in-patient care.......

Hello Ellengrace,

Sorry to hear you are not feeling well and you still have the time to read and post replies to all my crazy situations. My prayers are with you and I wish nothing but the best for you during these tough times. Thanks for making me feel human with your posts. I hope you get the opportunity to access the internet to post.

God Bless You and I will keep you in my daily prayers.

Renea
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Last edited by pjoi4; 12-14-2006 at 11:33 AM.

 
Old 12-14-2006, 11:47 AM   #10
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ladyj2 HB User
Re: Now hospice in-patient care.......

Dear Ellengrace,

Your mother appropriately named you...a beautiful name, a beautiful person...you certainly are a living example of grace. I rarely post here but I have followed your posts and I think about you daily. I hope your stay in hospice is short and we hear from you soon.....maybe you could coax one of the hospice workers on their off time to give us an update??? Take care and God bless.....

 
Old 12-14-2006, 09:42 PM   #11
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Re: Now hospice in-patient care.......

You are such a dear, sweet person, I hope you find relief at Hospice. God bless you and I will keep you in my prayers.

Hugs,
Cindy

 
Old 12-15-2006, 10:56 AM   #12
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pidypat HB User
Re: Now hospice in-patient care.......

Dear EllenGrace
i,m sorry to hear that your infection has gotten worst.
i will miss reading you posts.you have been such an inspiration for me.feels like i have known you for years.you know that warm feeling.
hospice will give you more personal care.
BLESS YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS JR.MEMBER
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breathless

 
Old 12-15-2006, 10:56 AM   #13
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pidypat HB User
Re: Now hospice in-patient care.......

Dear EllenGrace
i,m sorry to hear that your infection has gotten worst.
i will miss reading you posts.you have been such an inspiration for me.feels like i have known you for years.you know that warm feeling.
hospice will give you more personal care.
BLESS YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS JR.MEMBER
__________________
breathless

Last edited by pidypat; 12-15-2006 at 01:23 PM. Reason: duplicate

 
Old 12-16-2006, 04:27 AM   #14
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Cee10 HB User
Re: Now hospice in-patient care.......

Ellengrace, I hope you are home again feeling so much more comfortable when you read this and that you received the TLC you so deserve in the Hospice.

My prayers are with you,
God Bless You Ellengrace you are such a special person.

Cee

 
Old 12-16-2006, 05:45 PM   #15
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ellengrace HB User
Re: Now hospice in-patient care.......

Thank you, every single one of you, for your kind words; they mean so much.

The Hospice couldn't take me in on Friday. No bed available. They can't promise Monday, but hope they can get me in. I've been feeling worse and worse, and need to be in hospice care just now, so would you please all say a big prayer for that special intention?

Thank you.

 
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