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Old 07-16-2008, 12:28 PM   #1
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Unhappy can someone tell me about hospice?

My mom found out last week she has mestatic bone cancer and lung cancer. The official biopsy results haven't been given to us yet, but we were told it was pretty bad. The bone cancer is in numerous places. They don't know where the cancer originally started, and there has been NO talk of radiation or chemo. My mom's doctor had home heath evaulate her. The nurse said what they would do would not help her. She recommended hospice, and my mom's doctor agreed. Hospice is coming to interview my mom tomorrow. My dad is doubtful that my mom will qualify. Everything I have read is that you need a "6 months or less" time frame, which we do not have -- yet. My mom is almost bed ridden with pain and is pretty much home bound. Her legs are so weak. She is bladder/bowel incontenent. She barely eats and vomits often. My mom is very confused, seeing things that aren't there, which has led me to believe it has spread to her brain. She's short of breath and is so thin and very frail. She can not bathe herself, change her clothes, or do anything. About the ONLY thing she can do on her own is feed herself. She tells everyone "the time is near." WE know she is probably dying. If she is denied hospice, I don't know what we will do because there is no one to help care for her.

So, does this sound like something hospice will step in and help? And what exactly will hospice do? This is all so sudden, very shocking, and new, so we are unsure about everything.

 
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Old 07-16-2008, 01:34 PM   #2
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Re: can someone tell me about hospice?

It sounds to me like your Mom will qualify for Hospice. Most Drs. work with Hospice and if he recommended for you to call, then he probably feels she will benefit from their care. I'm so sorry for you and your family. May God help you to be strong.

 
Old 07-16-2008, 03:19 PM   #3
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imjensmom HB User
Re: can someone tell me about hospice?

Bayou, I'm sooo sorry about your mom. Hospice is wonderful. They will help you and your dad care for your mom at home. They have nurses that will help you with her medication and they usually have home health care workers that will help bath her. If you need a hospital bed for her, they will get it for you. They will answer your questions on what is happening and what may happen in the near future. They can't take away your heartache but they can remove some of the fear.

 
Old 07-16-2008, 06:53 PM   #4
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eblguim HB User
Re: can someone tell me about hospice?

Hospice is a life saver. We had their care while my husband was dying and they made everything much easier for all of us. If the doctor thinks she should have hospice, I don't think they will deny it.
Good luck.

 
Old 07-16-2008, 09:15 PM   #5
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Re: can someone tell me about hospice?

I certainly do think she would qualify for hospice. My dad died of cancer also - he was given 6-12 months to live. After 7 months of trying to fight the cancer, he was finally turned over to hospice after the chemo quit working. For 2 weeks hospice came to our house and helped give him baths, gave him pain medicine if needed, answered any questions we had, and just made those last days as comfortable as possible for him. I'm so sorry about what your mom, you, and your family are going through right now. I know how it feels.

 
Old 07-17-2008, 08:14 PM   #6
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Re: can someone tell me about hospice?

Hospice is one of the best home care systems for patients with cancer that is terminal or other medical conditions in which they will never recover the nurse offer suppost to you and your mom , they have counselors that will come out and speak to you the dr even makes the home visit , they have after death counseling that is offered for as long as you need it the home health aids will clean and pamper her and they will teach you what you need to know how to care for her when they are not there along with a lot of phone number available for you to call when you need the help great organization
I am so sorry for what you are going thru but 3 years ago my mom had 6 weeks to live she had metastatic bone cancer that was everywhere and it was also metastized in the liver and the brain mom had breast cancer that came back out oif remission her time was short and
i am so happy that hospice was there to help me take care of her,
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To live my life to its fullest and to put all my trust in God.

Last edited by delrae4753; 07-17-2008 at 08:15 PM.

 
Old 07-17-2008, 08:49 PM   #7
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Re: can someone tell me about hospice?

I am so sorry what you are going through. I went through the same thing with my mother, it is so devistating. I know when my mother wasn't eating and was in very very bad pain, she was in the hospital and when the doctor said that there was nothing else he could do for her, my father had gotten my mother transferred to a cancer hospital. The doctor said in the first hospital she was in that my mother was lucky if she had 2 weeks left, that is why we had her transferred. The cancer hospital she went to had her on IV's because she couldn't eat or drink and she was in constant pain and had to be on morphine. It was like hospice. They were making her comfortable. My mother had radiation treatments to her brain, because that is where they first spotted the cancer. After they did a cat scan of her chest is when they found a tiny lesion on her left lung. The doctors were saying that they couldn't believe that the tiny lesion on her lung was doing that to her brain. Anyway she started 6 months of chemo to her chest and anywhere else there was cancer. At the time she was taking chemo it was supposedly only in her left lung, so we thought if she took the chemo, it would get rid of the cancer there. I do remember after she had 15 treatments of radiation to her brain, she had blood clots in her leg and in her lung, so she was put on cumadin and I believe she had to wait like one month before she started the chemo. I keep thinking that if they started the chemo sooner it might have not spread to her bones, but I don't know if that is true or not. I do know not even being off the chemo for one week, that the pet scan showed that it was in her left jaw bone and also in her L2 and L3 and also back in her chest. I think that the cancer started in her bones first and then spread to her brain and lung. I know that my mother had back pain for a few years and she thought it was from when she used to work in a medical group picking up the heavy files. She aslo had bad pains in her knees too. She did have alot of pain in her left hip too, but that wasn't there from years ago. Did your mother have any other cancer before they found the bone and lung cancer? How old is your mother? My mother was 70 yrs.old. I will keep your mother and family in my prayers. Please keep me posted. Take care. Blueeyes

 
Old 11-07-2008, 09:29 AM   #8
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Re: can someone tell me about hospice?

Oct.24 of this year my mama died she I think had a major stroke. She had been unable to walk for sometime we put her in hopsice and they kept her comfortable this means no pain. they gave her anything she wanted if she asked for it. They told us they have greive conselors and can help us through it but I have been through this a time or two with my hubands family, so I can't tell you of this I live in NC and my mother and father is in PA. there gave my mother moriphine every hour and she had 50 mg of fentynal patch on her. She took the morphine up to a hour before she died. they were trying to get it under control she was in hopsice for a month.

I would recomend it. They can tell when someone is to die the signs of it but not everyone is the same. ABout a week before my mother died I asked of what colour her feet were my husbands mothers feet were blue and she died not long after that less then 24 hours I ask them to look at mom's feet she hasd a bluish tint she was close but I thought she had more time but I feel she had another stroke which took her. I am glad her suffering has ended she is no longer in pain and can walk when you loved one died I know you will miss them so but be glad for they are not as they were on earth the are released from there life and have nothing wrong with them anymore. I am happy mom is no longer in pain. Death is a part of life it is the begining of another life a better life with only happiness.

The night after we were to the funeral I had ear plugs in my husband snores and earplugs were in place I heard my mother call my name there is no way I heard anyone else all was asleep earplugs in the way they should be. my husband says I was dreaming I don't know but I have heard this of others they heard their name called by the loved one or sometimes out of the conner of your eye you actaully see them I don't demiss this I believe you are hearinf and seeing true. why would they come back?

Rhayden

 
Old 11-25-2008, 08:47 AM   #9
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Re: can someone tell me about hospice?

I was not impressed with hospice. They were all about pain medication. Even when my mom wasn't in pain, they wanted to dope her on pain meds. Some of the nurses were very sweet while others were nasty Nurse Ratched type characters. I was at hospice with my mom through the whole dying process. Not once did anyone offer any kind of emotional support. I kept hearing how "hospice is there for the family as well as the patient". I say bully to that!

I got a call two days after my mom died and was asked how I was. I said "horrible. I'm very, very depressed and really need to speak to someone." She said that a hospice councilor would call me the next day. That was over a week ago.

If I had money, I would've just hired a home health care nurse and let my mom die at home around her own things and far, far away from hospice.

Just my two cents.

 
Old 11-26-2008, 05:52 PM   #10
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Re: can someone tell me about hospice?

blueeyes62,

Don't second guess it will drive you nuts. I thought now for a while about mom and what we *might* of did for her. You know there is not much you can do when your family member has cancer. Cancer is a evil demon it doesn't see age or color. I feel for you. I thought if I was in PA ealier maybe mom would of been so bad but I also believe in fate. When your number is up it don't matter where you are and it may take a while for you to beleased from you life. I tried to help my son out and think on the good side as I hope you can be not sad be glad she is no longer in pain and now is starting a new life one we don't know anything about one that there is no pain for her no cancer just she is now fine and her body (if we have one in the next life) is perfect. I think about thinks when I am at a store things my son and I was to get her for specail days or holidays we no longer will have her with us in body. But I think she is better off she suffered for so long and this is what I look at no more pain and suffering.

blueeyes62 I am sorry for you and your family. Take one day at a time.

Rhayden

 
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