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Human Papillomavirus (HPV) Message Board
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Old 01-16-2004, 06:02 AM   #1
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have HPV, should I give up having any physical contact?

I've had the wart-variety HPV for some years now but don't think I have any warts anymore(although some warts hide). Because condoms and creams do not protect against passing it onto a partner, should I consider giving up having a sexual relationship with a prospective guy I'm dating so I don't give it to him? I don't want to infect anyone else, it's not right as some strains can lead to cancer and that's terrible! If so many people have this virus, then they should stop having sex to control it, shouldn't they?

 
Old 01-16-2004, 09:10 AM   #2
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Re: have HPV, should I give up having any physical contact?

The wart variety of HPV generally is not a cause of cancer although other strains are. SHould you give up on sex? Of course not. You probably should let your potential partner know about it though. Have your gynecologist do a thorough search for any hidden warts. Although you may still be infectious, the probability is much lower if you don't have any active warts. Again there are no certainties but talk with your doctor and ask him/her about it.

Last edited by sdp; 01-16-2004 at 09:10 AM.

 
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Old 01-20-2004, 09:01 AM   #3
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Re: have HPV, should I give up having any physical contact?

I do not want to give this to anyone and from reading about HPV, I WILL give it someone if I have intercourse, even with a condom on. And I can't run to a gyno every time I am in a position to have sex to check out warts. This is not a good thing to transfer to someone and the only solution is to stop having intercourse, I would think. If this virus is in so many people, how come they aren't abstaining from sex to stop passing it around? I'm extremely sorry to see my sex life leave for the rest of my life, but I'd rather see it go than to give someone the possiblity of cancer. Am I the only one who thinks this way? It's bad enough we get other kinds of cancer and we don't know why. At least we can control this kind of cancer-causing virus.

 
Old 01-20-2004, 09:53 AM   #4
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Re: have HPV, should I give up having any physical contact?

OK you didn't read what I said. The strain of HPV that you have does not cause cancer. Secondly, if your gyno says you are clear of any active warts, the risks of passing it on to someone else are reduced, not gone but reduced.

 
Old 01-26-2004, 04:02 PM   #5
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Re: have HPV, should I give up having any physical contact?

Aditi-

I know exactly how you feel. Last week my boyfriend went to the doctor to find out he had genital warts. I had noticed something months back but we thought nothing of it. It looked nothing like a normal wart but apparently they can have many different appearences. So now I'm thinking I more than likely have the virus (which is uncurable... ugh.) and I am wondering the same thing. I haven't had any warts yet but from the reading I've done that doesn't mean anything.

I don't know whether to stay with him or not. I love him so much but if possibly I haven't contracted the virus I don't want to. If I have then I guess we would be perfect together because we are both infected. But what if we end up breaking up? Then I will feel just like you. Yes, it may be common, but do we need to continue spreading it? As you say some strains are cancerous and I would never be able to live if I knew I was responsible for something like that. I too see the only solution to be no sex for the rest of my life. That sucks so bad to think about. Condoms, creams, etc, nothing works, it is always there and you can always infect others.

Just wanted you to know someone feels the same as you.

Inspirations

 
Old 01-27-2004, 07:13 AM   #6
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Re: have HPV, should I give up having any physical contact?

Thanks inspirations... It does bother me that we continue having sex despite all these diseases that are not curable and can cause death. I feel guilty now having sex for this reason only. But I think I am in the minority here. but it is good that someone else feels that way. It is too bad they cannot come up with a condom that stops this disease. I will probably give up sex because of it as the guilt is just too much. That is my choice; it's too bad so many others can't make that choice to save lives.

 
Old 01-27-2004, 07:59 AM   #7
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Re: have HPV, should I give up having any physical contact?

I was thinking last night about this whole issue and I think I have found a solution. Maybe giving up sex completely is the wrong thing to do. If you find someone who like you is infected with HPV then you cannot spread to each other what you both already have. That is the only thing that is comforting me. I know my boyfriend has it so I am almost 100% that I have been infected. Because of the number of times I have been exposed it would be close to impossible not to have it. So I'm not worrying about it too much now because if we are both infected than we can have sex until we are blue in the face and nothing bad will come of it. (Besides maybe some rawness. ) As far as if we ever split, then I think when thinking about being with a new partner just make sure I'm honest and see if they have it. If they don't then I'll stay away, but if they do I see no harm in it. What do you think? Definitely a better alternative than giving up sex forever. I can't imagine anyone who isn't getting sex for the rest of their life being a very happy person.

Maybe I am being naive because I know there are several different strains of it. But if neither of you have the cancerous strains (which I am sure they have a way of testing for if you are showing warts) then there would be no issues. Even if you both had different strains and infected each other with the different one it couldn't be any worse. You already have it regardless of what strain it is.

 
Old 01-27-2004, 09:58 PM   #8
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Re: have HPV, should I give up having any physical contact?

Quote:
Originally Posted by inspirations
... I can't imagine anyone who isn't getting sex for the rest of their life being a very happy person.
Hi... Just want to respond to your comment here by saying that I am such person and I'm very happy...I was diagnosed with a rare disease: vulvar vestibulitis [chronic inflammation that prevents penetration]. Months later, after more blighted expectations, I was informed that vulvar vestibulitis is incurable. Furthermore, I had been diagnosed with both HSV and HPV. I felt so depressed at the news of my diagnosis'...But as long as I was up-front/honest and gave someone a choice (something I didn't have), that is the best thing I could do. Sure enough, I found the man of my dreams who accepts me for who I am. We are now happily married.

I think when having any chronic incurable condition, the key to happiness is when you don't let it control you. Never let HPV define who you are. Never let sex define who you are either. You must believe you are a wonderful, beautiful person regardless of any disease. If you believe that, the right person will come along and treat you as such. I also agree with you that you can't catch the same disease twice; and if two people have the same disease, I think it's harmless if they have sex.

In response to the orig post, though you have HPV, Aditi, there's no reason you should be out of commission. Sex is a wonderful gift. But if you decide to abstain, just know that you will find a mate either way. There is much hope...Remember, it's your energy, mystery, and personality that makes you fascinating to the opposite sex, not some stretch of skin.

 
Old 01-28-2004, 10:27 AM   #9
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Re: have HPV, should I give up having any physical contact?

VERY WELL PUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last edited by KimRick; 01-28-2004 at 10:27 AM.

 
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