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Human Papillomavirus (HPV) Message Board
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Old 07-15-2004, 11:03 AM   #1
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chrislint3521 HB User
Unhappy Scared with HPV and telling husband???

Long story short: I was just recently diagnosed with HPV and cervical dysplesia. I had a biopsy and it wasn't cancerous, but now I have to do the freezing. We just got married 3 months ago and I just found this out. Now my husband has a couple on him and he thinks they're just pimples. I know they have to be HPV since I have it. He was married before and only been with his wife and they were virgins. He's messed around with other girls and I've been with other guys. I know he's going to think he got it from me and I'm afraid this will ruine our new marriage. Anyone have any advice on how to confront him with this? I'm so scared and embarrassed. We wanted to have kids right away and now we can't. He'll be devestated.

 
Old 07-15-2004, 11:25 AM   #2
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susieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB User
Re: Scared with HPV and telling husband???

Hi,
Did your doctor tell you that you couldn't have children??? I know some friends that have two kids and she had HPV.
Last year I had an abnormal pap smear that showed indications of HPV. It is much more common than you think and alot of women have it. It can actually lay dorment in your systems for years before appearing as an abnormal cell on a pap smear. I am sure you went through the colposcopy thing - I had to as well, but mine came back OK. My doctor also said that sometimes the HPV clears up on it's own. Mine actually did because this year my pap came back normal.
There's no telling where you got it. HPV was explained to me as a virus. It can also lead to cancerous cells. I, at first wanted to kill my husband because I thought,,,well,,,you know,,,maybe it was him messing around, but I know better than that. We have a wonderful relationship and marriage, and I knew that couldn't be the cause. That's when my doctor explained it to me. If I were you, I would do one of two things: Either have your doctor explain it to you in detail, outlining what it is, how you get it, all that stuff and then explain it to your husband. If that doesn't work, have your husband talk to your doctor. Has your doctor talked about additional treatments?

 
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Old 07-15-2004, 11:34 AM   #3
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Re: Scared with HPV and telling husband???

There is no telling who gave it to whom. Often men have no symptoms, or the virus can lay dormant and an outbreak occurs years later. I don't see why this would ruin your marriage, as neither of you are claiming to have been virgins. What would he be "devastated" over? As I said, he could have very well given it to you. And if you gave it to him, it's not like you knew you had it but didn't tell him.

 
Old 07-15-2004, 12:01 PM   #4
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Re: Scared with HPV and telling husband???

Quote:
Originally Posted by susieq0726
Hi,
Did your doctor tell you that you couldn't have children??? I know some friends that have two kids and she had HPV.
Last year I had an abnormal pap smear that showed indications of HPV. It is much more common than you think and alot of women have it. It can actually lay dorment in your systems for years before appearing as an abnormal cell on a pap smear. I am sure you went through the colposcopy thing - I had to as well, but mine came back OK. My doctor also said that sometimes the HPV clears up on it's own. Mine actually did because this year my pap came back normal.
There's no telling where you got it. HPV was explained to me as a virus. It can also lead to cancerous cells. I, at first wanted to kill my husband because I thought,,,well,,,you know,,,maybe it was him messing around, but I know better than that. We have a wonderful relationship and marriage, and I knew that couldn't be the cause. That's when my doctor explained it to me. If I were you, I would do one of two things: Either have your doctor explain it to you in detail, outlining what it is, how you get it, all that stuff and then explain it to your husband. If that doesn't work, have your husband talk to your doctor. Has your doctor talked about additional treatments?

No, she didn't tell me that. I've read lots of info. on it and haven't found anywhere were it says that. It's just going to take us longer then we expected since I'll have to recover from the colposcopy. My doctor told me it was very common and acted like it wasn't all that serious as long as you take care of it. Which is comforting to an extent. I will try my best to explain it to him what I have found out and if not, do what you said and have him talk to my doctor. I guess I just feel guilty that it was all me. Thanks for your help and suggestions!

 
Old 07-15-2004, 12:05 PM   #5
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Re: Scared with HPV and telling husband???

Quote:
Originally Posted by reni
There is no telling who gave it to whom. Often men have no symptoms, or the virus can lay dormant and an outbreak occurs years later. I don't see why this would ruin your marriage, as neither of you are claiming to have been virgins. What would he be "devastated" over? As I said, he could have very well given it to you. And if you gave it to him, it's not like you knew you had it but didn't tell him.

He was only with his 1st wife, but she had been with others before. So maybe he got it from her and it's just been dormant. There's no telling since he's messed around, never slept with, other girls. I on the other hand have had other partners. I also read you can get it using condoms anyhow. He just wanted kids really soon. I already have a 4 year old and now we want out own. Guess that's just how life works though, sometimes there's unexpected turns. Really though, we're both guilty and there's no use arguing over whose fault it was. Thanks for your help. Makes me feel better.

 
Old 07-15-2004, 12:36 PM   #6
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Re: Scared with HPV and telling husband???

Quote:
Originally Posted by chrislint3521
No, she didn't tell me that. I've read lots of info. on it and haven't found anywhere were it says that. It's just going to take us longer then we expected since I'll have to recover from the colposcopy. My doctor told me it was very common and acted like it wasn't all that serious as long as you take care of it. Which is comforting to an extent. I will try my best to explain it to him what I have found out and if not, do what you said and have him talk to my doctor. I guess I just feel guilty that it was all me. Thanks for your help and suggestions!
The colposcopy doesn't really hurt, it's just a little uncomfortable. They take a little piece off of your cervix and do a biopsy to see what else may be going on. They also put some white vinegar (I know it sounds gross,,,) on any suspicious areas to see if it turns white. This is usually where they find any cancerous cells. It kinda smells and stings a little bit, but not that bad. My doctor is a humorus guy and when I asked him what the smell was he said "Salad Dressing" The results usually take about three days.
You have to obstain from sex for 48 to 72 hours afterwards and you may get a "clotty thing" that comes out a few days later. (Isn't being a woman wonderful!) But this should not prevent you from having children. In fact, my husband and I were trying to conceive when all this took place. I didn't become pregnant but not because of that. I have some other infertility issues with blocked tubes. So don't worry too much. Remember your not alone!

 
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