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Human Papillomavirus (HPV) Message Board
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Old 01-11-2005, 08:39 PM   #1
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Any non-sexual way to contract HPV?

I am 32 and have been with my dh for 17yrs and married for 15 of those. I was told today that I have genital warts and the doctor basically said I had to catch it from my dh. We are the only partners each other have ever had. When we were teenages (like 17/18 years ago!) we may have fooled around with other people, but never actually had sex with anyone else. Is it possible to catch this any other way besides sex? Is it possible for one of us to have caught it as teens by playing around and it just now showing up? I really do believe my dh that he is faithful to me. He seems so heatbroken and just as confused as I am.

 
Old 01-12-2005, 12:18 AM   #2
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Re: Any non-sexual way to contract HPV?

Yes,
It is documented that you CAN get warts from simply 'rolling around naked in a bed' with someone. Why? Cause it's a skin disease! The warty virus flakes and spreads...it's very transmissible. Sex isn't necessary, just heavy petting or spreading the flakes while someone's virus is active. Doesn't mean someone had sex when they didn't, just mean they got really unlucky. If you just found out, perhaps you've had it years. It's pretty harmless, but it can be just plain ugly to look at. Pesky. Now, if you have the kind of warts that are not external, but burrow in your cervix, make sure you get paps every 6 months to watch for displaysia. Dysplasia is abnormal cells that COULD lead to cervical cancer. But you can prevent them by getting them frozen, IF YOU EVER GET THEM. So don't fret too much, it's not the worst. You could be stuck with herpes like me and it's terrible. Sometimes i just want to kill myself they are so bad. More than 1/2 of sexually active persons have HPV virus and most don't know it. Pretty wild statistic huh?

 
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Old 01-12-2005, 12:20 AM   #3
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Re: Any non-sexual way to contract HPV?

But if you JUST now had warts popping up, I might be a bit concerned about your partner's fidelity. A 15 year incubation period seems a bit unusual. I mean, do you see fleshy bumps now? Or was this all through a pap....I imagine you both have had it for many many years since you think he's been faithful.

 
Old 01-12-2005, 05:13 AM   #4
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Re: Any non-sexual way to contract HPV?

Yes, I actually have the bumps. I have never been naked with anyone else besides my husband. I have had a few other guys to fondle me, but that has been 17 years ago. Although my husband has never had sex with anyone else, he has been naked with a girl because they almost had sex but got interrupted. But that too has been seventeen years or longer. I believe him in my heart that he has always been faithful, but I keep hearing the doctor's words in my head. I have been just sick about this.

 
Old 01-12-2005, 05:24 AM   #5
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Re: Any non-sexual way to contract HPV?

I suggest you confront him about it. don't accuse, but don't let it go either.

 
Old 01-12-2005, 06:32 AM   #6
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Re: Any non-sexual way to contract HPV?

I have and he says all the right things reassuring me that he would never do anything like that and risk loosing me. He says he is just as confused as I am and has had to wonder if somehow I have been unfaithful (but since I am with him or kids all the time he knows how impossible that would be). He said he wishes he could reassure me and prove that he his telling me the truth. I feel so badly for him. I can't imagine him doubting me like that, but like I said, the doctor's words saying there is only one way to catch this keep coming back in my mind. He said he has to be the unluckiest man in the world for this to happen to us.

 
Old 01-12-2005, 06:46 AM   #7
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Re: Any non-sexual way to contract HPV?

Well, I tried to post a reply and it didn't go through so here I go again.

I have and he says all the right things. He seems just as confused as I am and wishes he could reassure me somehow. He says he would never do anything to risk loosing me that he couldn't imagine life without me. He said he has to be the unluckiest man in the world for this to happen to us. I know if this were someone else I would be saying that he is lying, but I have been with him for over half my life and feel like I know when he is lying and I just don't think he is.

 
Old 01-12-2005, 08:06 AM   #8
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Re: Any non-sexual way to contract HPV?

Two things . . .

About 15 years ago a doctor said I had HPV. I had never seen bumps during, before or after that time. I really didn't know anything about HPV so never thought to even ask what they were, how he knew I had them, etc etc. So either I have had them for a long time and they just never showed up, or else the doctor misdiagnosed me. So maybe you have had them for many years and just didn't know it. My husband has never shown any symptoms of having them. I have just researched this on another site and although it is spread through skin to skin contact, the site I was on specifically said it is only contracted during vaginal or anal sex. So maybe your husband had it for many many years and so have you, but you are only showing symptoms now.

Second thing is . . . faithfulness. People often will say they know for sure their partner is faithful, I know where they are at all times, I confronted them and they said all the right things, they would never do that,etc etc. I can tell you from experience, it is not the case. I stupidly had an affair several years ago . . . not a one night stand . . . I mean a physical, emotional, long term affair and was able to keep it a secret to this day. was once that person who said all the right things and made my husband feel secure in that I would never cheat on him. Believe me, I think what I did what as low as a person can get, but without going into the details, it was nevertheless a decision that I had made. My husband would say he always knew where I was (but yet I was able to slip away many afternoons without him knowing), he knew I loved him and would never want to hurt him (very true) and if he ever confronted me (which he never did), I would have been able to convince him without a doubt that I was 100% faithful to him. The point I'm making is that if someone is deceitful enough to cheat on their spouse, they are more than deceitful enough to cover their tracks, lie to their spouses and say "all the right things" to make them feel they are as pure as the driven snow.

I'm not saying that your husband is cheating, but it amazes me how many people feel that they "know" their spouse is faithful. A cheater is obviously someone who is able to come across as honest yet are just as able to lie to their spouses face. So having a spouse confront you and you denying it, really is just an extension of lying . . something the person has already done by cheating in the first place.

In this day and age, cheating is so dangerous. Aside from hurting the spouse, children and family, STD's are a real result of cheating and this is what scares me the most about these people who are being kept in the dark about their spouses infidelities. Hopefully your spouse is being faithful and that you had these warts before and just never knew it, but sometimes it can be a wake up call and just by questioning a cheating spouse and listening to them "say all the right things" is not always the way things really are.

 
Old 01-12-2005, 08:53 AM   #9
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Re: Any non-sexual way to contract HPV?

It could be a freak accident too, but not likely, you never know. You could have gone to a public bathroom and gently brush the toilet seat by accident. You could have been trying on a bathing suit, some other girl could have tried on before you.

 
Old 01-12-2005, 09:11 AM   #10
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Re: Any non-sexual way to contract HPV?

I was thinking that about the bathing suit because I did try on a bunch when we went on vacation in July. I always keep my panties on, but I guess it can still get on my skin. But I have the bumps on the skin covered by my underwear.

 
Old 01-18-2005, 11:21 AM   #11
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Re: Any non-sexual way to contract HPV?

i might wonder about his fidelity myself. sorry to be so blunt.

 
Old 01-18-2005, 01:38 PM   #12
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Re: Any non-sexual way to contract HPV?

yeah..... my dad cheated on my mom, and gave her herpes.... it happens. sometimes men just cant help themselves.

 
Old 01-19-2005, 11:32 AM   #13
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Re: Any non-sexual way to contract HPV?

men can help themselves- they just choose not to sometimes-and it is not all men and not always men- women do it too

 
Old 01-19-2005, 01:39 PM   #14
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Re: Any non-sexual way to contract HPV?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegurl
I have and he says all the right things reassuring me that he would never do anything like that and risk loosing me. He says he is just as confused as I am and has had to wonder if somehow I have been unfaithful (but since I am with him or kids all the time he knows how impossible that would be). He said he wishes he could reassure me and prove that he his telling me the truth. I feel so badly for him. I can't imagine him doubting me like that, but like I said, the doctor's words saying there is only one way to catch this keep coming back in my mind. He said he has to be the unluckiest man in the world for this to happen to us.
Uh-huh. I'm sorry, a classic ploy of a cheater is to accuse their partner of cheating.. he has even gotten you feeling bad for him. Perhaps he is telling the truth, but it seems far-fetched that you'd have an outbreak 17 years after being infected. I think you know this or you wouldn't be here asking questions. And really, stop thinking affairs are always long, drawn-out relationships with unexplained absences and working late and new attention to hygiene and dress that you are *sure* you would pick up on--he could have very well boffed his secretary a single time in his office. I hope I don't sound harsh, but I know men and women who have cheated and their spouse would swear up and down that it was impossible. Anyway, to answer your question, you get HPV from skin-to-skin contact (infected skin touching non-infected skin)--you can't get it from toilet seats or bathing suits or anything like that. The virus has to go from from living tissue to living tissue. So you got it from your husband at some point.

 
Old 01-19-2005, 11:34 PM   #15
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Re: Any non-sexual way to contract HPV?

Quote:
Originally Posted by healthnut76
men can help themselves- they just choose not to sometimes-and it is not all men and not always men- women do it too
Yeah, I wasn't saying all men. From what I have seen through personal experiences of families IVE known... its been the man that cheated and broke up the marriage. NOT saying all men.

 
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