My long-time girlfriend was diagnosed with HPV at the beginning of our relationship and although we are a very stable couple we have been using protection since the beginning.
We are now talking about having kids and I am not sure how to deal with it. We want kids, but I don't want to get HPV...hehe.
Anyone else dealt with this. Should I just suck it up and live with HPV as a condition of wanting children in this relationship?
LOL...your post made me laugh. Well here's the thing...i hate to break it to you but there a chance you may have already contracted HPV from your g/f! How? Because HPV lives on the skin, whether it be on the genital area or in the case of women, also in the vagina or cervix. Because the condom only covers the penis and the rest of your genital area has contact with the outside of her genitals it's entirely possible she may have transmitted the infection already. That's why HPV is so prevalent...condoms don't necessarily protect you from it.
What form of HPV does she have...warts or cervical dysplasia? Is she currently being treated for it or is she symptom-free? If it's something she had a while back and was treated for it and no longer has any evidence of it it's entirely possible she has cleared herself of the virus. It's also very possible that you yourself have HPV from a long time ago but it never manifested itself. They say that by age 50, 80% of the polulation will have contracted HPV but only 10% of those will actually manifest the virus.
HPV is a very complex issue so i don't think you should worry about it too much because it doesn't affect men the same way it affect women. Women run the risk of developping cervical cancer if they have contracted a high-risk strain of HPV. Most important thing if either of you are exhibiting symptoms, ie warts or cervical dysplasia is to get treated.
Good luck with starting a family...it's a great thing
I know it was a long post but i hope it helped!
PS: I don't doubt your g/f is a smart woman and the fact that she knows she has HPV is a great thing...please remind her to get her paps every single year. There's a new pap on the market (ThinPrep) and HPV DNA test that she can take...together it's 95% accurate...the old-fashioned pap had a 50% failure rate....very important for someone who has had HPV in the past!
Thanks. She had some small spots on her uterus? something like that. This is 6 years ago, she was treated and nothing manifested itself since. I probably shouldn't worry so much but your feedback helps convince myself.
I have this twisted thought that if we were to break up in 10 years I would be very ashamed of admitting I have an STD to another partner. What is life with HPV like? Is it an easy to admit STD?
There is no cure for HPV. Therefore, if she has it and you've been sleeping with her (condom or not) you're at a great risk for having it. I believe it is the most common STD out there because it doesn't matter whether you use protection or not.
If you two were to ever break up then you should definately tell your next partner. Your girlfriend told you and you stayed with her.
Well I found out i had HPV after I got married so my husband knew about it right away. So i can't tell you what it's like to have to tell a person you're in anew relationship with. I would say it's definitely important to tell any future partners. However, the thing with HPV is if your g/f has not had any problems with this in 6 years there's a very good chance her immune system cleared the virus. If she were to get tested today the DNA test would most likely come back negative. Since men cannot be tested then it's impossible to know if you still carry the virus. That's why it's important to disclose this to others in the future.
I told my husband on our second date I have HPV and Herpes. He knew it the first time we had sex, and now 5 years later with 2 children. He likely has both now, but it doesn't matter. If you really love someone and want to have children with them than that is the risk you take.
I don't mean to butt in on this thread, but i'm in need of some serious help. Halls, you said you have HPV and herpes. I do too. When first diagnosed with HPV I had a visible wart, that was treated, and I haven't had any since. I'm assuming my body has rid itself of that strand of the virus, however recently (over past year) I've had problems with abnormal paps and one colpo. The results have said low grade for all of them (next pap is in 3 months). I am pretty much freaking out, because I am getting married soon and really want ot have children. I guess I am concerned that if the abnormalities progress, and a LEEP needs to be done, that my cervix will weaken, and i will be unable to have children. Or worse...that the abnormalities will progress so fast, that when I go back they will tell me I have cancer, and will need a full hysterectomy. Before you had children Halls, did you ever have to have a LEEP done? Or do you only have the strand that causes visible warts? I am so scared. If all of this was happening after I had children, I would feel so much better. Any thoughts you can provide would help a lot. Thanks so much.
I am concerned that if the abnormalities progress, and a LEEP needs to be done, that my cervix will weaken, and i will be unable to have children. Or worse...that the abnormalities will progress so fast, that when I go back they will tell me I have cancer, and will need a full hysterectomy.
First, for many women, these types of pre-cancerous changes resolve themselves, especially in younger women. So you might not need a Leep or other procedure at all.
But if you do, the chances of it reducing your fertility are quite small.
The good thing about cervical cancer (if there is such a thing) is that it is usually VERY SLOW growing. So it is just incredibly unlikely that your disease would progress to such a drastic point that you would need a hysterectomy.
That is why it is so important to stay on top of this and do all of the follow up and re-checks that your doc recommends. That way, if anything were to happen, your doctor would catch it right away and you would be treated long before anything could happen that would hurt your fertility.
Personally, I know several women who have had cone biopsies and gone on to have several normal pregnancies.
I am sure your doctor can reassure you if you have any other worries. Good luck.
Thanks for the reply Analog. People on boards like this keep reasurring me of those same facts. I think I just need to continue to busy myself with the things in my life that make me happy, so that I don't stop to think about the "What Ifs". I am ABSOLUTELY keeping up with my check-ups.
FightClub- I didn't mean to step away from your reason for starting this tread. It is true that even diligent condom use will not entirely protect you from it. My question for you would be what strand of HPV your gf has. Has she had visible warts, or abnormal cells on her cervix? The strands that cause cervical cell changes, to my knowledge, rarely cause problems for men. I personally have both strands. ALthough I have not recently gotten a test to see what strands are active, I had one visible wart, it was removed almost 3 years ago, and have not had another since. Now however I am having problems with the strand that causes cell changes. My bf had NEVER had any visible warts, or other problems due to HPV. And yes...i imagine it would not be easy to tell another partner i had an std. The good news that i've heard regarding HPV however, is that a healthy immunes system can often rid itself of the virus. (NOt sure however if that means entirely, or if it is still there and can be passed to another.)
I hope you've found the answeers you were looking for. Please don't let this stand in the way of a great relationship.
If it's been six years since she had any symptoms, her body's probably long cleared the virus and she's no longer contagious. However, I agree with those who said you probably already have it anyway. While new studies have shown that condom use can reduce the risk of contracting HPV by 80% (a lot more than the religious right would like you to believe!), pretty much all of us have it anyway. Either way, quite honestly, it's really a non-event. I certainly wouldn't lose a minute's sleep over it :-)
i actually think that men can be tested but they usually don't test unless u ask for it and it is true that 80% of people who are sexually active have it and most don't know it. most docs don't test for hpv specifically even in women. they only test when ur pap smear comes back as abnormal because the only thing they are concerned about is to prevent cervical cancer. hpv will sometimes never cause an abnormal pap so someone could have it and never know it. i had a gyno tell me that i didn't have to tell a new partner because they can't do much about it anyway and it doesn't effect men in the same way that it effects women. i disagree and feel that one should be honest in a relationship but what is crazy is that in my situation i really would have never known anything was wrong because i never had an abnormal pap. i knew because i knew the person who slept with my b/f b4 me and found out that she had hpv and so i got myself tested with the specific hpv test. paps are still normal so we'll see.
I do not know what strand she has/had. She had abnormal cells on her cervix...had a biopsy and had something burned with liquid nitrogen. She was also told it was a "pre-cancer" of some sort but at the same time when the doc saw her two years after her treatment he told her to never worry about it again. They are confusing sometimes.
hi, i found out i had hpv 2 weeks in to a new relationship, unfortunatly me and my boyfriend did not use and protection. i now have to live with knowing that i passed hpv on to him i always wonder what would happen if we had to break up cos not only will i have to tell any new partners but so will he and it is all my fault. we are not planning to break up and infact we are planning to get married if i was in your shoes making a comitment like having a child with someone else is a pretty big deal so i dont think i would worry to much about hpv at all. i know what you mean because you dont know what is going to happen in the years to come but if you love her and you want to have beautiful children together i think it is a small sacrifice considering half the world has it.