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Old 05-15-2005, 09:18 AM   #1
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HPV worry

My partner found a genital wart a few months ago and had it treated, and after this I had a cervical smear test, which showed that i had contracted the wart virus from him. However, I dont think that I have any warts ( I have checked myself, but dont know about internally.) My partner had the wart burned off, but the treatment seems to not have worked as it is still there.

Im worried about whether we should be using condoms now?(im on the pill) Even though I have the virus, is it possible that he can still give me a "wart"? and, even after his wart is fully removed should we use condoms?
Also, is it likely that i will get a "wart" regardless now that I have the virus?
Should I go to the doctor and ask to be checked for any internal warts?

It is frustrating for us both that even though he was tested for all STDs and came up clear, i still managed to contract this virus from him (he's my first partner).

 
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Old 05-15-2005, 04:18 PM   #2
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Re: HPV worry

It is impossible to transfer HPV back and fourth to each other if I were you I would be using condoms anyway and if you have already been diagnosed with the virus I wouldnt worry about it I dont think he could actually give you a wart if you already have the virus for them good luck to you

 
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Old 05-15-2005, 11:14 PM   #3
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Re: HPV worry

Using condoms has a lot of benefits, but they do not protect from HPV. The virus is transmitted by skin to skin contact, which can occur in places that the condom does not cover, such as the scrotum and labia.

There are many different strains of HPV, the ones that cause abnormal pap smears do not usually cause visible warts. So your partner (and therefore you) might be infected with more than one strain (don't worry, this is very common). It is possible that you have contracted one strain from him (to cause your abnormal pap), without having contracted the one that causes his visible warts, but most likely you are already infected. You may or may not ever show any visible symptoms, many people don't.

It is not surprising that your partner did not know that he had HPV, there are no reliable diagnostic tests in men, and it is not included in the standard STD screening.

I know how upsetting it is to be diagnosed with an STD, but this really isn't a big deal. The majority of sexually active adults have contracted HPV at some point. Some estimates are as high as 80% of the population has the virus. So given this reality, it would actually be surprising if your partner didn't have HPV!

HPV is a very complex and confusing virus, but it is really fairly benign. It is incredibly unlikely that either you or your partner will ever have any significant health problems from the virus. There is a lot of good info on this subject on this site's health center. And you can always ask your doctor for more info.

Good luck.

 
Old 05-16-2005, 05:15 PM   #4
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Re: HPV worry

I agree with analog's reply, I'm also impresed by that reply yet, I do want to add, in some case, like my own, it can lead to problems. But it won't as long as you keep up with your annual pap smear tests. (I didn't since I felt fine, no problem, didn't go for pap smears,,,,so now you know ahead of time,,,,you cannot avoid your pap smears.)
Regular pap smears=early identification=easy fix when or if need be.)

 
Old 05-19-2005, 09:57 AM   #5
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Re: HPV worry

Hi Analog and everyone else,

I have an issue and reading here I see I can come to you guys. I am so hoping to hear what I want but it's best I hear what I need to.

This is the situation. I am very confused and worried. Please bear with me as it may be long. But I really need help understanding and am worried sick.

Ok out of the blue a few months back I'd say - maybe close to a year, I guess I either noticed or hubby told me as he'd be sore in the area - after sex he'd have to dab like a little blood from the tip? of the penis or around the front area. Don't ask me sections or names I am not that familiar with the male organ :-) I can't even explain it well as my memory is fading. Anyway it would take a few days for it to heal. No sores or anything odd. I would say just little sort of like an eczema maybe or whatver type tiny blood and it would hurt him - sort of like an irritation. Again I don't even know well now I forget. He went to a urologist and the dr. told him that not being circumsized he needs to keep moisture out. Gave him a cream to put on which I read up on it says fungal whatever. Now my husband is anal with cleanliness but I can understand that he may not shower after each pee - who does. So it made sense to me. So it came and went and he'd be fine after the cream but after having sex - sore again.

A week ago I had gone for my regular checkup at the gyno - all fine. Three days after my apt. - we had sex trying to have a 2nd child. Well out of the blue a thrush of blood (maybe mixed with semen - dark I couldn't see) came out of me as he pulled out. Don't know if it was me or him. But he went to the bathroom and he was bleeding - in something like what you would have if you got your finger caught somewhere and it built up blood IN IT and then spurt out? I can't explain it and it's frustrating me so I am praying a man on here knows or maybe a woman who had this happen. I looked carefully and the skin had ruptured I guess - size of a pea = smaller. And he dabbed it and it's going away slowly. But that day even after showering and cleaning (and he wipes as I do before and after of course and wash up) I still had blood when I wiped. Just till the next day. He swears all it was was a little read prior to it but not a build up of blood or anything. We don't have sex often really as I work at home sometimes till 4 am and he's the type that likes sex early he gets too tired. He's only 44 but he's not a late sleeper, etc.

I need your opinion please. Here are some of the things going through my mind. The man calls me every day a hundred times a day. We are married 5 years. He swears he hates cheating and hates people who do that and he wants no part of that kind of marriage. He's NEVER late in coming home and never early going to work. He calls me from work every day so I know he's there. He works with one lady who he doesn't like and she's really overweight (I am not thin but not as overweight as she is). She's a church going lady with morals from what I know. And I can't IMAGINE them doing that at work. The only person he could cheat with EVER is her because he's just never away from us - ever not ever on weekends, etc. So part of me says it's in my head. But then the other part is getting overly paranoid because I can't imagine how a year ago he had no problem. His theory is his skin is thinning and he has to be more careful that's all. The urologist even told him he tells many patients to use blow dryers to keep moisture out.

He went yesterday again to the same guy. I told him to ask to get tested for STDs. He swore he would. But then comes back with the story that the dr. told him again it's the moisture thing and he told him to keep using the cream. He told him if all else fails he can consider getting circumsized. He refuses to do that at this age. I asked if he asked for STD testing. He said the dr. told him there's no reason for it - he's confident he has nothing. We always talk and he swears to me that he'd never be a stubborn man who refused anything can be wrong. But last night when I probed him - he's like I have nothing wrong - he refuses to believe it and that makes me even more suspicious. Afterall why get defensive.

So I called my obgyn and told her what happened and she said so? haha. Then I asked her what she tested me for - because my period was late last month and she said do I have discharge, etc. She told me I got tested for Chlamydia and Ghonn and yeast and syph, etc. And ALL came back negative. She said it's a new pap smear thing and you are fine. You did test positive for HPV. I said how come I didn't know. She said because my PAP SMEAR was normal. But I guess the bloodwork showed HPV. The thing is I don't see ANY warts on me at all. I do see like what would be a skin tag or an extra skin inside the vagina opening so I started to cry last night - worried sick. She also said she never heard of this moisture or cleanliness thing causing fungus but if the dr. told hubby that I shouldn't worry and I'd be just fine.

With worries about health - the last thing I care about is him cheating on me for other reasons. Not that I'd stay but my concern is my health more than anything else. He told me there's NO WAY it's him cause he swore on the holy bible even (to prove to me) that he's never cheated. He said he'll go to 5 doctors if I want, take a lie detector or whatever. He said I swear I hate cheating and never have. But then I have this thing - out of the blue. He's got the bleeding and irritated penis with fungus. Why is it he didn't have it until last year. I told him I am a factual person and I believe blood work. He says he has nothing and refuses to talk about it. He told me to call his dr. if I don't believe it but he was hurt - he said I'd trust you 100% no matter what doctor said what. He said maybe you had it all along and didn't know. Now I don't know if I was ever tested for it before but I assume being pregnant they check for all that. Maybe they never told me because it's common and my paps are normal. I don't know. I would think it's me if he had no penis issue. I HATE not being trustworthy but his being defensive is scaring me - I mean he almost right away said don't even look at me I have nothing wrong I need nothing to know that. I know I have never been anywhere. But then I think how do I know WHAT his dr. told him - it's what he's telling me.

I see no sores on him - it's just this red tip and bleeding after sex, etc. Although I don't check him other times to know if it's always there. Then part of me feels bad because it's not as if he's hiding it from me. He said he knew nothign was wrong and still went to dr. for me. Then he brings up how I made him go to an eye exam when he couldn't see a sign at night and he was right he had 20/20 vision. He said you don't believe me. And I hate that feeling and if not for this whole thing I NEVER suspected him cheating. EVER. But we live in a messed up world where someone can stare at you and lie. He told me I have to trust him. But I believe bloodwork. How did I get this? Dr. did tell me it could be from toilet seats, etc. I read a post here where someone asked well how did the first person in the world get HPV - it couldn't be from sex. So I start wondering maybe it's not an STD. I don't know. I am so confused. I can't see how he'd be cheating. He's home all the time or at work. Then I think well blood work doesn't lie. He's not even the type who is social enough to go up to a woman and approach her.

Now I am afraid to have sex with him wihtout a condom because I think what if he is cheating and I get something worse. And it breaks my heart because I want a baby so badly.

Please give me some advice. Thank you soooooooo much.

 
Old 05-19-2005, 11:11 AM   #6
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BeingThin HB User
Re: HPV worry

Oh I forgot to add my obgyn didn't do a thing about my HPV. She didn't request any freezing or anything of the sort or any treatment - is that normal?

 
Old 05-19-2005, 02:54 PM   #7
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Re: HPV worry

lady,

take it easy. i doubt your husband is cheating from what you describe. it sounds like he might have a urethral stricture or too rough on the sex and hurt himself. i wouldn tknow b/c im circumsized. but many ppl have problems being uncircumsized, it doesnt mean its something serious, especially if a doctor told him that. and HPV can not be detected in the blood, its a skin virus, and if your GYN told u you dont have it, then relax....take it easy!

 
Old 05-19-2005, 03:24 PM   #8
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Re: HPV worry

hey thank you - I know I am paranoid. One thing I fear is bad health. I can handle just about anything else. I guess part of me is fearful as yesterday morning I lost my dear aunt at 69 of uterine cancer. The only reason I even suspected him is because of what's going on with him. IF I had HPV and he had nothing or any issues, I'd never doubt him. I have never doubted him until all this happened. I think the dr. said she did a culture - I don't know if that's blood test or not. I guess they take a piece out of me during a pap smear and that's how they know?

I asked my husband more clearly what the dr. said last year. He said intially he couldn't pull back his skin it was hurting him and he thought it was like blistering or bubbling slightly and it was irritated and it was tingling when he peed and sometimes burned. That's when the dr. gave him this anti-fungal cream thing. It went away, we'd have sex, it would get sore and hurt and turn red and bleed slightly - very slightly. Then I never bothered asking because he'd say it's getting better. Whenever we had sex I stopped asking and forgot all about it. This time when the blood came out of me and he ran to the bathroom to see he had this built up blood in his skin that burst during sex I guess. But he swears it was slightly red before that and no blood build up or sore. So of course I am nervous. I am not used to strange things.

Then after that I don't know if it's my mind but I started itching a little but that's gone. Now I feel pain inside me. I am terrified. He has no warts or anything odd like that. Just what I would consider is a red/sore sometimes bleeding type of thing and this last time it wasn't a pus filled or anything - just like a built of blood - maybe it is a blister who knows. It wasn't clear inside - blood came out.

I am so terrified. Now I am wondering if it's Herpes. That's the one thing I didn't ask my gyno if she tested. The point is it's moot because she tested me before this day of sex. Does anyone think it's anything bad?

 
Old 05-19-2005, 03:25 PM   #9
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Re: HPV worry

by the way she said I DID test positive for HPV but not in my pap smear. She said my pap came back normal but I tested positive for HPV. I don't know how she did that - all I know is she took blood, urine and a pap smear.

 
Old 05-20-2005, 03:37 PM   #10
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Re: HPV worry

Your post is a little bit confusing. So, because of the unusual discharge you had and some of the symptoms your husband has had, you are worried that he has caught an STD while cheating on you? Is that it? You are also concerned because your doctor said you had HPV?

Assuming this is what you are worried about - First the HPV, I don't know about you and your husband's sexual histories, but HPV is super common! The usual stat is that 80% of Americans have HPV. So, if either you or your husband ever had ANY sexual contact with anyone else before your marriage, the odds are good that you both have HPV. The virus can remain in your body showing now signs for years or decades. So it is entirely possible that either you or your husband contracted HPV long before your marriage, and you have only now started to have symptoms.

HPV is not part of a standard STD screening, and you would not automatically be tested for it if you were pregnant. So, just because your doc says you have HPV, does NOT mean your husband has cheated. Also, you don't need to worry at all that your doc doesn't want to do any type of treatment, especially if your pap smear was normal. Like I said, HPV is incredibly common, and the vast majority of people infected will never have any problems from it, or need any type of medical treatment. As long as you keep up to date on your pap smears (which you should do anyway), you will be fine.

As for your husbands other symptoms, they really don't sound STD related. If it would make you feel better, why don't you go to the doctor with him? Then you could ask all the questions you want, and get the reassurance you seem to need.

I can understand why your husband is hurt that you accused him of cheating. I would be hurt if my husband ever accused me like that. I hope the two of you can work things out.

Good luck.

 
Old 05-20-2005, 11:16 PM   #11
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Re: HPV worry

Hi analog,

Thank you for such a calming and organized post. Obviously mine wasn't/isn't. I think I panicked as this week has been very stressful on me. I just buried my dear aunt today and haven't slept in 3 days with the wake, etc.. She had uterine cancer at 65 and died. Then this thing with my husband also happened this week, etc.

First, of course I am concerned about him in general which is why I asked him. Then I am concerned that if this is going to go on and off with him (redness and bleeding and irritations), he's going to be too sore to have sex (as it is it's not often) and if we don't have sex - it's kind of hard to procreate haha. And then the thought of giving me infections came to me.

You make a lot of sense and I agree. I NEVER doubted my husband EVER until this whole thing with his private part. And even then it's not that i doubt him but i thought well why does he out of the blue have something like this when he never had before. And as hard as it was, I had to assume it's from a sexual thing. I always swore, after hearing people swearing up and down their men would never cheat (and they did), that I would never be a naive woman who brags and says I know my husband would never do that. I don't like being all conceited like that. We are all susceptible to many things in life and I don't put myself above other women. So I thought well maybe he did something though I knew it was uncharacteristic of him. Frankly, I fear health issues as anyone would. Sadly, I didn't even stop to think for a moment that there's never even been an opportunity for him to cheat and I asked him. I didn't accuse him at all. I just asked and also told him what the dr. said and that HPV is a sexually transmitted disease. I had no facts so I jumped the gun. i had no clue she never tested me before. My hubby and I actually have an amazing marriage - not perfect but pretty good. Maybe that's why I got paranoid. I feared it was too good to be true and this redness on him gave me the reason to say AHA maybe he's not perfect - lol :-). It's just been a very stressful time.

Yes I was concerned because out of the blue I had some signs like pain and discharge 4 days after we had sex and the day we had sex was the day a gush of blood came out of him from being sore and his skin tearing. And he found out the 4th day when MY signs started that he had a fungal thing. I knew then why I was feeling weird. And today I went to the gyno and she confirmed I have a yeast infection. I never had that before. I feel like my insides are being torn - I am in such pain.

You are right again - when i found out about his condition and i had symptoms, I called my gyno who I had been to two weeks ago. She told me I had HPV but nothing else. I told her that i went to her prior to the incident with my husband. That's why I went again tonight. Thank God I did because i do have a yeast infection. She clarified for me that I could have had HPV prior to my husband because she never tested me for it. She said the new pap tests automatically check for it and she noticed it.

Thank you and yes I do go yearly for my paps. My husband did say he'd go with me if i wanted him to. It was his defensive way and attitude that bothered me. I mean right away he got defensive and that really was weird for me because I would answer very calmly if I had nothing to hide. I personally would NEVER be insulted if my husband doubted me because I know we live in a world where an extremely high percentage of people do cheat. While i don't cheat and never have, I wouldn't judge him for wondering and asking. Let's face it cheats don't have a specific look or attitude, etc. Cheaters can be found in the kindest most innocent looking souls. I don't get insulted at those things. I actually would commend him for being concerned about his health and our marriage. I wasn't trying to hurt him. All i knew at that time in my mind was I believe blood results because they don't lie. I never knew my dr. had not tested me for HPV before. I thought it was new and it made sense he gave it to me since he had those issues. I got paranoid I admit and I had no clue how common HPV was.

Anyway that's my update. I get my results next week - she's testing me for other things and did a bacterial culture and another culture. obviously things changed since she saw me about 2 weeks ago - I have this yeast thing for one.

Thanks again :-)))))))))))))) All the best !

 
Old 05-23-2005, 08:32 AM   #12
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Re: HPV worry

I understand what you are saying. The two of you have never had these types of issues before, and then you find out you have HPV, which is sexually transmitted. I can see where you might start to think that your husband had cheated. It is a logical first thought.

But now that you have more info, you know that isn't necessarily the case. Once you get yourself taken care of and start to feel better, you can focus all of your attention on getting your husband well! I am sure the two of you can find a solution to his health problems, and then you will be ready to have that new baby! I'm glad to hear you are feeling better, and good luck.

 
Old 05-24-2005, 11:27 AM   #13
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Re: HPV worry

Hey analog,

Thank you once again. I went Friday night to the obgyn again and she said I have a yeast infection. I did the 3 day application thing for that. While she saw that right away, she did a bacterial infection culture and another pap and all sorts of tests for STDs. She called me this morning and she said all the big things came back negative but that I do have bacterial infection too. I asked what it was so I can check with you guys but she mumbled something like it's similar to having a sore throat or strep or something like that. I thought that was only in the throat? I have nothing in the throat so I didn't get that. I asked again and again she repeated it's not a big deal it's like having a sore throat or strep (?). She gave me amicillin o something like that. I am to take it for 7 days. I did ask if it was an std and she said no. But at this point she's also very cautious to not alarm me - we are close now since she delivered my baby, etc. so I hope she's not making it seem like it's just a regular bacteria instead of telling me it's something else. But I doubt that she'd take a serious thing and make it like it's nothing. I got the impression no matter what it can be cleared up. Then i went to the pharmacy and got nervous because I bathe my little girl and get in the tub with her to do that and I got scared that maybe if I have these bacterial and yeast things that maybe by sitting in the water she may get it too. I know I am getting paranoid but I never had any sicknesses in all my life so all this is very new to me.

I still would like to know how it is that all my life I had not a single UTI, Yeast or any other infection and now I have them all and ironically the same time that my husband has his fungal infection thing. I know maybe we passed it to each other - but wouldn't that come from elsewhere too? Having sex with another person doesn't mean you have to give an STD but if that person has a bacterial thing they can certainly pass it to you too.

I trust my husband and never doubted him. But when all this stuff started to happen - I had no choice but to wonder if the only way he can get any of this is elsewhere. I trust him completely again but I wish I knew how to prevent this from happening again. If this is the case with him, I can't imagine how it's going to be solved. I am scared to have sex and get pregnant and have all this stuff again. His dr. already told him if this keeps on happening - his last resort is to consider circ. and he won't consider that at his age he says.

Do we know anyone on the board who is not circumsized and has these issues? I wish someone else knew what this was too and how they took care of it.

But I want to thank you so much for your advice and welcome more :-) Take care and I am here for you if you need to talk to :-)

 
Old 05-25-2005, 06:57 PM   #14
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Re: HPV worry

HPV, may have ancient origins in other, non-genital strains of wart viruses.


Regardless of the origins of HPV, the only way to become infected with it is thru sexual contact.


Do not let the force of someone else's influence cause you to not take precautions.

I know it can be difficult, to have someone forcing their opinion/sugestion on you ( when you know better ), and feel all alone.

Trust your instincts, and not any weaknesses.

You have tested positive for HPV, which is only contracted thru sexual contact.

He should have no problem getting tested for HPV ( if it is possible, i.e. the virus is very difficult to detect, but I guess a blood test would show it, as it did with your case ).

Chances are, if you have it, he does also,

and if you have not *ever* been with anyone else, then you know where you got it from.

Is it possible that the small sore he has, that bleeds when you have sex, is a spot, where there was a wart, that he tried to cut/pick off?

( incidentally, that is like the worst thing to do for warts, since they are rooted in the skin, by both tissue and virus ).

Even if he did get tested, it sounds like he might try to somehow turn it around and put it on you, just be prepared.

Last edited by ethera; 05-25-2005 at 07:21 PM.

 
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