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Human Papillomavirus (HPV) Message Board
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Old 05-25-2005, 12:19 PM   #1
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Join Date: Mar 2005
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April505 HB User
So frustrated, need help from knowledgeable HPV people

Ok so 5 months after I told this guy that I thought he gave me HPV (abnormal pap) he gets back in touch w/ me.

JUST to be a jerk and say hes clean and he has the paper work to prove it!!

I'm like ok..... little late.

But heres the thing. The HPV I have, a guy cannot be tested for. He said he was urine tested for it. But from what I can remember 5 months ago he didnt even know what I had. He one time said "what was that called again HTP?"

He has no clue what he even needs to be tested for. I'm sure he was tested for the usuaal stuff like herpes, gonorea, clamydia.

Anyways.... after reading a book on it ( I kind of freaked out at first)
I did all my logical thinking and out of being w/ 2 guys in the last 2 yrs, he was the most likely suspect, SO at the time, I thought I should tell him. Of course he didnt think it was him. Now he is almost rubbing it in my face.

Well 5 months later I have realized I was super lucky and I could have contracted somehting much worse..... I'm over trying to prove who gave it to me. All I really wanted to do was educate this guy, and try to explain that he prob wasn't even tested for what I have. I didnt wanna get into it cuz i wasnt sure exactly what to say. (But dont they put some liquid on the penis and look for abnormal cells for guys?)

Ok I ranting, but omg when u havent talked to someone in half a yr, then they are rude and ignorant, Arg.

 
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Old 05-25-2005, 05:27 PM   #2
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Join Date: May 2005
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ethera HB User
Re: So frustrated, need help from knowledgeable HPV people

I have also contracted HPV.

I broke up with my steady partner of 2 years, and a week or two after, had a one night stand with someone else.

I did get tested at the free clinic, immediately after the one night stand, and the tests came back negative ( showing no diseases ).

My previous partner and I did get back together, about a month after I had the one night stand.

Then my partner called me from her doctor's appointment, to tell me that they found warts and asked if I'd been with anyone

( I could have asked the same question about her, but I told her about the one night stand ).


The thing that sucks about HPV ( and is also very ironic ), is that I've read that it is very difficult to detect when doing STD testing.

If it is so common, why do they not make extra effort to test for it specifically ? All they did when they tested me was take a cotton swab and do a culture test !

I tried to do the responsible thing by getting tested, but what good are test results that don't rule out HPV?

I try to console myself of guilty feelings by thinking that she could have just as easily been the one who contracted it first and then passed it [to me ], but there is a different kind of depression with that notion, and the disease remains...


I think people infected play dumb about HPV, since it is so difficult to detect until symptoms show, and because it may be 'not that bad' in their minds, and because there's no cure for the HPV virus that causes the warts. Who wants to go around the dating scene telling people they have an incureable, contageous virus?

HPV continues as an epidemic,

*because it is difficult to detect,

*and maybe because people who know they are infected pretend like they are not,

*and because some infected people may actually be ignorant about it.


How do people get over it ( having HPV infection )? Do they just say to themselves, 'oh well, I'm still very attractive' ,

the reason I'm asking is that I've been infected and it really bums me out. I feel like it's because I worry about the implications of it more than other people do.

I see HPV infection as increased liability, as opposed to asset.

I have yet to figure out how to turn this around and make something good out of it.

 
Old 05-25-2005, 05:38 PM   #3
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 874
Mr.G HB User
Re: So frustrated, need help from knowledgeable HPV people

Hey man I can relate to you 100% I receantly found out about a month back that I have HPV...the warts(male as well) and it is bummin me out big time. I have tested neg for everything else including HIV and I am happy about that but this still bugs me a lot. I agree most ppl will just assume that they are perfect and clean if they dont know if they have it..even though 4/5 people will. I fell so gross and unattractive now, even though I am really no different than all other ppl that have the virus despite that fact the I have symptoms for it. I guess it just proves that ignorance is bliss.

 
Old 05-25-2005, 06:22 PM   #4
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,146
analog2000 HB User
Re: So frustrated, need help from knowledgeable HPV people

Quote:
Originally Posted by April505
He said he was urine tested for it.
There is no such thing as a urine test for HPV. There are blood tests, but they are not widely available, and can be inaccurate. In general, men are only diagnosed with HPV when a doctor sees visible warts.

There is no way for you to know who gave you HPV. The virus can remain dormant in the body for months or even years, so it is not necessarily the partner you were with when you discovered the virus.

To me, it doesn't matter where I got HPV. Even if I did know, I wouldn't blame the guy. HPV is super common, with 80% of Americans infected. So it is more likely than not that anyone you meet has the virus. Having HPV doesn't say anything about a person's sexual history, number of partners, or moral character.

This guys sounds like a jerk! So now you know for sure that you did the right thing by breaking up with him! You tried to do the right thing by letting him know about the HPV, what he does from here is up to him. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Remember, ex-boyfriends live just to torment you. I hope you can put this guy out of your mind.

Good luck.

 
Old 05-26-2005, 12:28 AM   #5
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 8
April505 HB User
Re: So frustrated, need help from knowledgeable HPV people

Quote:
Originally Posted by analog2000
There is no such thing as a urine test for HPV. There are blood tests, but they are not widely available, and can be inaccurate. In general, men are only diagnosed with HPV when a doctor sees visible warts.

There is no way for you to know who gave you HPV. The virus can remain dormant in the body for months or even years, so it is not necessarily the partner you were with when you discovered the virus.

To me, it doesn't matter where I got HPV. Even if I did know, I wouldn't blame the guy. HPV is super common, with 80% of Americans infected. So it is more likely than not that anyone you meet has the virus. Having HPV doesn't say anything about a person's sexual history, number of partners, or moral character.

This guys sounds like a jerk! So now you know for sure that you did the right thing by breaking up with him! You tried to do the right thing by letting him know about the HPV, what he does from here is up to him. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Remember, ex-boyfriends live just to torment you. I hope you can put this guy out of your mind.

Good luck.
Thanks... I guess I was annoyed b/c Its kind of useless to come to me with this information 6 months later, and then act all high and mighty when he wasn't even tested for hpv. I was soo frustrated, how many times can u say to someone, "there is no way u were tested for this particular disease."
I guess I can't understand why this is so hard for him to understand, that he will prob never know if he has it unless he develops warts.

 
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