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Old 06-08-2005, 06:40 PM   #1
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Clearance time and ethical obligation for HPV.

I have done a lot of reseach lately on HPV..because I found out I had it 2 months ago..warts. Anyways on several sites which are completely legit say that in 6 months to 1 yr 70% of ppl with HPV will cure themselves of the virus(meaning not contagious) and after 2 yrs 90% will have clear it...here is my plan with my virus..tell me if you think this is ethically ok.

-Not have any sex whatsover for 6 months after the area were my warts are have completey cleared. After the 6months only engage in protected sex.

-Not have any unprotected sex for 2 yrs and only after having myself and my prospective partner test for all std's. I figure by this time there will be a lot of new information out and possible a vaccine and I will be able to make a more educated decesion on wiether to disclose this information to a new partner.

I have talked to my doctor about this and he felt that after 2 yrs w/o sign of warts thier really should be no ethical obligation to tell your perspective partners due to the new studies and the fact that they are more than likely to have it already.
I am not sure really what to do about the to tell or to not tell debate. I think for me it is really gonna depend on the person I choose to sleep with. I think it is really going to depend on how open minded and mature they seem.I know some of you will hammer for this..but it is all because of the stigma that is associated with an STD. While I think HPV shoudl not be even classified as an STD because it is so rampant and can be passed w/o necessarily having sex. An analogy I have heard from other people regarding HPV is compared to driving. Everytime you get behind the wheel with someone else in your car their is a chance you could hurt them or kill them. But everytime before you go driving do you say to them, "look thier is a possibility that we could get in an accident and die so it is your decesion if you want to ride with me or not."Dont you think that would freak someone out? Same with HPV...thier is a possibiltiy to get a type of cancer from it but the likelhood very low. I guess my main concern is not been able to be with the same kind of ppl that I could be with just because I know that I have HPV...while 80% of the population has it most of them will never know and will easily assume that they dont. I have taken responsibility for my actions...I have tested for every STD..and I am being treated for the only one I have...I ahve abstained from sex for 5 months now and I know I will at least for another 6 months. Well ok I need to get going but please everyone take some time and respond to this...I want some opinons on this. Thanks

Last edited by Mr.G; 06-08-2005 at 06:43 PM.

 
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Old 06-10-2005, 10:12 AM   #2
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Re: Clearance time and ethical obligation for HPV.

Thanks for your insight ethera. First of all on the condom issue...I have talked about this with doctors and done a lot of research as well and the use of condoms greatly reduces the chance of spreading it. They say that it can still be spread to other parts of the surrounding areas not protected by a condom through viral shedding but it is not as likely. I can almost gurantee that most of the cases of genital warts were spread through unprotected sex..it really only takes one act.(who hasnt had unprotected sex?)- In other other words getting or spreading warts on the genitals would be quite rare through use of the condom. This is my take on it but everyone has a different perspective simply because thier is no concrete evidence.

Now talking about your situation do you still have that small cluster of warts? Did you try to treat it? From what I have read and talked about it is only after the area has completely cleared will you not be contagious...I am not trying to freak you out but you might wanna get them removed if your considering sex again...which I think you should be. I have also found out that warts are more common than the statistics say...what the 1% is refering too is people who have reoccuring breakouts throughout thier life. A lot of people do get warts but have only one breakout and after treatment they dont get anymore.

Going back to the issue of telling or nor telling. I completely understand what your saying about people having the right to know. Although I dont agree on the part of how many partners because for one no one is going to be honest, and what difference is that going to make? You see the problem I have with HPV is that it is a std but no one really knows about it yet almost ever one will have at some point in thier life. You never see commercials for it, you never see it in the newspapers or come across it in conversations about std's. If the public was more informed about it, and everyone knew that the infection rate was so high it would be easier to disclose this information to another. But since most people do not know about they are gonna freak out when they first hear about and maybe try not to even believe it. Do you remeber the first time you heard about HPV? I remeber thinking what the hell? Where did this come from?

I know that I will probably end up telling my potential partners about my condition just because I would feel bad otherwise...and it would always be on my mind. The thing that bothers me though is that if I do tell someone about this they will always have that on me. Eventhough the likelyhood of them having it themselves is high. Do you see what I am getting at here? I know that this is going to effect my sex life and relationships...but I know it is not the end of it. I can understand the way you feel about relationships but I really dont think you should be so hard on yourself. I first found out about HPV in my sexual pyschology class I was taking last semester. YOu know what our teacher told us? He said that he empathizes for our generation because of the high infection rate of all STD's. A lot of people try to make you feel bad about it because it is associated with sex and our whole juedo-christian ethic of monotheism backround goes against pre-marital sex and multiple sex partners. Society wants to make us feel dirty about sex but at the same time sex is everywhere. It is like something is wrong with you if you do not have sex a lot...but also thier is also something wrong with if you have sex too much. But of course their is a lot of gender variances on this as well. Well I am starting to ramble but please continue to share your views.

 
Old 06-10-2005, 02:46 PM   #3
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Re: Clearance time and ethical obligation for HPV.

You seem to share many of the similar views that I do about this society and relationships as well. I do beleive that most people would set something like this aside after they cleared up the symptoms. Heck I bet a lot of them would continue having unprotected sex with others willingly spreading the disease. Some times I fell like I have grown up in the wrong era or nation for that matter. I have always the type of guy to respect a women and beleived in a more traditional lifestyle. I really am disgusted how the world is today; especially in America. To survive here you really have to manipulate and take advantage of others to get ahead, it is really quite sad. I have turned from being a "nice guy," pushover...to more of a "good guy", but that does not take let people take advantage of me.
I dont know if you feel this way but I beleive that what I have to offer to a women is more than any man. The problem these days is that women do not want to be treated good. Well deep down they do but they do not give the guys that would a chance because they associate a man being nice and considerate to being a wimp.
You see when a women finds a man who is nice she thinks that something is wrong with him because he is not treating her like sh&T like all other men. It really is sad to see the society turning the way it is. IT is really barbaric when you think about it. I was thinking about this other day when I heard a guy at work talking about a girl he had sex with the other night and someone asked what the girls name was. He could not remeber and another guy chuckeled and gave him a high five. I was thinking to myself how insane it is that not knowing someone's name after having sex with them is considered cool. OF course I must admit I have had my time of barbaric acts but I have never really been as cruel to the extent of others.

The reason I bring all this up is that now that I have this condition I have lessend the chance of finding that girl has the similar values as me. I know they are out there..I actually met the girl which I would consider the girl to be probably the girl of my dreams. This was at the time when I was uncertain of my disease situation and I lost my chance for a romantic relationship because I did not feel comfortable. But she ended up getting together with my BEST friend...whom in a lot of ways similar to me except for a few key things that not many other guys have to offer. I have become really good friends with this girl and from what I can tell she still really likes me and I think actually wants to be with me. She moved away for this last summer and she has called me a couple of times. One night she was drunk and she told me.."Isnt it weird how I miss you more than my boyfriend." I agreed..but really didnt talk much about after that. It just disheartens me that I know that I could of had her...but she just came into my life at the wrong time...well anyways I am starting to ramble again and going off topic. I do beleive that everything will eventually work out for and I will someday find that special person even through the condition I have.

Last edited by Mr.G; 06-10-2005 at 02:49 PM.

 
Old 06-10-2005, 05:16 PM   #4
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Re: Clearance time and ethical obligation for HPV.

I keep encountering situations where a cute girl seems interested, but I am at a loss to deal with the situation, because of reasons you have mentioned:

what if I tell her about my condition, and then she turns out to not be the right one? Then, as you have also noted, she would have that on me, and that notion just doesn't sit well with me...

I am at a point where I am really trying to decide what do do next...I keep running into the same scenarios, same struggling points...I feel like I've got to do something different,

e.g. don't take the first job they offer ( unless it's really, really good. No wait, maybe even then, just walk away from it, just for the insanity of it )


About relationships though, even though I want that heavy romantic trip,

sometimes I also wish I could just find a cute girl to have fun with, especially when they seem to be everywhere.

 
Old 06-11-2005, 10:13 AM   #5
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Re: Clearance time and ethical obligation for HPV.

Just a few comments:

HPV and genital warts are not equivalent. HPV includes ALL warts, including the ones you can get on your hands and feet and other parts of your body. Do you think a 9-year-old boy with a wart on his foot should be obliged to tell all his future partners that once upon a time he had a wart on his foot? Because technically, he has carried the HPV virus...

My point is that genital warts are HPV, but not all HPV is genital warts, or sexually contracted.

As for an obligation to tell partners, if you have genital warts, I certainly think so. I you had them in the recent past, probably still worth mentioning.

As far as dismissing concern over the chances of contracting cervical cancer from HPV because it's rare and curable, as in therefore no big deal, tell that to all the women who will have to go through the diagnosis and cure. What do you imagine it involves? You make it sound like an asprin would take care of it. This is cancer, and would involve typical cancer treatment, and likely the removal of her cervix. No big deal? Hardly.

In fact for women, just the removal of internal genital warts is supposed to be quite awful compared to what men have to put up with. Maybe it's no big deal for men, but have some consideration for what your prospective partner might have to go through.

 
Old 06-11-2005, 05:39 PM   #6
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Re: Clearance time and ethical obligation for HPV.

OK, I can understand what you are saying here...but I mean over time..like for 2 yrs after your last outbreak and it has all been completey healed..would it still be considerd unethical to not mention it? I am not trying to say that it is not a big deal...because I have been dealing with them for a while now and they are just starting to clear up...but I know that they will be healed soon. I guess I just want to know if I can ever put this behind me? Of course I guess that is impossible because no one really knows a clear cut answer on it. I am just having a hard time dealing with this because I simply know that I have HPV where as most people have it do not know. You see a lot of people will have the strain for genital warts but never produce the symptoms..I dont know it just something that I am having a hard time dealing with. I do care for others and that is why I am trying to get insight from other people before I start seeing women again...I have abstain for quite some time and will continue for even longer...I do not want to give it to anyone.

Last edited by Mr.G; 06-11-2005 at 05:40 PM.

 
Old 06-12-2005, 07:55 AM   #7
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Re: Clearance time and ethical obligation for HPV.

That's a tough call. I think if you are confident that the virus has left your body, you don't have to mention it the way you should mention something ongoing. If you are asked if you've ever had anything in the past, then that's another story. But you sound like a very honorable guy, your honesty should be appreciated.

As for being able to put it behind you, of course you will be able to do that. I think when you no longer have the visible evidence, you'll start to feel better. It's too bad there isn't an obvious time frame and test, the way there is for some other STIs.

I don't think I would freak out if a prospective partner admitted having had them. Actually, I know I wouldn't, but I'm trying to imagine how I'd have reacted if I'd been told before I'd learned so much about STIs... I just remember HPV never really ranked up there as something to worry about. Don't beat yourself up too much. I think what you posted in your first post sounds very reasonable.

 
Old 06-13-2005, 06:05 PM   #8
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Re: Clearance time and ethical obligation for HPV.

I had a chat with my bf before engaging sexual activity. I told him I had the HPV virus. He didn't care of course since he will never be affected with it (I have the cervical type not the wart type) but I told him about it anyways so he was aware. I told everything about the virus and I told him that he probably carries strains of it too. I think it's a good to tell because most people appreciate honesty. If someone I intend to be sexual with has this virus I would like to know so that way I can prepare for it, although I assume now that every guy I intend to be intimate with has the virus. Best thing to do is to save ourselves for only one person.

 
Old 06-13-2005, 09:21 PM   #9
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Re: Clearance time and ethical obligation for HPV.

OK I understand what your saying...although in your case I would automatically assumer that he wouldnt be infected with it...you can carry many strains of the virus including the one for gential warts w/o showing symptoms...not trying to scare yah but tis true. I think it is much easier for people to deal with that actually dont exhibit any symptoms because it probably feels like you dont even have it. I think it is harder for a guy to have the wart type because girls are typically much more critical of STD's than guys are. I dont feel like a girl would see me as the same...they will probably think I am some kind of man **** whot has is irresponsible...when in reality I have been very responsible with my life. O well in time I imagine things will improve.

 
Old 06-14-2005, 08:53 PM   #10
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Re: Clearance time and ethical obligation for HPV.

[QUOTE=sparkleflower]I get the feeling you judge yourself more harshly than anyone else ever would.[/QUOTE

More than you can imagine. I now know why too...the way I was raised..father raised me to feel like I am never good enough..I know that now and I am working on changing my perception of myself.

 
Old 06-14-2005, 11:01 PM   #11
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Re: Clearance time and ethical obligation for HPV.

Just to add though think about STD;s before you got one. They seemed so scary and like only the most dirtiest people got them...also people think of them as the worst case scenrio like the slides you see in your highschool health class. But when you actually get one you realize that they are not too bad because of the treatments available..unless you get HIV or Hep C. I dont know I just know that if you dont have one or dont beleive you have one; you difiently dont want one..and no matter what; people will judge you and jump to conlusions if you have one...despite how you got it. I have already had problems with self worth and getting an STD has amplified 100x.

On the subject matter of STD prevention and knowlege...dont yo wish you guys would have been informed different? I mean what I can remeber from it was that you pretty much would know if someone has an STD...but in reality they are silent..because most will be asymnoptic for so long...I also wished I would have been warned about HPV..I mean I never heard anything about it until this year in my college level sexual health pychology class. I wish I would have been taught what STD;s really were..O well the hindsight is always 20/20

Last edited by Mr.G; 06-14-2005 at 11:09 PM.

 
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