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feeling hopeless about HPV...can anyone help?

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Old 11-17-2005, 03:56 PM   #1
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threethings HB User
feeling hopeless about HPV...can anyone help?

hello all.
i was diagnosed and treated for HPV over 13 years ago. however to this day...i worry about it constantly. i've been told (even by my doc) that it's unlikely that i'd have a recurrence and if i showed signs again it would probably be a new strain. the problem is, every time i get involved with someone i worry about it non stop. every little bump or itch worries me. if i went to the doctor every time i had a bump...i'd be there everyday! i realize the vagina has small bumps on its own (hair follicles, pimples, etc) but i can't seem to get my mind off it. it's been over 13 years!!! i'm currently involved with a new boyfriend. he knows about my "condition" and he is ok with it. the problem is...if i ever gave it to him...i'd be devastated. it worries me to the point of where i ruin relationships. i'm so depressed about this lately. i was recently at the doctor 3 times for something else so i'm assuming if i had something wrong down there..she would've seen it. can anyone offer any advice? i'm just feeling really down about this. i'm stressed and that's going to get to me too. please help if you can.

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Old 11-17-2005, 04:05 PM   #2
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Tarajean HB User
Re: feeling hopeless about HPV...can anyone help?

You are really worrying about this WAY too much. I also had HPV (the wart kind) 14 years ago. I was worried about if for the first few years after diagnosis, but I was told that if there are no new recurrences in 5 years that you are in the clear, so relax! Not to scare you, but I just recently was diagnosed with HPV again--this time the high risk type. i was devastated and thought it was the same virus from 14 years ago. I went to a specialist on HPV in NYC and he looked at all of my records and concluded that it was a completely new infection unrelated to my one in college. I need to just follow up with him every few months to make sure it does not progress and it will eventually leave completely. This docotr said a recurrence after 14 years would be absolutley bizarre and that people with "recurrences" after all of those years are most likely exposed to something new. I hope I have helped you a bit. Enjoy your sex life and don't worry about your boyfriend. I have been with the same man for 12 years and dhe has never caught anything from me. I also had 2 kids along the way--no problems!

Old 11-17-2005, 04:11 PM   #3
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Re: feeling hopeless about HPV...can anyone help?

oh wow...thank you SO much for this message. it made me so happy i'm close to tears. i'm a very sensitive person and i like to put other people before myself which is why i constantly fear that i will pass this on. it hurts me to think that i caught this from my very first boyfriend (who was not very nice on top of that) and i really think i need counseling even after all these years. i want so bad to have children but i feel like i'm tainted. i appreciate your message so much. i feel like i can breathe a sigh of relief. thank you.
btw....13 years ago i was diagnosed with both types...bad pap and warts. i have been fine ever since but again...i'm paranoid!!

Old 11-17-2005, 05:20 PM   #4
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Re: feeling hopeless about HPV...can anyone help?

You are waaaaay to cautious. 13 years? Your HPV is LONG gone. It's usually gone within months, longest time is usually 2 years. You have been worrying yourself silly for nothing...

The usual statistic is that 75% of the population will be exposed to HPV at one point in their lives. This does not mean that all these people will carry it around for the rest of their lives.

As your doctor said, if you ever show symptoms again, it will most likely (if not postively) be from a new exposure to a different strain. Please stop worrying about your past HPV. It is no longer an issue and I don't think I'm out of line in saying that there is no need to warn future partners about your 'condition' because you have no condition. It would be like warning people you had chicken pox years ago.

Old 11-17-2005, 05:25 PM   #5
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Re: feeling hopeless about HPV...can anyone help?

my doctor had told me the same thing!! the problem is, i worry a lot and i care for other people. i would never ever want to put someone in harms way.

i appreciate everyone's comments. i really do. this has really helped me. i was starting to really feel down on myself. thank you to all and i hope this also helps people who currently have HPV. there is hope. if i can ever help anyone else out..please let me know.

Old 11-17-2005, 06:21 PM   #6
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ChrissyBU HB User
Re: feeling hopeless about HPV...can anyone help?

Hey threethings,

You have helped me a lot with my questions so I thought that I would butt in here. Be in love girl!!! Why are you so stressed about this? You should feel lucky that you have gotten rid of the virus and that you did not catch a worse strain or god forbid, something worse that could truly threaten your life. Serious, you are doing great and stressing about this should not be your top priority. Think about it this way, you say that you are so worried about giving it to your partner and you care so much about people that it worries you, WELL- your partner knows the risks, (which there are none since you have already cleared the virus) so he has assumed responsiblity as well. Also too, do you think that he would want you to feel so terribly about yourself and be stressing out about this when he does not care at all. You should be out having a great time with the man that loves you? See! This is silly. You are not dirty, you read my rant about that whole thing. You told me yourself that it is a stigma and it is mostly associated with women. Don't contribute to the stigma by thinking this way about yourself. Vow to change people's thinking by starting with yourself.

Ok, so lets just say "What if?" you did, by the one in a million chance that you did give him the virus. Yeah, it is not very cool but what is the worst that could happen? Really think about it in the grand scheme of things and all of the real dangers out there? He could get a wart or two... well that is not the worst thing that could happen to him..seriously. everyone has said, you don't carry the virus anymore. So there you have it. You have wasted the last 13 years stressing. Why not start the next 13 by not stressing and enjoying the love that you have found. Enjoy your life and your body. It is a beautiful gift meant to bring you tons of pleasure. ENJOY it! You deserve it.

Take care,

Old 11-17-2005, 06:57 PM   #7
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Re: feeling hopeless about HPV...can anyone help?

thanks chrissy (and again to everyone else). i feel so much better now. i appreciate your comments. i know...i always say "it's a stigma" but i have a hard time accepting even my own words when it comes to this whole thing. it has just been really hard on me. i'm going to try and start putting it all behind me. for a while, it was behind me....but whenever i start up a new relationship, it creeps into my thoughts...a lot. i'm going to attempt to move on. i can't worry about it non is too short. thank you to all! if anyone needs anything let me know!!!

Old 11-18-2005, 12:15 AM   #8
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Hazel_Eyes HB User
Re: feeling hopeless about HPV...can anyone help?

If you have not experienced recurrences at 6 years - Its long gone!!! 13 years - goodness! I think you just need to accept the fact that you are fine!

Old 11-18-2005, 06:37 AM   #9
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Re: feeling hopeless about HPV...can anyone help?

thank you! i know...i'm a worrier. it's bad. thank you for your comments.

Old 11-23-2005, 08:42 AM   #10
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lalu2005 HB User
there is a lot ov conflicting advice out there
my advice to u is
have regular smear checks like anually,
have sexual health checkups regular
phone free sexual health helplines eg. [ deleted ]
and u can talk to a nurse at yre sexual health clinic on tel.
i had a mild outbreak only one in 10 years got it from my ex ov 7years. ive been researchin alot - from what i gather its a virus that remains latent within u and is contagious with or without outbreaks. but u should consult professional doctors for profess advice. im stil researchin aswel to get more informed.
u r worrying far too much though- call those free numbers and talk it all through with someone it helps alot. read my posting and replies - sexually transmitted diseases - genital warts- lalu2005 remember that all replies r not from professionals so get proffess advice and the more informed u r the more u can look after yourself and find some peace ov mind.
take care

Last edited by Mod-S4; 11-25-2005 at 05:57 AM. Reason: Off-board contact info of any kind of not allowed. Reminder: please do not type with excessive short form/slang.

Old 11-28-2005, 01:03 PM   #11
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br0wniecrombie HB User
Re: feeling hopeless about HPV...can anyone help?

I got genital warts last july and got rid of them last november 2004 and havent had a break out since and all my paps came back negative for the cancerous types.. so does this mean that i am rid of hpv? i still dont understand any of this really.. so nerve racking cus i hear different stories all the time... dont know what to beleive anymore.... how do u know if your body is rid of it anyways

Old 11-28-2005, 03:13 PM   #12
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soon2bmommy HB User
Re: feeling hopeless about HPV...can anyone help?

brownie- your body has probably built up it's immunity to it now

Old 11-28-2005, 04:47 PM   #13
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Mom22greatkids HB User
Re: feeling hopeless about HPV...can anyone help?

To the people who say the virus is long gone after so many years: I got an abnormal pap and hpv diagnosis after 12 years of being with my husband. I am absolutely certain there was no cheating. So at the time I had it for at least 12 years, probably more. The virus does stay with you forever. It can stay dormant or it may react, especially if your immune system is down for any reason. This is why it is so important to stay on top of your paps.

Old 11-28-2005, 05:40 PM   #14
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threethings HB User
Re: feeling hopeless about HPV...can anyone help?

i agree that you MUST get paps....but i believe once you actually "show" symptoms, your body eventually gets ahold of the virus and you can become outbreak free for the rest of your days. in your case, your virus didn't actually "come out" for all those years...but your body should get ahold of it from now on and hopefully you will be symptom free after treatment. good luck. this has been very stressful for me and after close to 14 years i think i've finally learned to just accept it and move on.

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