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Human Papillomavirus (HPV) Message Board
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Old 06-10-2006, 09:35 AM   #1
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HPV Moral Dilemma

Hi,

My younger brother has had HPV for the last 2 years now... He recently told me about and we've been sharing an apartment for the last year.

At first I was worried I might pick something up as we both share a washroom, and didnt know if the virus could transmit from towels or whatever but from what im told you cant.

Anyways, just recently he's been talking about inviting this girl over who is a friend of a friend of mine. From the sounds of things, he will use protection but not going to turn her away if she goes down on him. THerefore she will get HPV. right?

A doctor once told my brother that if someone is willing to sleep with you on a first night then there's a good chance they already have it. so that is his attitude. But she's only 20 and he's 28 and i dont know how to tell her not to be with him, without saying "my brother has an std"

I respect my brother but i think he's going to far in assuming she already has it, and will most likely give it to her. He's also told me of the 6 or 7 girls he's been with since he's had it, none of had any symptoms even though they all been unprotected. SHould i just tell him to use protection and not let her go down on her, or should I get try and get her to not come over and if so how... this is tonight so any advice as soon as possible would be great.

Thanks,

Gwq

 
Old 06-10-2006, 09:35 PM   #2
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Re: HPV Moral Dilemma

I know he is your brother...family...but this is pretty serious. You cannot assume that this girl already has the virus, that's not fair to her. And just because none of the other girls are showing symptoms...doesnt mean a thing...hpv can be dormant or not show any signs and then lead to cervical cancer. I would definetly try to convince your brother not to do anything...or at least be honest with this new girl. She should be informed before do anything that could put her health in jeapardy. I hope everything works out for you.

 
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Old 06-11-2006, 12:41 PM   #3
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Re: HPV Moral Dilemma

Even using protection you Can still transmit the virus. It is so small that condoms are no use in helping prevent it. Your brother should be more up front and honest about it if he plans on sleeping with girls. It effects us worse then them. We are the ones getting cancer. We are the ones dying from it. NOt him. Ugg this gets me so mad because I have it and only have been wtih 3 people in my life. One of them now is my fiance. And no I waited to sleep with them too. So he can't just go on well if she is willing to sleep with me on the first date thought. He is ridiculous. He could be killing someone for one night of pleasure. Tell him I said so!

 
Old 06-11-2006, 09:23 PM   #4
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Re: HPV Moral Dilemma

I agree. you should really talk to your brother. Just because a girl sleeps with a guy on the first date does NOT mean she has hpv. Plus, condoms dont protect against crap. Maybe pregnancy, but thats it. Even if warts aren't visible, he is still contagious (I got them from someone who had NEVER had an outbreak) You sound like a good guy, and it seems your brother should respect you, not the other way around. I hope your brother and your friend make wise descisions, but if they dont, then at least you did your part to help them.

 
Old 06-11-2006, 11:35 PM   #5
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Re: HPV Moral Dilemma

Thanks for the input. Well, as weird as this is, I encouraged him to go out and drink with us instead. Convinced him she was dumb and annoying... which she isn't but it worked. It's difficult because he would probably get in a fist fight with me if I told someone he had hpv... Yet at the same time, i suppose that would be better than him sleeping with someone and giving them the virus. Ah life. Hell he touches himself enough, im worried im gonna get it from a high five or something. that's not possible... is it...

 
Old 06-12-2006, 06:23 AM   #6
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Re: HPV Moral Dilemma

ha ha! high five

 
Old 06-17-2006, 09:07 PM   #7
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Re: HPV Moral Dilemma

he needs to stop and think because if the guy(my ex) stopped to think, I would have never had gotten HPV...

 
Old 06-24-2006, 08:42 PM   #8
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guyw1thquestion HB User
Re: HPV Moral Dilemma

i think i may have it now... unreal. just out of a 4 year relationship and bam!

 
Old 06-25-2006, 11:45 AM   #9
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Re: HPV Moral Dilemma

It is all good that this time you stopped your brother and saved a girl from possible HPV infection but what about next time?

Your brother needs to see not only that he has a moral obligation, but a legal obligation to tell someone he plans to sleep with that he has an STD. If he does sleep with someone and doesn't tell them about his STD and she gets the STD and finds out he knew all along he could be in very serious legal trouble.

I have HPV and Herpes and am a 34 year old stay at home mom. I've been around enough to know these things. You brother needs to know he has to tell whoever he sleeps with regardless of if he thinks the girl has it or not. It is emberessing but if the person likes you that they will likely be ok with it as long as there is protection used. I've been married for 5 and a half years and dated my husband 9 months before our wedding. We started having sex early on in our dating relationship but before we had sex I sat my husband down and told him straight out what I had, the chances he could get it, etc.... He was cool with all of it and it was relieving to know he knew and we could go on and enjoy each other.

Your brother is headed for trouble. This is how the disease is spread, by irresponsible dumb young adults. Hopefully he will make the right choices in the future.

 
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