HPV= No Sex Life=My Relationship With My Boyfriend Is Dying - Human Papillomavirus (HPV) Message Board

PiercedPunkette · 04-20-2007, 02:02 AM

I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and 2 months now. We use to have a good sex life before I found out I have HPV in February. With HPV you can't have sex at all, not even oral. Only touching and rubbing. It's killing my relationship and sex drive/life. Masturbating each other is getting so old. It's like there's no spark anymore. I don't know what to do about it. It's depressing me and I'm becoming distant from my boyfriend because I feel unattractive and dirty. I also feel guilty for possibly giving him HPV. He says he loves me just the same but I don't feel the same. I don't want to hurt my boyfriend anymore and I don't want him to suffer because of me. What do I do?

Aryes517 · 04-20-2007, 07:39 AM

Hi...
Im not sure who told you that you cant have sex with HPV, but that is not true at all.

First HPV is transmitted by skin to skin contact, so if you have been with your bf before being dx with HPV he most likely already has it and may even be the one who gave it to you. If you have the dysplasia or warts taken care of and take care of yourself the virus can clear or go into remission. There are different medical opinions about this so you need to speak to your dr. If you have the strain that causes cervical dysplasia you may or may not also have one of the strains that causes warts. Your dr can tell you which type you have.

Men can carry the virus without ever showing any symptoms, but from what i understand they can be tested. The latest statisitics that i have read states that 85% of the population have HPV and dont even know it.

I know you also post on the cervical board, that is where you will get the most up to date info.

Hope this helps

jen52983 · 04-20-2007, 07:57 AM

As the previous poster already said, it's very untrue that you can't have sex b/c of HPV.

In alot of cases HPV clears up on it's own. My sister was told she had HPV when she was about 18 (now 26). I don't know specifically which stran she had.. but every pap after that came back regular.. and every STD test after that came back negative. No signs of HPV.

It's very likely that your BF is the one that gave it to you, or already has it. Guys basically show no signs of this STD.. they're just carriers.

So you're sex life doesn't have to end. I understand your feelings of being dirty and feeling guilty.. but your emotions are more of the problem then the HPV itself. Just follow through with appointments, do some research.. and you'll see that you're sex life doens't end here!

Thisby · 04-20-2007, 09:10 AM

I agree with the others.

You have been terribly mis-informed! If you and your bf were having any sexual relations before your diagnosis, I will guarantee you 99.99999% that he already has it. And for all you know, he's the one who gave it to you. One of you had to come into the relationship with it (it doesn't just spring up on its own) so the other partner was probably infected right away, and it only took until Feb for it to show up on your PAP.

You should probably read up about HPV, how it's transmitted, how common it is, etc., etc.

Please feel free to return to your normal sexual activities, stop feeling 'dirty' and don't worry for a second about having given it to him (or vice versa), it's too common an STD to be thinking that, and it's already done.

Gurv · 04-20-2007, 01:18 PM

Like the others said, there is NO REASON you two can't have sex...especially since you already have.

My ex-girlfriend told me she had HPV, and her doc said for us to continue normally as we always have.

Skarn