I have met a girl with HPV, previously had warts, only outbreak 2 years ago, HELP - Human Papillomavirus (HPV) Message Board

chieftan79 · 05-18-2007, 02:21 PM

Hi really sorry to trouble you all but I am desperately in need of help as I am handling a situation really badly.

I have been dating a girl for around a month but I have known her about ten years. We hadn't had intercourse yet and one night when smooching she stopped and said he had some important news.

She told me that she was living with an ex and found out that he had been cheating on her, she went to the docs when some warts appeared and she had been given genital warts. So basically she has got warts and all for putting her trust in the guy she lived with. I sort of totally over reacted and was in complete shock. Its been another cpl of months now and I still really dont know what to do. I really like her but am so scared of getting warts and have told her, basically I have treated her like an alien and made her feel awful which I really regret.

There has only been one outbreak of warts and that was two years ago. I really want to get serious with her but obviously a relationship needs sex. I hear even with a condom I can get warts and this scares me. What happens if it doesnt work out, how would another girl feel if I told her that I had contracted warts. Does the warts virus never leave the blood stream?

What is the risks if I have sex with her using a condom, is there a high chance that I could contract the virus, she has regular check ups and there have been no external or internal warts in two years?

I really hope you can help as I have no where to turn too and won't tell any friends for obvious reasons.

Vividangel1984 · 06-05-2007, 04:23 PM

If she had warts two years ago and have been clear since then. I don't think its necessary to worry about getting it. I think its a good thing that she told you. I also have HPV/genital warts and I got them when I was dating a guy. He was a virgin so it wasn't from him. I was so worried about how he would react. Knowing that I exposed him to the virus. He didn't care and still wanted to be with me. We are both 24 years old and mature adults. Hpv is no big deal. Doctors now believe that after 6-12 months of being clear the body will eradicate the virus or it will still be in the body but the risk of transmission is very low. Even if you do get it, chances are you might get it from someone else. Everyone has hpv, just some people like me...develop symptoms from it. It doesn't make me dirty or ****ty. I just got it from someone that wasn't honset with me. Fact is, no wart lasts forever. And even if you ever do develop hpv and someone doesn't want to be with you for that. Then they don't deserve you. They are obviously immature.

lovely412 · 07-02-2007, 08:20 PM

I think that making her feel so aweful is really bad. So try to not do that because she isn't an alien.
This is a very very common thing. I was diagnosed last year and have been dating my bf for 2 years. He was upset but then said "you know I could have it too so we will just deal with this together". He was very understanding in which I am very lucky.
I was so upset and scared when I found out. But like in the previous post...if she hasn't had an outbreak in 2 years that is a very good thing. My outbreak was small. My doctor said it was the mildest case he had ever seen and that it may never come back once I was treated. And I havent had a problem with it since. My PAP test have also all come back fine. My doctor says mine isn't the kinds that causes cancer.
I would recommend that you use a condom. But more than likely she is perfectly fine and may never have another outbreak in her entire life. So I give you the green light. Also, guys that have it usually never know because guys usually never show ANY symptoms.
Good luck.
Trust your heart

LAgirl81 · 07-02-2007, 09:25 PM

Hi,

Read the other posts on this board regarding HPV. You'll see that it's quite common and hard to avoid. By the way, how do you know you don't have HPV yourself? Just because you haven't exhibited any signs (warts) doesn't mean you don't have it already (or more than one type). Most men won't exhibit ANY symptoms and very few men who carry the low risk strain have warts. Unfortunately, we women are the ones who carry the brunt of the problems regarding HPV. We can develop cervical cancer if we don't get regular pap smears.

In any case, if you are concerned, remember that wearing condoms will help somewhat against transmission of HPV, but even condoms don't protect you fully. If she hasn't had an outbreak in 2 years, then you should be okay to have sex.

Also, the penis' skin and the skin in the male genital region is much thicker than the vaginal skin, making wart growth typically more difficult in men than in women.

So try not to worry too much. You really should not try and stigmatize the poor girl for having HPV-- chances are, you had it before you met her. And chances are if you don't stay with this girl, the next girl you date will have it, too. Read the statistics on HPV-- practically every sexually active person has it/has had it but they just don't know about it b/c they have no physical symptoms. Good luck!