Informing partners. - Human Papillomavirus (HPV) Message Board

sam76 · 01-16-2008, 12:05 AM

I have a date this week with a guy I've been interested in for about four months. We've been back and forth innocently flirting for just as long, so I'm pretty excited. But I won't lie - having HPV makes me nervous if/when I have to tell him... if it ever gets to that point. That's definitely something I don't feel obligated to share right away... because it's obviously easier if you get to know the person first and find a good time to tell them before it escalates to sexual connotations. I would never ever withold that information about myself - just not sure how to bring it up.

I've been on here trying to give other people advice with what I know about HPV because, well, I like to share the information I've gathered with others who are now in the position I was in five months ago - however, I've never had to tell any potential partners about this. So I'm a little worried.

Can anyone share with me their experiences having to inform their partners? How did you approach the subject matter and what were the reactions? Good and bad stories welcome.

SDH · 01-17-2008, 01:34 AM

I only informed 1 person, my girlfriend which of whom I just dumped last night. It sucked, she cried and everything, she thought she might get cancer or something. But now I got to tell this other girl, she's 24, she's got a 4 year old kid, and she hasnt returned my phone calls since the two days after we slept together. The worst part, I went to get a STD test after we slept together, so I didn't know I was infected. I'm scared to tell her, but I don't know how I can when she doesn't answer the phone, or call me back like she says she will. I hope you the best of luck with your situation. Tell him it's not as bad as it seems, it's only telling the truth if you think about it. It's true a lot of people carry the virus, he may already be infected for all he knows. Just bring some fact sheets with you in your purse or something, so he has a better understanding, and doesn't think your sugar-coating. Good-luck.

rachel88 · 01-17-2008, 09:34 AM

thats just how I feel, I just found out that I had hpv and I haven't told anyone. I had to of gotten it from my ex boyfriend who I'm no longer speaking with but i feel like I cant even date anyone.. I guess I'm still really upset about it and haven't really found a way i can get passed it I dont really have that much information on it but from what I do know.. its something i will have forever and that scares me so much! Also i was wondering does it cause cramps? cuz I have cramps all of time and bad ones too I was just wondering?

rosequartz · 01-17-2008, 09:36 AM

I wouldn't inform anyone.......
it's not that big of a deal, most people have it and don't even realize it.

sam76 · 01-17-2008, 09:40 AM

Yeah I read your post... I'm sorry it came to that. I hope she gets some peace of mind because although HPV is highly contagious, it doesn't mean she has it. She shouldn't be freaking out so badly until she goes to the doctor and has a check-up. Have you told this other girl in a voicemail that it's important she return your call because you really need to talk to her? If so and she doesn't get back to you, what are you supposed to do, really? It takes two to be responsible. It sounds like you're being noble about it and doing your part.

Yeah, it's kind of funny actually because I was on the bus at the university today and I noticed a copy of our school paper sitting behind me. It had a front-page article about HPV in it, so I read it and kept the copy to put with the rest of my information. Having this stuff on hand definitely comes in handy for people when you have to talk to them about it... and I suppose it looks like you're well prepared when you have to break the news, so to speak.

Thanks for your reply. Good luck to you, too.