last tuesday I got back my pap and was diagnosed with HPV. Im having a really really hard time dealing with it. My gyno just wanted to say "Its really common" over and over again and instead of making me feel better about it, it just made my anxiety and worry even stronger every time she said it.
I understand it is very common, and I am coming here in hopes someone who's been diagnosed as well can give me some advice as to how to cope with learning you have HPV.
I'm 21 and I've only had sex with 2 people in my life. My ex (of 4 years) and my fiance.
My fiance and I have already had sex (and so I know it's possible he could be the one who gave it to me...or I could have gave it to him) so he has it as well. He's been very sympathetic and still wants to marry me and still says he loves me no matter what but I'm having such a hard time dealing with having it. I just feel dirty.
I've had a horrible time with this, and I just keep dwelling on things, and regrets. I feel unattractive and guilty when I even have sexual feelings anymore. I don't want to go for any of my hopes or dreams...it's like I feel like I'm a totally different person now from who I was before I found this out.
My fiance always tells me I'm not, I'm still the same person. But I just don't feel it. I felt so alive before I found out I have HPV. And I have so many questions about HPV because I've talked to my gyno and looked on websites but there's still so many things I don't understand.
My gyno told me if I wanted to have children in the future there wouldn't be a problem with that. I could still have kids. How is this possible? Won't I pass it on to my children? After I take the shots, will that "cure" me of it? I thought it would always be with me and in my system as long as I live since it's a virus, am I wrong? And, I was told if my guy and I are monogamous with each other...I can't be re-infected once I start the shots...(like we can't give it back and forth to each other) is that correct.
The main thing though even after all the questions is just I really don't understand how to deal with it. It's on my mind every day, every minute, every second, after I wake up. I can't quit thinking about it. I cry all the time. I don't want to do anything anymore. I don't want to pursue any dreams. I don't want to partake in my hobbies. I just want to sit in my room all day while I'm at home. And while I'm out and and college and other places, I find it hard to be normal. I'm very withdrawn and socially awkward now.
Please can anyone give me some advice?
Last edited by Whisper128; 04-01-2008 at 01:25 PM.
((((((((bighugforyou)))))))))))))) I understand how you feel exactly. I was feeling the same way when the dr first told me. I first thought I have what??????? What the heck is hpv? Here is my thinking. They have this new shot out. So all i hear about now is hpv & cervical cancer. What happen before that? Did women just walk around with it and not know it? I am guessing you have low risk type?
Yes it is true that once you have it have have already been with your fiance, you both have it and it cant be passed back and forth. So dont worry about re-infecting, I made sure to ask about that.
Your immune system can control this virus. Make sure you take a good multivitamin, eat lots of antioxidant foods. Example-- broccoli,blueberries,tomatos,red grapes,garlic,spinach,carrots --- vitamins A,C,E folic acid. Stop smoking --- although this I havent been successful at. I had a bad weekend. Didnt take care of myself. I guess kinda let loose. Was so tired of worrying .
Hpv can be treated when caught early. Its not the end of the world. You are so young.You are getting the shot, You have a fiance. You will be fine.
Someone told me once--- Think of it as a really bad cold--- hpv is a virus that is treatable. Imagine if we didnt know? At least drs are npow able to test, treat and sometimes cure it. Or sometimes your immune system fights it off after a couple of yrs.
So dont be crazy-- youre doing the right thing by seeing the dr. Thats most important. regular paps, take your virtamins, try not to stress. Your not a dirty person. next time you go to college think to yourself, i bet half the women and guys here have hpv and dont even know it. Its so common. It really is. Keep up on your health. Enjoy yourself. I have learned that there are so many other importnat things in my life to think about, like my 4 children. i wish you the best. Keep your head high. You will see better days ahead that I promise =)
HPV is a very broadly spread group of virii - some strains are responsible for the common wart. Others cause genital warts (eww) and I'm presuming the one you have may do nothing besides increase your risk of cervical cancer slightly, which is why it came up on a pap smear.
The lowest estimate I have seen for HPV prevalence in the adult age range is 25%. The highest estimate is 80%. A 2007 study put the infection rate among 20 to 24 year olds at 45%. So you're worrying about something that causes no symptoms and a large chunk of the population has it anyway!
Your only problem is that you're worked up over it. It's like getting worked up over E Coli, a bacteria that is everywhere and usually causes no problems. You won't pass it on to your children, it doesn't even matter if you do nothing about it.
Your partner has been very understanding of it so far, he is telling you it doesn't make any difference because it doesn't!! However, for the sake of your own mental health and the sake of your relationship you need to move on and get past this. It's nothing, people have had HPV for thousands of years and never even known about it. Half your girlfriends probably have it. Maybe your grandma has it. Who knows, but it doesn't cause any problems.
Get out there and have some fun, have a few drinks with your friends and give your poor boyfriend some sexy time. Life's too short to worry about something you can't change, especially something that causes no ill-effects besides the self-inflicted one of worrying about it!!
I can understand your pain, and how you feel, last year I went home to visit my family, and I had sexual relatioinship with what I thought a close friend, before I moved we were together on a regular basic, something just didn't feel right, but I couldn't put my fingers on it, then later on I started having this unusal pain in my stomach and my side, I started having a discharge, so I went to see my doctor and I also was diagnosed with HPV, my life has changed I cry all the time, I feel dirty, my life has changed so much, I met someone who really cares about me and he's always telling me he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me, but how do I tell him my situation, he doesn't pressure me about sex and we have not been sexual active yet, I don't know what to do, sometimes I close my eyes and wish that it would all go away, Its so hard, you don't want to talk to anyone about it, because you don't want people judging you.
When I see that commercial about Valtrex, the people looks so happy, I guess we have to tryin deal with it and go on with our lives, take one day at a time, I know it's easy said then done, but what else can we do. I pray all the time, becasue I truly need strength and help from the lord I can get to deal with this.
I hope everything works out for you, and if your fiancee, says he loves you no matter what, go for it, at least he understands, and remember there are medications that can help us keep it under control.
Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement...Im still very scared and I have no clue whats going on though.
I actually got a written copy in my hands today of my results and I really dont know how to read them. My gyno made it seem like I just had very small amount of the hpv traces and etc, and now I've been upset all day because it's like she tried to sugar coat it now that I look at the paper. I don't know how to read it but I can pretty much guess it's not good.
it says Diagnosis:
Epithelial cell abnormality
low-grade squamous intraepithelial lesion
(LGSIL) Human Papillomavirus effect is present
High risk POSITIVE
this high risk hpv test detects thirteen high risk types
what does this all mean?
That just says the test can detect those right?
Then how will I ever know which ones I have?
But it still means Im high risk so thats scary
Last edited by Whisper128; 04-01-2008 at 02:06 PM.
Reason: more add ons
All that test result means is that some HPV was detected out of the group of HPV varieties considered high-risk for causing cervical cancer. It just means you have one of those 13 types, which one isn't really important.
The LGSIL just means you have some slightly abnormal cells. Most of the time these will be removed by your immune system.
So what the test basically means is you have a viral infection that is extremely common, it causes no symptoms, and there are a few slightly abnormal cells that you need to keep an eye on over the next few years by having annual pap tests.