Well I was just diagnosed this morning and I'm a complete wreck. I don't have much info, I don't know what strain, high or low risk, etc. All I know is I have HPV and the nurse told me not to worry, it's common, etc. She was so non-chalant about it. So, I know nothing really. I'm kind of freaking out!
She scheduled a colposcopy for May 13th at 10 am. I'm assuming this is a normal procedure after a diagnosis?
I have never had any warts so I'm not certain if I have that strain or not. I have had 2 long term relationships in my life, and neither partner has ever had warts. I know sometimes they don't show up and you can still have that strain, but anyhow the 3 of us never have had any phsyical symptoms like that.
The part that has me most concerned is obviously the health factor. I want to be healthy. But even though I know I do not lead a high risk lifestyle, and even though this is very common, I have to be honest and I do feel embarrassed, ashamed, gross even. I assume this is a normal reaction for any person who finds out they have an STD. I'm trying to let that go of course.
They didn't tell me anything when they called, honestly. Mostly it was the nurse saying that at my appt. the doctor will answer all my questions. She wasn't even going to tell me I had HPV. She was going to just say the cells were abnormal. I had to push her to get her to tell me what the abnormality was, and even then she said it wasn't a big deal. Not a big deal? To who? It's a big deal to me!
I don't really have one specific question. I guess I'm looking for support, for any tips on dealing with this, on where I should go from here, ect. Is the colposcopy painful? What is life like after HPV? Should my fiance and I refrain from sex? Should we simply use condoms? What about getting pregnant someday? We were hoping to try for a baby right after our wedding, which would put us at about 1 year to 18 months from trying to conceive. With HPV, do I need pap smears every 6 months as opposed to 12? Do you ladies find that like some of the websites say, the HPV virus clears up on its own over time? What kinds of questions should I ask my doctor?
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I apologize if its long. I really am not sure where to turn from here or what the future looks like for me.
I do have one question to add as well. I've just spent the better part of an hour reading the threads on this site and they did provide much info. My question though is that I got the impression that many women get the one abnormal pap result, and then after that they repeat the pap in 4 to 6 months and only have a biopsy and colposcopy if that second repeat pap comes out abnormal again. It seems like few people that discussed colposcopy ended up having it so soon after that first abnormal pap. Does it seem normal to have the colp. and biopsy given only one abnormal result? Now I have to say, I'm wondering how "abnormal" these results are, and it has me a little freaked. I'm going to ask for a copy of the pathology report at my appointment on May 13th so I can be more informed. I cannot tell if my doctor is following normal procedure or if they're scheduling the biopsy because of a high abnormality? I think maybe I should stop scaring myself and just try to relax! It's so hard though.
Thank you for your reply. I think my biggest mistake this morning was having the mouth-wide-open sort of response where I just kind of sat there stunned and didn't ask many questions. She wasn't even going to tell me it was HPV and I had to ask her twice what kind of abnormalities were found. The only question I asked the nurse was "How serious is this, because honestly I'm really terrified right now." Her response was that "Oh, it's really not a big deal, it's very common." It kind of irked me that she was so non-chalant about all of it, because to me this is most definitely a big deal!
Thank you for the links, I'll check them out.
Ultimately until I talk to the doctor and get more information I really won't do much but worry myself sick. I'm trying not to put too much importance into the fact that they're doing the biopsy immediately, rather than repeating the pap smears and following the results for a while to see if they worsen. In my nervous brain I keep thinking it must be really bad for them to move so quickly. I can't seem to shake that fear that something is terribly wrong.
I need to sit down and talk with my fiance and I really hope he comes with me that day. Obviously he probably has it, so and a lot of my questions pertain to our sexual health as a couple and our sexual health in the future. The only reason he wouldn't come with me is because of his boss being kind of a jerk sometimes and not letting him take the time off. I hope that since we have a month's notice that he'll let Mark have that day off to be with me.
I really just feel so upset and down about this. I'm really scared. I hope with time and more education I can feel better about this whole situation.
[QUOTE=April7;3525825] Ultimately until I talk to the doctor and get more information I really won't do much but worry myself sick.
Good idea - I don't mean to minimize your feelings or anything but try to remember that Paps are run for this very reason - to discover things VERY early on, which you have. As for your sexual health and future - I'm not sure what you mean by that or what your fears are, but if you aren't planning on learning more about it (there really is a great deal of very informative and factual websites out there) - then your doctor is your best bet. I'm just the kind of person who researches anything and everything - whether it be my own health or that of my loved ones, the health and nutrition of my dog, etc.
Though a doctor can give you a lot of info - different doctors also have various opinions, so I feel I have a choice in the matter as well and I always want to learn everything I possibly can before I see a doctor about a particular subject or health issue.
Best of luck to you - I am sure you will be just fine, millions of people have HPV and are no worse for it because it either went away on its own or if it did cause a problem they had it taken care of (i.e. cells with cervical dysplasia removed, etc).
The American Social Health Association reported estimates that about 75% of sexually active Americans will be infected with HPV at some point in their lifetime and according to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), by the age of 50 more than 80% of American women will have contracted at least one strain of genital HPV.
So you are not alone - infact you are one of the majority.
I think you completely misunderstood me and I apologize for that. I'm researching and I'm educating myself A LOT! However, I don't know what my pathology report says. I don't know what kind of HPV I have, so I cannot possibly be fully educated before I see my doctor. I wasn't implying that I refused to do research and would only listen to what my doctor says. That is completely absurd. However, until she tells me the specifics, my research will only go so far. Does my HPV lead to cancer, or is it the strain that causes warts? That's what I mean by being nervous until I see my doctor. I don't know the specifics of MY case just yet. Online research is great but a website isn't going to tell me what my own pathology is. Only my doctor can. Does that clarify better? And until I know if I have a strain that causes warts, or causes cancer, etc. I'm naturally going to be nervous. You can do specific, narrowed-down research because you know your specific pathology. I only meant that until I get that vital piece of info I'm going to be nervous. I feel as though that is a completely natural reaction to have, but apparently not?
And as far as my sexual health is concerned, I mean things like should my husband and I always use condoms for the rest of our lives? Will we pass it back and forth? Should I wait to have a baby instead of trying to conceive in 2009? If we get divorced and have new sexual partners, will we always have to use condoms? Those are very important questions and concerns. My online research has touched upon those topics, but again, without knowing what strain of HPV I have, and what the condition of my cervix is, how can a website tell me concretely the answers to some of those questions? To not take it very seriously, and to not worry about my sexual health and the health of any current or future sexual partners is, in my opinion, terribly irresponsible. Obviously the reason so many Americans have HPV is because it's easily transmitted and because people are not being as careful as they maybe could be. I am a classic example. I love Mark, we are getting married, I am on the pill, so I stopped using condoms. I always got pap smears and we were both HIV negative so I didn't think twice about not using condoms. It's not like I was irresponsible and I'm not trying to say anyone is irresponsible for getting HPV. But my point is that now that I have it, I want to know how to protect Mark or future partners so that I am not responsible for spreading it to other people. In no way do I think anyone has done anything wrong to contract HPV. But I do believe that if you have HPV it's your responsibility to protect your sexual partners. So, obviously the sexual health and sexual future of any woman with HPV should be, in my opinion, a very important subject.
I'm not ignorant. I have spent time educating myself about this. I know a lot of the statistics and general info about HPV, and I will continue to educate myself as much as I can. But realistically, I've known for just over 24 hours that I have an STD. Education is great, but I'm still emotional about this. And again, I feel like my reaction is normal. It's only been a day! Just because such a high percentage of women have it does not mean that I'm okay with the fact that I have it. Nobody wants an STD. Ultimately I'll deal with it just fine, but seriously it's only been one day and I'm scared, and I feel like I'm justified in feeling emotional. I got the flu in January and had a fever for 8 days. I was very sick. Just because I knew the flu wasn't going to kill me and eventually it would go away on its own, I still felt mildly emotionally upset to be as sick as I was. I really think being upset is kind of a normal reaction to finding out you're sick. If you let it take over your life that's one thing, but I've only known about this for one day! I can't just forget about like it's no big deal yet. I'm sure even a week from now I'll feel a lot better, but I'm devastated today. I feel very justified in that, I really do. Maybe that makes me a weak person, but I can't change who I am.
If this in any way sounds defense that's because it probably is. I feel very defensive and I apologize for that. I know you are speaking and writing from experience, and you are very educated. I appreciate you responding to me so much. I get the impression that you're talking down to me though, and it honestly bothers me. Perhaps I'm overreacting and if I am I truly apologize. I have not had very much time to digest this information. I'm scared and rightfully so, and though I do appreciate all the time you took out of your day to respond to me, I guess I was a bit upset that your reply seemed to insinuate that I shouldn't be upset because so many people have it and chances are I'll be just fine. Now I feel like a huge baby who's worried and being told I'm wrong for worrying and wrong for wanting the specific info from a doctor who I trust and like very much. I just feel kind of stupid now. I cried when I found out I have HPV and I have no one to talk to about this that understands how scary it is. I'm just not entirely sure where to turn.
It's so hard though.
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