Scared for my partner!I Don't want him to get genital warts from me:( - Human Papillomavirus (HPV) Message Board

mse1249 · 06-14-2008, 07:25 PM

I have genital warts now and am getting treatment. My Fiance, however, may (most likely) have the virus (from me). He has not had a breakout at all (yet) and I am scared for him that he will. I don't want him to go through all of this burden that I am going through now and I will feel very badly if he has to suffer through a breakout. He accepts that it may happen to him if his immune system gets low.
Has anyone had this similar situation with their partner? is it more likely to have reoccuring breakouts if we both have the virus? Is it possible for him to never have an outbreak? We love to have sex and we have sustained from it since I have been going through treatment with aldara. We will use protection when we do again (after the treatment and visible warts have subsided)but should i continue to wait a while after the warts completely clear in case the virus is still stong in my system? How do we go about this? will we just pass it back and forth?

jenuine86 · 06-16-2008, 11:23 AM

I had gen warts too and, like you, we didn't have sex for a while..
Condoms can help protect him from skin contact if your warts are inside, but of course condoms have their faults..
if your warts are outside, it's a little more difficult.
I know it sounds completely weird, but my gyno even suggested (for external warts) is put duct tape over them. I wouldn't have tried it except that we were getting REALLY frustrated with the condoms and they weren't protecting him anyway since he could still get skin contact (they were at the very bottom of my vagina near my anus) so we tried the tape and it worked pretty well. He's already infected with the HPV virus because of me..
Once your warts are gone, you shouldn't have to deal with that anymore.. if your warts are gone, he wont catch them from you that way.
continue using a condom though if you're concerned..
My bf and I haven't been having sex since my biopsies (I've developed cervical dysplasia) but my warts are gone now so, according to my doctor, we should be able to resume our normal sex life.. But remember to keep a check up on yourself with the pap to make sure no changes are being made with the inside of your body too..
Is he supporting you? Did he know about the HPV before you got engaged? I hope all goes well and good luck with the wedding

mse1249 · 06-26-2008, 06:21 PM

Is he supporting you? Did he know about the HPV before you got engaged? I hope all goes well and good luck with the wedding

-Yes he is very supportive and he knew all about the virus and that i had contracted it before we slept together.. he was totally in the know with everything. He is completely supportive and just sees it as something we will deal with together. THank Goodness!

I am almost completely cleared up now and I we just booked our wedding venue! I am concerned for him going back to oral sex with me.. I know he might not feel comfortable right away although he has already been super exposed so he has the virus. I think we have some fear that he might get it on his face. I also think that if he is going to breakout with warts then he is going to breakout bc there is no way around it.. he has the virus already. I think we have this fear he could "really" breakout now, probably only bc we have seen that it really can happen (like it did to me). Like i said we are like scared he might breakout on his face if he gives me oral sex more now than we ever thought before. Are we being paranoid?? We have had unprotected sex both vaginal and oral for 2 years. He's been completely exposed. I don't know if it matters now. I miss oral sex and I think once my test results come back that the virus has subsided and level is low we will feel more safe. We are thinking all these paranoid thoughts of things that will happen to us and we def just need to talk to the doc to clear some of this stuff up. Thank you for being supportive. Sorry this message is so long. How are you and your partner getting along now with your sex lives.. are things back to normal yet? Do you share any of these fears?

jenuine86 · 06-27-2008, 09:47 AM

Yes.. I am still having a hard time wanting him to make love with me at all actually.. but he too sees this as something we just need to get through together.. he's very good about it

I've done oral on him since we found out, but he hasn't on me.. whether or not it is due to my warts that I had, I do not know.. but the thing is that if you have no warts, he can't get them. He can have his own breakout if his immune system can't control the virus, but it's not too likely.. otherwise, if there is no warts for his skin to come into contact with, he should be just fine giving oral and having unprotected sex.
This whole thing has been so hard.. I've gained nearly ten pounds from the stress of it all and THAT makes it hard for ME to want to have sex now on top of the paranoia that I'll give him warts..
Anyway.. I am very happy for you and congrats on the wedding! You will get through this, I will get through this and we will be able to carry on with our lives as usual... just have to keep up on those darned paps!

If I find out anything new about whether or not oral is safe, I will definately let you know..

Thisby · 06-28-2008, 08:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jenuine86

but the thing is that if you have no warts, he can't get them. ... if there is no warts for his skin to come into contact with, he should be just fine giving oral and having unprotected sex.

Really? I have always heard that even if the warts are removed, the virus is still there and could be active and contagious.

mse1249, if you were having sex with your bf before the appearance of the warts, he's already been exposed to the virus. The fact that he doesn't have any visible warts just means that they haven't shown up yet or more likely that his body has already fought it off and they aren't going to.

As for them showing up on his face, I have never heard of that. Genital warts like/need to live on a particular type of skin, and I don't think the face is like the genitals. Like how plantars warts only live on the soles of the feet. You two have been having intercourse and oral sex and I'm sure kissing, and they haven't shown up on your face, right?

As for passing it back and forth, that's not a concern. You can't keep re-infecting each other with something you already have.

btw, how do you know you were infected before him? They usually show up 2 to 8 weeks after exposure.