It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Human Papillomavirus (HPV) Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 09-16-2008, 08:58 PM   #1
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: US
Posts: 34
blueskies7 HB User
Unhappy Just found out I have genital warts....ex won't return my calls

I am such a mix of emotions right now. I just got diagnosed with one of the HPV strains of genital warts. I am pretty sure that I got if from my ex, who broke up with me almost a month ago. Since I am on birth control, we never used condoms, and stupid me, I assumed he was clean. I was so ignorant to what HPV was and even what genital warts looked like that even though I did notice some very small bumps on his penis, I never thought anything of it. In fact, I never even asked him if he had ever been tested for STDs. It was not until I noticed some bumps on my vaginal area that I did research and learned for the first time what HPV and genital warts were. Yes, I know, I am so ignorant and I probably deserved this.

Yesterday, I happened to run into my ex right before I went to the clinic to get my bumps checked out. I told him of my symptoms and that I was worried I might have genital warts. I told him that I thought he possibly infected me because I had been with my previous bf for four years and never had any symptoms. And my previous bf had only been with one other girl, and they were both virgins, so I am pretty sure I got the warts from this ex.

Anyways, when I told him he was very concerned and told me to tell him how things went at the clinic. He gave me a hug and again repeated that he wanted me to let him know how things went. I asked him a question that I should have asked when we first started dating, which was if he had ever gotten tested or even gotten the bumps on his penis looked at. He said no, so I'm betting he didn't even know he had genital warts, until I told him.

So after I got the confirmation at the clinic, I called him last night. He didn't pick up, so I left him a message telling him to call me back. He never called back. I called again tonight to ask him to call me so I could talk to him about what happened at the clinic. I don't think he's going to call.

Not only am I so frustrated and upset over this whole thing, I have no one to talk to, especially the person who probably infected me. I don't understand how he could have been so seemingly concerned (he also apologized to me) but now he won't even return my calls.

We never had closure to the end of our relationship (he broke up with me over the phone) and for the past month now I've been missing him so much, and wanting to reach out to him. Now to find out that I got an STD from him and the fact that he's giving me mixed signals (showing concern when I told him in person but now ignoring my calls) is more than I can bear.

I feel dirty, ashamed, and like I'm damaged goods. I'm worried that no one will ever want to be with me if they know that I have this stupid infection.

I'm wondering if I should call him one last time and just tell him that "Yes, I have genital warts now and you better get checked out yourself." In my previous two voice messages, I only told him to call me so I could tell him what happened with me at the clinic, so I never really have given him a confirmation that I have it. It just makes me so sad and angry that he's not even acknowledging this and not calling me back. It's so disrepectful to me, because he's the one who gave it to me.

What do you all think I should do? Just forget him and move on or reach out one more time to him? Any advice would be appreciated. I'm sorry if this post was so long - I don't really want to talk about it with my friends because I'm so embarrassed by this.

Last edited by blueskies7; 09-16-2008 at 09:04 PM.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 09-17-2008, 04:06 PM   #2
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 39
Amplifies HB User
Re: Just found out I have genital warts....ex won't return my calls

First of all, I'm really sorry to hear about what you're going through.. I hope everything gets better for you, I really do...

But your boyfriend, if he is still your boyfriend? Is being a real jerk, and if it were me, I would just stop trying to call him, and I wouldn't even tell him the results, unless he grows up and actually calls you. If he can't be a man, especially since he should be in the position you're in, since it's his fault, I just wouldn't bother.

Aside from that, I think I am going through the same thing as you are as far as warts go. I haven't been tested yet. I need to call and schedule an appointment, and since I'm low on money, I have to go to Planned Parenthood or the health department. But I am about 100% positive that it's warts.. Because me and my boyfriend broke up last summer for about a month, also, and he slept with my friend who is very promiscuous. I made him get tested, and everything were negative... but guys don't get tested for HPV. I, too, didn't use condoms once we got back together. And surprise, surprise, I have little bumps popping up. He has none, though, so I am very confused. But I heard men can just be carriers and show no symptoms at all. I'm more afraid of having another type of HPV that is high risk for cervical cancer, though. I would rather have warts, then have cancer, even if it means that me and my boyfriend broke up and no one would want to be with me. But we've already talked about it and it's fine, but that doesn't mean we won't break up some day.

I don't think this will stop you from having relationships, though. If things are going good in a relationship, you have to find the right time to tell someone, not just throw it into the air right away, and you should make sure you truly trust the person, too. This isn't something you want spread around. If this person really likes you, or even loves you, they will stay with you. If you just told someone when you met them, though, that might scare them off... Don't do that.

Oh, and good luck to you. I was just giving you my opinion on everything, but I think you should do what your heart tells you to.

Last edited by Amplifies; 09-17-2008 at 04:07 PM.

 
Old 09-17-2008, 05:17 PM   #3
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: US
Posts: 34
blueskies7 HB User
Re: Just found out I have genital warts....ex won't return my calls

Hi Amplifies, thank you so much for your message. It helps to know there are other people who can understand what I'm going through. For your sake, though, I hope that you don't have genital warts. But if you do, it's good that you can get them treated early. I've heard that after a year or so your immune system is able to fight off the infection and suppress the virus. So even if the virus is still within you, you won't show any more symptoms once your immune system has gotten stronger.

I'm also going to PP next week to get a pap smear. I'm hoping that there are not any abnormal cells. I guess in the scheme of things, warts are so much better than the possibility of getting cervical cancer! Have you considered getting the HPV vaccine? I've heard that it may still be beneficial if you haven't already been exposed to those strains that cause either the warts or cervical cancer.

I don't plan on calling my ex or even contacting him anymore about this. If he wants to know my diagnosis, then he should call me. I think I already did him a favor by alerting him to this (in person, no less) so the least he could do is return my calls about it. I can understand if he's shocked by the whole thing but to rudely ignore my messages when this deals with his own health, too, is unbelievable.

Well, Amplifies, I hope things go okay with you. Let me know how things turn out.

 
Old 10-15-2008, 11:02 AM   #4
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: louisiana
Posts: 20
mg82 HB User
Re: Just found out I have genital warts....ex won't return my calls

I feel you on the stress and feeling like damged goods. i'm in the middle of finding out that i more than likely have something that might not go away and i feel so sad and it's so hard to keep up with my normal day schedule and even look at a girl and feel attracted or hopeful about a furture relationship. i trusted someone and i guess i was neieve myself for thinking it was all good. these things happen to good people! out of all the times i've had sex i can't ever remember a girlfriend ever asking about having a clead std test or vice versa.. but it's just very taboo usually. i thought i was in love and it would last forever.

One of my best friends was diagnosed with hpv and she lives a perfectly normal life and dates. she's even open about it and is not ashamed and just says it happened and lives with it. it took her sometime to get over it and eventually she moved on. but you have to think we have one life to live and really is any of that going to matter when your with the one you love and your 65.

 
Old 01-25-2009, 09:21 AM   #5
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 295
Drafly HB User
Re: Just found out I have genital warts....ex won't return my calls

Do not be mislead by the fact that there is a vaccine. Guardasil only offers protection again HPV types 6, 11, 16, and 18. There are approximately 30 types which cause genital HPV. 6 and 11 are low risk and cause warts, `16 and 18 are high risk and can lead to cervical and other types of cancer. Sadly, you mentioned that many aren't really worried about it. They should be. HPV can have devastating effects not only on a persons physical health but psychologically as well. I have been dealing with HPV for over 20 years and it has been no picnic, and, since once you've got it you have it for life better safe than sorry. There is also no way to tell who gave someone HPV because it may show no symptoms initially and can remain dormant for years before doing so. In addition, unless your call was to advise your ex of their possible exposure, placing blame isn't going to help anything really.

Last edited by moderator2; 01-25-2009 at 12:54 PM.

 
Old 01-13-2010, 09:26 AM   #6
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 1
kaliixox HB User
Re: Just found out I have genital warts....ex won't return my calls

Quote:
Originally Posted by blueskies7 View Post
I am such a mix of emotions right now. I just got diagnosed with one of the HPV strains of genital warts. I am pretty sure that I got if from my ex, who broke up with me almost a month ago. Since I am on birth control, we never used condoms, and stupid me, I assumed he was clean. I was so ignorant to what HPV was and even what genital warts looked like that even though I did notice some very small bumps on his penis, I never thought anything of it. In fact, I never even asked him if he had ever been tested for STDs. It was not until I noticed some bumps on my vaginal area that I did research and learned for the first time what HPV and genital warts were. Yes, I know, I am so ignorant and I probably deserved this.

Yesterday, I happened to run into my ex right before I went to the clinic to get my bumps checked out. I told him of my symptoms and that I was worried I might have genital warts. I told him that I thought he possibly infected me because I had been with my previous bf for four years and never had any symptoms. And my previous bf had only been with one other girl, and they were both virgins, so I am pretty sure I got the warts from this ex.

Anyways, when I told him he was very concerned and told me to tell him how things went at the clinic. He gave me a hug and again repeated that he wanted me to let him know how things went. I asked him a question that I should have asked when we first started dating, which was if he had ever gotten tested or even gotten the bumps on his penis looked at. He said no, so I'm betting he didn't even know he had genital warts, until I told him.

So after I got the confirmation at the clinic, I called him last night. He didn't pick up, so I left him a message telling him to call me back. He never called back. I called again tonight to ask him to call me so I could talk to him about what happened at the clinic. I don't think he's going to call.

Not only am I so frustrated and upset over this whole thing, I have no one to talk to, especially the person who probably infected me. I don't understand how he could have been so seemingly concerned (he also apologized to me) but now he won't even return my calls.

We never had closure to the end of our relationship (he broke up with me over the phone) and for the past month now I've been missing him so much, and wanting to reach out to him. Now to find out that I got an STD from him and the fact that he's giving me mixed signals (showing concern when I told him in person but now ignoring my calls) is more than I can bear.

I feel dirty, ashamed, and like I'm damaged goods. I'm worried that no one will ever want to be with me if they know that I have this stupid infection.

I'm wondering if I should call him one last time and just tell him that "Yes, I have genital warts now and you better get checked out yourself." In my previous two voice messages, I only told him to call me so I could tell him what happened with me at the clinic, so I never really have given him a confirmation that I have it. It just makes me so sad and angry that he's not even acknowledging this and not calling me back. It's so disrepectful to me, because he's the one who gave it to me.

What do you all think I should do? Just forget him and move on or reach out one more time to him? Any advice would be appreciated. I'm sorry if this post was so long - I don't really want to talk about it with my friends because I'm so embarrassed by this.
Honey, you're not alone. I know how hard it is, except my story is a little different. I do not know if my boyfriend gave it to me or if I gave it to him, but he is convinced I gave him genital warts, which are caused by the HPV virus. Fortunately for him, the type I have can only give him warts. Unfortunately for me, mine can also lead to Cervical Cancer. When my boyfriend first realized that a wart he had gotten was in fact genital warts, he sent me a text message saying he never wanted to speak to me again, it's over, and he is basically disgusted by me and will never want to have sex with me again so what is the point of having a relationship with me if he doesn't ever want to have sex with me again? Personally I think he is being a complete baby about it, but I guess that's men. I've tried to offer him help to get it removed and pay for the bills and everything because he has no health insurance, but no, he doesn't want to see me or speak to me again. I miss him so much. I was completely in love with this man, I know I could've spent the rest of my life with him, and now it's over because of something that no one can control.

Personally, the way I would deal with your situation is that since it has been a while for you two, I would try to contact him one more time and tell him that you are in fact infected and see what happens. If he doesn't answer and doesn't call back, don't contact him again. Maybe one day he will call you, and if that day comes and you still feel you love him and are willing to take him back, you are lucky and I wish you the best of luck because I know that there are other women including me who would kill to have the love of their lives back because of something like this that happened to them. I really hope everything works out for you. If you need to talk more please comment back on this, I'd really love to help you in any way I can.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
HPV genital and hand warts sad and confused Jess818 Human Papillomavirus (HPV) 3 03-05-2008 05:41 AM
My genital warts got worse :( Kaylynn904 Human Papillomavirus (HPV) 2 09-12-2007 10:58 PM
genital warts lalu2005 Sexually Transmitted Diseases 21 12-21-2005 09:43 AM
Re-Occuring Genital Warts is this normal? Its been two years and no sign of stopping Lucky2323 Sexually Transmitted Diseases 6 11-01-2005 10:01 PM
genital warts can be cured??! john1122 Sexually Transmitted Diseases 14 08-27-2004 08:48 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Kali333 (12), Switch96 (11), curly fry (3), Titchou (2), Pickle Eyes (2), chronicworry (2), scared7 (2), tattoogirly (2), aqulit (2), hlowrie (1)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1165), MSJayhawk (1000), Apollo123 (898), Titchou (833), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (758), ladybud (747), sammy64 (668), midwest1 (665), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:13 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!