My boyfriend is playing the blame game - Human Papillomavirus (HPV) Message Board

spiderchick · 11-08-2008, 09:10 AM

i really need advice i havent been told yet for sure that i have hpv but i recieved an abnormal pap and they want me to come back in 6 wks theyh tghink i have hpv my boyfriend of a year a nd 2 months or so is going off on me telling me pretty much im a **** and i contracted it from someone else i had a normal pap a year ago how long does it take to showup on a pap once contracted

andiesq70 · 11-08-2008, 10:07 AM

If you've had multiple partners then it's hard to say who you got it from. Nobody, not even the doctors can pinpoint when or whom you got it from if you've been sexually active with more than one person. HPV can lie dormant for weeks, months or years before any symptoms show. I hope your boyfriend is being supportive because whether or not you got it from him, you both have the same strain/s now, if you've been sexually active. It's no fun to play the blame game and no matter who brought it to the relationship doesn't matter, it only matters that now you get treatments as needed. Good luck!

spiderchick · 11-08-2008, 10:52 AM

I have been with two others him with one so automatically he blames me cause hes been with less ppl.I appreciate your reply i really needed the support cause im not getting it elsewhere

andiesq70 · 11-08-2008, 11:26 AM

I'm sorry spiderchick, it's hard enough to have an abnormal pap but with little to no support makes it that much more difficult. Like I said, it does not matter who was infected first and if he truly cares for you he will be there for you. It upsets me that doctors say that one particular person passed on the virus when they have no way of knowing, so I hope that when you did discuss it with your boyfriend you were not hostile. If you were it is possible he was just being defensive, if that is the case. Either way, you need to get checked regularly (or as recommended by your doctor) and get treatments as needed. There is some information at the Center for Disease Control about HPV that may help you understand a little more.

Pickle Eyes · 11-08-2008, 12:35 PM

Spiderchick, my HPV never showed up on a pap (and I ended up with cervical cancer - but never had a bad pap). My high risk HPV was found because my doctor did the HPV test. At that point in my life, I'd been in a monogamous marriage for 16 years. (btw, we are still together - but there was a bump in the road of the relationship).

If there is no other reason to suspect infidelity, then the blame-game is a waste of emotional energy.

((((hugs)))) it is difficult dealing with the diagnosis, and the abnormal pap.