Re: did my wife cheat
Thisby has given you some good information. I just want to add that the HPV/dna test was only approved by the FDA 4 or 5 years ago. Many doctors are just now beginning to offer it to their female patients who are over 30 years old when they do the annual pap. My doctor began offering the HPV/dna last fall (but she didn't ask every patient - only when she thought of it). Now, because of my experience (because she offered and I accepted the HPV/dna test) she offers it to EVERY woman over 30.
I know it is VERY stressful knowing your wife has high risk HPV. It is a shock in any monogamous relationship. But you need to know HPV is a horrid virus. It can lay dormant for years or decades . . . and because the test for high risk HPV is so new, many doctors are just starting to offer it. The virus could have been doing damage for years (or decades), but it is just now being detected.
My view on that is, whether it was dormant and reactivated OR it has been causing damage for decades . . . thank the heavens that it HAS been found.
Because my general physcian did an HPV test last December, she sent me to a gyno. The gyno did a colposcopy. Because the colposcopy didn't show any lesions, she decided to do an ECC "just to check." Because she did that, the sample showed adenocarcinoma in situ. Because of that, I had a cold knife cone biopsy. The cold knife cone biopsy came back with adenocarcinoma Ia1.
Because of my regular doc doing the HPV and the gyno doing the ECC my cancer was found at an early stage, I had a hyst (to remove cervix and uterus), and I am cancer free. I do not need chemo or radiation. I am THANKFUL for those two doctors and their proactive steps.
I ALWAYS had my pap (every year from 19 years old til last yera at 44) and I NEVER had an abnormal pap. But I had cancer. And I have been in a monogamous relationship for 16 years.
Please don't allow the results of the HPV test to let you place blame or suspect infidelity. After all, if either of you had had ANY sexual experience (not just intercourse - HPV can spread by many forms of foreplay) . . . then who knows who brought THIS STRAIN of HPV to the relationship.
I hope your wife's situation has a better outcome than mine. Either way, I'm glad your wife's doctor performed the HPV test. It is far better to know about the virus, so she can be proactive in her health care choices than to not know at all.
I'm rambling now, I hope I've said something that helps.