So upset and confused - Human Papillomavirus (HPV) Message Board

Observer15 · 11-11-2008, 01:45 PM

Hello,

I can't believe, that in today's age of medicine..that there are not clearer answers regarding HPV.

My partner was just diagnosed with genital warts today. I was just at the doctor a week ago, and was clear.

I am aware that this virus can lay dormant for years.

I am aware that this diagnosis does not mean that he cheated or has been unfaithful.

However, as supportive as I am trying to be...I feel scared and I have this tightness at the pit of my stomach. I feel dirty, and that he is dirty and that we are both tainted. I know this sounds insensitive..but I can't help it.

I guess they scraped the wart, and sent it off to be tested to conclude which strain he has. They also prescribed him a cream that may/may not take it away. Apparently the dr. told him, there is a chance it is a form that will never go away, a form that may go away etc. and this test will determine which it is.

Also, the location is frustrating..it cannot be covered with a condom. I know I probably have the virus already, however, the thought of having a visual wart on my body is terrifying. I am scared and feel that there is a possibility of unfaithfulness. I dont understand how after 8 years that we have been together, he is just now showing a visual wart. However, I do remember a very long time ago (6 years) he had a very, very small bump on the underside of the shaft of his penis. We both ignored it, and eventually it went away. I guess now we know what it was.

Yikes. The emotional toll that this takes is unbelievable.

Pickle Eyes · 11-11-2008, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Observer15

However, as supportive as I am trying to be...I feel scared and I have this tightness at the pit of my stomach. I feel dirty, and that he is dirty and that we are both tainted. I know this sounds insensitive..but I can't help it.
<snip>
I am scared and feel that there is a possibility of unfaithfulness. I dont understand how after 8 years that we have been together, he is just now showing a visual wart.
<snip>
Yikes. The emotional toll that this takes is unbelievable.

I don't know what to tell you except your feelings (about yourself and him) are pretty normal. I understood how high risk HPV could hang around and not show up, but have recently learned that low risk HPV can show up years (or decades) later, too. One of the ladies who posts here is in a monogamous marriage and has been for 16 years (if I'm remembering correctly). She *just* (in the last 6 months or so) was diagnosed with genital wart(s). I'm sure she'll chime in soon.

It is a hideous virus. It doesn't necessarily do its damage right away. It can show up years or decades later. It can be doing its damage, but not show up on tests. I've always had good paps ever since I was 19 (I'm now 45). I was diagnosed with cervical cancer back in April, and now . . . even 3 months post hysterectomy have NEVER had a bad pap! It is a HIDEOUS virus.

I hope I've said something that has comforted you.

Observer15 · 11-12-2008, 08:47 AM

Everything you said helps!

It is good to know that there are other people that feel the same way. I am so very sorry to hear about your hysterectomy.

Pickle Eyes · 11-12-2008, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Observer15

It is good to know that there are other people that feel the same way. I am so very sorry to hear about your hysterectomy.

Thank you, Observer. To be perfectly honest, I'd rather be uterus-free than living with cancer! So, I'm ok with the surgery.

Don't get me wrong, this Spring was one major health-care-related blur. There were soooooo many days I was emotionally surviving moment by moment. But I've come out on the other side.

I was thrilled about losing my uterus. It wasn't like I was using it for anything other than marking off each month with my period . . . but I didn't like losing a body part that didn't feel diseased . . . but was.

I am blessed with a loving husband and family, good friends, and the ability to learn about my body and be proactive in my healthcare.

andiesq70 · 11-14-2008, 06:21 AM

Hi ladies, like Pickle Eyes said I had developed genital warts after 16 years of marriage and in a monogamous relationship. I understand how upsetting and confusing this all is because I felt the same way, especially about the tainted part! It's been over a year since the initial detection and I am finally not feeling so much like damage goods, I am very blessed with many good things in my life and find it easier to focus on them than on what has and is happening due to HPV. It does get better over time and the boards helped me tremendously. My husband has never had any genital warts (knock on wood). I wish you luck and hang in there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!