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Old 08-04-2009, 10:04 AM   #1
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Extremely scared

First, let me say that I have been reading through the posts here and think it is wonderful that there are people out there who are so supportive of people they don't even know.

I am 25 and have only slept with 2 guys (first was my bf of 5 years, and second is my current bf with whom we have been planning our engagement/wedding/lives together.) I took all of the precautions I could and had both past and current bfs get tested before we did anything and I got a copper IUD to ensure that I wouldn't get pregnant. I am posting because like others on here, I went in for my routine Pap smear and just got a call yesterday from my gyn telling me that it was abnormal and that it was likely HPV and that I needed to come in for a colposcopy in 2 days (8/6). Honestly, I pretty much blanked out right after he said that and have only a minimal recollection of what else he said. I know he told me that its early and that about 80% of sexually active people have encountered HPV but I still feel so dirty and embarrassed.

So basically, I am terrified and have a million questions and I apologize if any of these are repeats.

Since my doctor ordered a colposcopy, does that mean that I for sure have HPV? (I didn't get a separate HPV test, he just ordered it after my pap smear came back abnormal.)

Has anyone gone through this experience with a copper IUD? Do you have to get it removed? Is it possible that the IUD is what caused the abnormal pap smear? (prolly just wishful thinking...)

Am I going to be in a lot of pain after the colposcopy? The nurse told me to take advil beforehand.

Has anyone had success with taking supplements to boost their fight against HPV? Is it better to go with separate vitamins or can I take a multivitamin?

If it is HPV, and somehow it goes away, can my bf give it to me again? Or since its a virus, I will just always have it.

And on a more personal/relationship level, how have people dealt with bf's that have given them HPV? Background: I am madly in love with him. We are absolutely perfect for each other and we constantly talk about the future and wedding plans. (we are not engaged right now because we are both still in grad school). I knew he had slept with 14 other girls before me and made him get tested for everything. It all came back negative, but I know that there isn't a test for HPV in guys. I am sure I got it from him. I love him so much, but I am furious that his past decisions in life have given me this disease and I don't know if I will ever be able to get over it. I don't want to be with anyone but him, but I can't even bring myself to look at him. Since I got the call, he feels so terrible and I know that he is really upset about it. But he insists that he wants to work through this and find a way that we can still be together. I know the past is in the past, but how do you deal with someone whose past affects your health? Does anyone have any tips on how to forgive and move on or any other thoughts on what I should do?

Sorry for the extremely long post. It is probably very rambling and incoherent. I just need an outlet and any advise that anyone is willing to give. Thank you all so much in advance.

~Scared out of my mind.

 
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Old 08-04-2009, 11:20 AM   #2
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Re: Extremely scared

I can't answer all of your questions, but I hope to reassure you a little. First of all HPV is very, very common. 80% of sexually active people will get it at some point in their life. In many cases it just goes away on its own & doesn't cause any further problems. They will do the colposcopy to check for any cell changes. If there aren't any changes, they won't do anything else, but maybe have you do another PAP every few months instead of waiting a whole year. My colposcopy didn't hurt much, I think they may have given me a few pain pills afterwards & told me to rest for that day. I was fine after that. I unfortunately did have abnormal cells & my doctor is very pro-active & decided to remove them right away, by performing a LEEP procedure. They basically remove a small sliver of your cervix to get rid of the abnormal cells. That was back in 2007, and since then all of my PAPs have been normal. I was very scared & very upset when I was first diagnosed, but it really hasn't been that bad. Your doctor will check you more regularly for awhile, but again in many cases it will clear up on its own. I also never had warts, that only happnes with some strains of HPV. As far as it goes with your BF, you really can't blame him forever. You never know if you got it from your 1st BF. My HPV was not discovered until I had been with my husband for 3 years. Neither of us slept with many people & I know neither of us cheated. So it doesn't always show up right away. As far as fighting it goes, vitamins are not going to kill a virus, although it never hurts to be healthy. Hopefully in time it will go away like mine did. You may not need to do anything else after the colposcopy. But its good that your doctor is being proactive about this. I hope you stop worrying so much & try not to blame your BF for this. This is just a little bump in the road & most likely this will clear up soon. Good luck!

 
Old 08-04-2009, 06:00 PM   #3
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Re: Extremely scared

I am in your same position, 20, just recently diagnosed with high risk low grade HPV, my doctor gave me indole forte' capsules, im also taking probiotic complex capsules, and centrum multivitamin, as well as vastly improving my diet little by little, lots of greens folic acid is good for you, im going to start going to the gym once or twice a day to help my immune system as well and also as mentioned above thats right, 80 percent of women have this, it is a shame there is no test for males and while it is scarey, its not the end of the world. I havent gone for my second pap yet, it is in the next 6 months and i will have one every 6 months until i hopefully beat the virus.

So relax! your not alone
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~*HPV High Risk Low Grade*~ Diagnosed: (July 16,2009)
~*HSV2*~ Diagnosed: (September 8,2009)

Life is what you make it.

 
Old 08-04-2009, 06:02 PM   #4
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Re: Extremely scared

you will always have HPV as well i,there is a very low chance it will develop into cancer just stay prompt with your paps and you will be just fine. ive also been extremely worried about if ill be able to have children but my doctor assured me, everything will be just fine. the good news is it was caught early so as long as you monitor it no worries.
__________________
~*HPV High Risk Low Grade*~ Diagnosed: (July 16,2009)
~*HSV2*~ Diagnosed: (September 8,2009)

Life is what you make it.

 
Old 08-05-2009, 11:57 AM   #5
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Re: Extremely scared

I just got the call from my gyno that I my pap came back abnormal with HPV. I'm stuck at work crying, I scheduled my biopsy for next Tuesday (8/11) and am going to be nervous until then. I just have way too many questions that I wish I had asked on the phone. How do I know what type I have? I've never had any symptoms. There is no history of cervical cancer in my family, does that benefit me in anyway? What does this mean for my relationship? Do I need to tell him immediately? I was with my ex for 6 years and just in the past 6 months I started seeing someone new. All my previous paps were normal so does that mean I got it from the new guy? I'm just scared...

 
Old 08-05-2009, 12:19 PM   #6
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Re: Extremely scared

Shyf


Relax. No cervical cancer is not hereditary only caused by HPV, which is considered an STD. I was just diagnosed myself, maybe not even a month ago, high risk, low grade hpv. High risk if the type that causes cancer, low risk, does not, but can cause genital warts. Well i dated the same guy for yrs, then went on to date other people myself and no way to tell where it came from, there is no STD test for men and they often have no symptoms. 80 percent out of people in the U.S have this. While it is scary it often just goes away, i am anxious about my next pap as well. I had my coloscopy done results came back ok, so i am just seen with my doctor every 6 months.

I would just explain to your boyfriend that you had an abnormal pap, and have something that could cause cancer, but as long as you continue to go, you'll be fine just stay on top of your paps. However if you were ever to break up id explain to him, he may be at risk for giving future partners this and just to let them no, men really don't suffer from this so, its really no huge deal.

My current bf, has HSV2 which i would consider much worse as far as pain and dealing with. I do not have it, but he has been extremely supportive


Just hang in there, your not alone, if you need to talk feel free to message me, this board helps me alot talking with others in my same situation.
__________________
~*HPV High Risk Low Grade*~ Diagnosed: (July 16,2009)
~*HSV2*~ Diagnosed: (September 8,2009)

Life is what you make it.

 
Old 08-05-2009, 05:29 PM   #7
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Re: Extremely scared

Thank you to everyone that has replied! While I don't necessarily feel better about the situation, it is comforting to get advice from others out there.

Shyf, it sounds like we are pretty much going through the same situation right now. I have my colposcopy tomorrow, I'll let you know how it goes. With regards to the bf, I told mine and almost broke up with him the day I found out. Since then, my emotions have calmed down a little and he has been so supportive. I can't imagine breaking up with him now.

But, for right now, I am trying not to think about it. I'll post how my appointment tomorrow goes.

 
Old 08-05-2009, 08:28 PM   #8
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Re: Extremely scared

Don't worry the coloscopy, to me was not painful, just relax and chances are, you will be fine and it will clear up on its own. Im pretty much in the same boat as you and "Shyf", i just have already had my coloscopy and have gotten my results back. i get a little worried at times but ultimatly just choose not to think about it or ill drive myself crazy, no reason to worry until there is a reason too
__________________
~*HPV High Risk Low Grade*~ Diagnosed: (July 16,2009)
~*HSV2*~ Diagnosed: (September 8,2009)

Life is what you make it.

 
Old 08-06-2009, 07:46 AM   #9
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Re: Extremely scared

So last night I noticed a bump on my bf's penis. I have never seen it before (and I am pretty OCD and notice everything). Now I'm scared that it's genital warts. It looks like it could be. I know that HPV can cause genital warts but I just wasn't even worrying about warts, and just cervical cancer. I have my colposcopy today and will obviously tell my doctor about the bump. But now I'm worrying about getting warts. I know that in all actuality, I have what he has and if this strain of HPV is the wart causing one, I will have it to. I am just freaking out. I just can't believe this whole thing is happening...

 
Old 08-06-2009, 09:58 AM   #10
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Re: Extremely scared

Hi Scared. I've been reading this thread with great interest. I hadn't joined in yet, but was wondering how your colposcopy went?

 
Old 08-06-2009, 10:13 AM   #11
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Re: Extremely scared

Scared9 I hope all goes well!
So I told the bf last night, he was alright with it all. After I explained the procedure at my next dr visit it turns out his ex had a colposcopy shortly after they started seeing each other because she had an abnormal pap. She never went into any further detail, except that she had to go back for a pap every 6 months. So he was pretty upset after putting all of that together considering she didn't tell him and I myself am a little annoyed. Luckily my doctor did call me yesterday after my first post and said my pap was nontypical not abnormal, the first call was from a nurse and she sent me into a mild panic. I just have to ask how long will I have an active infection?

 
Old 08-06-2009, 10:33 AM   #12
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Re: Extremely scared

Well if you have HPV you will always have it. Sometimes depending your age, i myself am 20, with the help of a good diet exercise and vitamins, your body can fight off the current infection. Even though you will always have HPV in your DNA,and it could come back but with current paps you should be just fine, did your doctor tell you, you def had HPV or just abnormal pap? Well that is wrong his ex didn't tell him, but then again i myself my boyfriend is very supportive but its hard, just the word STD makes me cringe because i don't think it should be classified as that.
__________________
~*HPV High Risk Low Grade*~ Diagnosed: (July 16,2009)
~*HSV2*~ Diagnosed: (September 8,2009)

Life is what you make it.

 
Old 08-06-2009, 12:57 PM   #13
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Re: Extremely scared

Well, I just got back from colposcopy. I think the anticipation and build-up are way worse than the actual procedure. My doc answered all of my questions beforehand. Basically he said that my pap should mild dysplasia and would only do a biopsy if necessary. Then, as I posted earlier about the appearance of what looks like a wart on my bf's penis, I was asking him about that. He took a look down there and said that I do not have genital warts. He then started the colposcopy which is like a Pap smear, but lasts longer and you can feel more stuff being moved around. He put the vinegar in (sorry if this is too graphic) and then waiting a little bit and looked around. He found a spot that he wanted to take a biopsy of, so he told me to cough really hard and he took the biopsy. He said I'll find out in a week about the biopsy. The whole procedure is not that painful, although I had previously gotten an IUD inserted which I think hurt a little bit more. I also have a relatively high pain tolerance.

He said I definitely do have HPV though, but thankfully not genital warts (yes, I know genital warts are caused by HPV, but he said it doesn't appear that I have that strain).

I may have forgotten to mention that I got the Gardasil vaccine before. I know that only covers 4 types (2 high risk and 2 that cause gw), but I still can't believe that I now have HPV. I feel so dirty. My bf came with me to the appt. and I am not back to not being able to look at him. My doc said that I can have sex in 24 hours... although I don't really foresee that happening considering I can't even look at him right now. He has an appt. tomorrow to get his penis looked at, but at this point, I dont even know if it matters. I really don't know what to do at this point. I am seriously ****** about this whole thing. My doctor again tried to reassure me that 80% of people will encounter an HPV infection in their life, but I guess "I just never thought it could happen to me", especially after I thought I had been so careful and cautious.

Sorry for yet another rambling post. I just have so many thoughts running through my head right now...

 
Old 08-07-2009, 06:51 AM   #14
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Re: Extremely scared

I went through this whole thing about 2 years ago. I had an abnormal pap and genital warts. The warts were the easy part. I had my colposcopy and they they told me that it was level 2/3 which is what needs to be treated so I had a LEEP procedure Feb 2007. May was still abnormal, but they said to give it time so August 2007 was normal, but had another abnormal around Nov 2007. Another colposcopy, but this time it was low grade so I decided to see if it would deal with itself and it did. Have had 3 normal ones and am back to just going once a year.
I remember crying when I found out and calling my boyfriend, who is now my husband, and not believing what I heard. I also thought that sometime like this could not happen to me, but it will be ok. There is no way to know who you got it from because it can take a while for it to show up. Aside from complete abstinance from any sexual activity I don't think you can prevent it because you do not have to actually have sex to get it and a condom does not protect you. My husband blamed himself and thinks that he gave it to me because, like your boyfriend, he had been with a lot of people before me. There is no point in the blame game, though I know you are hurting, because I can guarantee that he is hurting just as bad as you are. Life does go on and things will be ok because at least you caught it early.

 
Old 08-10-2009, 01:30 PM   #15
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Re: Extremely scared

Thanks again to everyone who has also shared their story and advice!

My doctor just called and said the the biopsy results indicated that I had mild dysplasia and that I did not need a LEEP. He said this should just clear up on its own and to just try and keep my immune system healthy and come back in 6 months for another pap.

My bf had the warts treated and we are waiting for those to go away as well. I asked my doc about the likelihood of me developing the warts as well and said that when we checked me out, he did not see anything that would indicate that I would, but he couldn't say for certain.

As of right now, the bf and I are still together and spent the whole weekend together trying to mend the rough patches this whole thing has caused. I am much less fixated on the whole "blame game" now and realize that I could have given it to him (although he says that most likely he gave it to me). We are actually starting to joke around about it and just move forward being ourselves. I'm still scared about possibly developing warts and what my next pap will indicate, but it's not a paralyzing fear like before.

 
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