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Old 01-18-2010, 05:05 PM   #1
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Genital warts. how do i tell my new boyfriend?

iv only just joined this cos you all seem like you know what your on about lol.
i'm 19 and 5months ago went for a check up as i found lumps and it turned out i had Genital Warts. the doctor just gave me some cream and said how common it was and that was it, your all on about having regular smears and blood tests and things but the doctor didnt at all ask me to come back or anything just gave me cream and said they would go by the end of the treatment and that was that....so i'm highly confused as i know its very common but the way it was just like "yep theres some cream, bye"!
basically i was sleeping with a guy for around 10months was told i was the only one and i'm on the pill so we didnt use condoms and little ol'me kept faithful just to find out he was screwing the world! anyway 5months later after getting rid of them (and of course him!) iv met someone lovely, cheered me up and we'v been together a few weeks and its sort of getting to that point when where going to have sex, do i tell him? i'm soooooo worried! but the doctor said its very rare it will come up again and once the warts go i'm not contagious, but the thing is i really do like this guy so i want to be completely honest, but i like him that much i don't want to lose him.
i have a feeling i must tell him, but how do i do it? please help.
thank you so much.

 
Old 01-18-2010, 05:41 PM   #2
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Re: Genital warts. how do i tell my new boyfriend?

you should tell. trust me. if you want to go back and read the post "A huge mistake but did he overreact", it basically sums up the consequences I faced for not disclosing having high risk (not genital wart) HPV. I know it's a hard conversation to have, but think about what would happen if you had sex and then warts show up on him.......there is a lot that is unknown about HPV and part of that is whether or not it truly ever goes away. Some think that even if you don't have warts, you still carry the virus and can pass it on. Others feel that if you aren't showing warts you can't pass it on. But believe me, you are better off telling him. I would start by asking him if he has ever heard of HPV. If he says no, then maybe you can do some reading on it together, < edited >

I would be also sure to mention that you had the warts 5 months ago and were treated and the warts haven't returned since (I assume?). It's odd that your doctor did not have you go in for a follow up. After my ex and I broke up I developed 2 very small warts and had them treated with some sort of acid solution and had a 2wk follow up. Lucky for me, the warts fell off and the doctor did not see any more at the follow up and none have appeared since. Again, I know this is going to be a tough conversation to have, but remember, if he truly cares for you, he will be ok with the situation and still want to have a relationship with you. And if he chooses to walk away, then he wasn't the right guy for you, and you deserve better.

Last edited by hb-mod; 01-19-2010 at 12:11 AM. Reason: Please do not post disallowed Internet websites, per Posting Policy. Thanks!

 
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Old 01-19-2010, 05:51 AM   #3
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Re: Genital warts. how do i tell my new boyfriend?

didnt get to much sleep from thinking of things to say and how to explain it but iv got a pretty decent essay in my head to read out lol.
i know i have to tell him and i know how to say it. reading a few things on this site it says how just be confident and not dramamtic and let them know how common it is and how they wont catch it [depending on what you have etc]. i plan on using condoms anyway! cos i wouldnt wish this on anyone.

does anyone take meds or anything for this? cos seriously all i got given was some cream and sent away and the way she said it was like a robot, as in she must have to go threw this alot!
im going to go back and get checked out again and get more information, unless im just fine and some people on here are overdramatic? :S i'm so confused x

 
Old 01-19-2010, 07:14 AM   #4
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Re: Genital warts. how do i tell my new boyfriend?

there is no medication to treat HPV. some docs give out cream for the warts, others use an acid treatment. I had the acid treatment and the warts fell off within a week and did not return.

 
Old 01-19-2010, 08:27 AM   #5
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Re: Genital warts. how do i tell my new boyfriend?

have you ever got then again for anything? is it just like when your a kid and you get one on your hand and soon as it goes the only way to get them again is to touch someone else's? i know it can come back but isnt it very rare? i dont get how some people say they have a high or low case? cos surely once its gone...its gone and you just need to keep checking up to see if it comes back?

 
Old 01-19-2010, 09:10 AM   #6
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Re: Genital warts. how do i tell my new boyfriend?

Natz,

High-risk HPV has the potential to cause cancer, while low ris types have the potential to cause warts. That's what people are saying when they have high or low. The both usually clear the sytem within 2 years. "Clearance" means HPV is reduced to indetecatble levels. No one knows whether or not the HPV is truely gone.

I think Sarberrie has given you some good advice. Regardless of whether it's medically necessary to tell him, you probably should tell him if you want to pursue a relationship because if he finds out later, he most likely will freak out and get mad.

The only other thing I would mention is that you might want to suggest he get vaccinated for HPV. I don't know where you are, but Gardasil has just been approved for use in men in the US. It protects against 2 strains of HPV that cause 90% of genital warts. If he's really concerned about getting HPV, it might be worth it for him to get it.

 
Old 01-19-2010, 03:42 PM   #7
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Re: Genital warts. how do i tell my new boyfriend?

im not really concerned about him freaking out and dumping me (Well sort of) because if he does that he wasnt worth it was he. cos he knows me for me and likes me for me, and for something i had months ago shouldnt effect his feelings on me really? or is that just me thinking positively?

i'm going to tell him anyway just cos if this is going to be a real proper relationship like it feels so, seems to be going very well, i dont want to hide things from him. and even so in the future if i'm still with him and we deside on children i'd have to then tell him anyway as id have to tell the doctor and i think that'd be horrid to find out after being with me so long etc..

after telling him i'm thinking of going back to doctors getting properly checked out to see if it all has gone (as i hear you get them on the inside too?) but they'v been gone for months now and i check myself regulary just incase anyway. but going to get checked up and going to get more information.

i'm from the UK, and its very common here so i think thats why the doctor treated it like nothing, when really i should be taking it very serious.

also thank you so much for all your help and information. i'll keep you updated on what happens x

 
Old 01-20-2010, 02:50 PM   #8
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Re: Genital warts. how do i tell my new boyfriend?

told him today.
he was more than fine about it, it was so lovely and i feel even closer to him. he said "if i ever caught this from you, at least i'd know and i wouldnt accuse you of cheating" and just asked questions and just properly went threw it with him and feel like a weight was lifted and just so happy.
if anyone reads this and has the same problem, trust me, tell him/her! it feels so much better to not have it over your head and constantly worrying they'll judge you and if they do, there not worth it.
thanks everyone x

 
Old 01-20-2010, 03:25 PM   #9
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Re: Genital warts. how do i tell my new boyfriend?

Quote:
Originally Posted by natz439 View Post
told him today.
he was more than fine about it, it was so lovely and i feel even closer to him.
That is excellent. I am so glad for you. He sounds like a good one.

 
Old 01-20-2010, 05:45 PM   #10
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Re: Genital warts. how do i tell my new boyfriend?

I am so glad it turned out so well for you!

 
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