Just got diagnosed with anal warts/HPV today..so many worries
After 15 years of hetero monogamy, and no occurrence of anogenital warts I'm aware of during that time for either of us, over the last 12 months I "played outside the house" a total of three times, each time with a different guy, during a negotiated DADT--and DBAH (Don't Bring Anything Home)--period my wife agreed to to let me figure out whether I wanted to ask her to open our marriage on an ongoing basis. (She knew I was bi when we started dating.)
As of today, I have confirmation that I blew it on the DBAH part, and now have to Tell. Anal warts. Not many, and all small, some external (frozen off today), some internal---GP recommending outpatient laser removal.
While I'm relieved to learn in all my online searching tonight that in most cases the HPV strains that cause increased risk of cervical cancers in women are not the same ones that manifest in anogential warts, I'm still feeling devastated that although I played safe (condoms, dental dams, even gloves in one encounter), it wasn't enough, and I've brought this virus (however common it is) into our marriage. And put her health at risk, however small.
I'm traveling for a few days and did not want to have the conversation before leaving.
Will do so when I return.
Is it safe for me to perform cunnilingus on her?
Should we use condoms until I "clear" the virus/warts? Or has that ship sailed? (I was infected with this strain anytime between 10 months ago and 3 months ago--though that partner reports no HPV; most likely source from a guy 5 months ago. Ironically, though that encounter had no penetration, he did perform analingus on me with not barrier, and I know that sometimes just skin-to-skin contact is all it takes.)
Does the virus "live" at the spot where the warts present, in terms of infectiousness? That is--since it's presenting in/around my anus, is my penis "safe"? Will keeping away from my anal area effectively allow us to continue the rest of our sex life as normal?
She has, to my knowledge, shown no visible symptoms and had no abnormal PAP smear results to date, including at least one PAP during this 10 month window, though not, I don't think, within the 5 month or 3 month.
Can HPV cause any gastrointestinal symptoms in women? Several months ago, she had "idiopathic illitus of the intestine"--a colonoscopy, ultrasound, and several blood tests showed nothing.
I'm grateful for any (non-judgmental) answers. I already feel about as low as pond scum.
Re: Just got diagnosed with anal warts/HPV today..so many worries
I can't answer all your questions, but I have read that even if there is no wart present, HPV can live on the skin. You may never get rid of the virus, it may just lay dormant in your system and appear again when your immune system is low. It's possible that you are infected with high risk (cancer causing) HPV strains also. but you will have no symptoms and there is no medical testing for males. Your wife can have a negative Pap, but still have high risk HPV, she needs to get an HPV/DNA test. It might be a good idea if you occasionally go to a dentist who tests for HPV related pre-cancerous lesions in the mouth to be on the safe side, just in case you did get infected with high risk HPV because you could be at risk for oral and other cancers, high risk HPV can be transmitted in saliva via deep kissing, skin to skin contact, etc. penetration need not take place.
I guess your wife should keep getting tested regularly because both of you will never know if you are carrying high risk HPV or not unless she tests HPV positive or you develop HPV related pre-cancerous lesions in your mouth.
As you can see, your comment about bringing "a small risk" into your marriage isn't necessarily accurate. Additionally, research indicates that even low risk (wart causing) HPV may cause the DNA that protects against skin cancer from the sun to turn off in some people, so it might be best for you stay out of the sun.