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Old 04-10-2012, 04:44 PM   #1
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HPV putting stress on marriage

My wife has been diagnosed with HPV (non cancerous) we've been together for almost 30 yrs. since we were 14. She is the ONLY person i ever did anything sexual with and I'm the only person she's ever done anything sexual with! so what gives? I am so frustrated!! She still says I am the only one she's ever done anything sexual with. researching online says this is caused by a sexual encounter, not just intercourse. She denies ever being with anyone else. I know my history , it involves only her . this is really eating me up inside. This is putting a strain on our marriage. What am I supposed to think! right? I know there's others out there with similar situations, believe me I've seen everything that's out there. I've been scouring the net for months researching this. It's killing me, it really is. So if you are in a similar situation how are you dealing with it? I've posted this on a couple different forums now, just really looking for support and ideas on what I need to do for some peace of mind. Thanks!

 
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Old 04-11-2012, 07:30 AM   #2
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Re: HPV putting stress on marriage

That is not the only way to contract HPV. A baby can contract it when born if the mother has it. She may have had it all her life.

 
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Old 04-11-2012, 01:56 PM   #3
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Re: HPV putting stress on marriage

Thanks for the info, I've looked into that, it's really the only other way from what I've been reading. Pretty slim chance of that, from what I've found out. I wish I could have more positive feelings about it, but from what I read it's pretty rare. Her Paps have always been ok, this came out of the blue and has hit me pretty hard. She definitely has more peace of mind over it than me. Thanks again!

 
Old 04-11-2012, 02:23 PM   #4
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Re: HPV putting stress on marriage

It can lie dormant for a very long time. Most women who contract it at birth don't find out for several decades. Sometimes it shows up in children. Thre is no way to know. And the body can clear itself of the virus as well. I think you are dwelling on one aspect of this to the exclusion of other possibilities. Since there is no way to determine timing of the cause, you're either going to have to accept it and move on or make a more drastic change.

 
Old 04-11-2012, 02:43 PM   #5
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Re: HPV putting stress on marriage

HPV is something that can stay dormant for years before any symptoms appear. I recently had an abnormal pap smear and my dr told me it could be because of HPV, thankfully after further testing it wasn't, but when she told me about it, I became really curious and started doing some research on my own. The reason why your wife is so relaxed about it could be because if it is not cancerous. There isn't much either of you can do about it. There is no cure for it or treatment. It usually goes away on its own. There is no way to tell where it could have come from because there is no test for men and it could have been dormant for years. The best way to look at it is that she doesn't have cervical cancer and it's not genital warts, so just move on. If you just do a little research, you will see that it is VERY common.

 
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Old 04-12-2012, 12:30 PM   #6
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Re: HPV putting stress on marriage

My mom found out she had hpv and freaked out thinking my dad cheated. Do you and your wife have any kids? My mother brought her concerns up with her doctor and the way the lesions were set, there is no way she contracted it from intercorse, the male body couldn't reach those areas. Her doctor told her that what probably happened was a nurse scratched her arm or something with her glove on while she was helping deliver my sister. HPV lives on the skin as well. It doesn't mean she cheated, it is very likely a nurse or doctor wasnt very careful while performing a routine pap or examination on your wife and she contracted it that way. Don't stress about it, you have been together since you were 14, she loves you and she really needs you to be supportive right now.

 
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Old 04-13-2012, 10:58 PM   #7
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Re: HPV putting stress on marriage

Thanks brooklynbabii for sharing your story with me. It is comforting to hear that there could be other possibilities. Yes we have children. I get hung up on the web sites like CDC and web Md that say its transmitted sexually or very rarely , possibly through birth. It's a STD and I think those 3 letters really affect me. When she went for her follow up test after her lab work was in . I was in the room with her, we didn't know what to expect, we thought she may have cancer, she was nervous but I was beyond nervous , I was a wreck. All I remember was the doc saying it wasn't cancerous it was HPV. I didn't know what the heck a HPV was? She had to fill me in on the way home.

So I go from being totally relieved it wasn't cancer to wondering how did you get this? I start researching it online and see people claiming a towel or hot tub spread it, then people saying no way look at the CDC website strictly through sexual contact , with a slim chance of getting it at birth. She went back to the dr. and the nurse told her she had a nun with it! There's so much out there about it. Lot of negativity with some adamant about it being sex only while others saying there's other ways.

Bottom line is I need to try and let it go before I go nuts! She's ok with it, I'm doing all the stressing. Thanks again for sharing!

 
Old 04-29-2012, 08:13 PM   #8
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Re: HPV putting stress on marriage

Quote:
Originally Posted by jlm68 View Post
My wife has been diagnosed with HPV (non cancerous) we've been together for almost 30 yrs. since we were 14. She is the ONLY person i ever did anything sexual with and I'm the only person she's ever done anything sexual with! so what gives? I am so frustrated!! She still says I am the only one she's ever done anything sexual with. researching online says this is caused by a sexual encounter, not just intercourse. She denies ever being with anyone else. I know my history , it involves only her . this is really eating me up inside. This is putting a strain on our marriage. What am I supposed to think! right? I know there's others out there with similar situations, believe me I've seen everything that's out there. I've been scouring the net for months researching this. It's killing me, it really is. So if you are in a similar situation how are you dealing with it? I've posted this on a couple different forums now, just really looking for support and ideas on what I need to do for some peace of mind. Thanks!
Hello,

Focus on "healing" & ridding the body over it.

Stressing over it won't help and will only add more stress on your relationship.

I'm personally researching natural alternatives. Cleansing the body and the blood.

Best.

 
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