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Human Papillomavirus (HPV) Message Board
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Old 06-28-2012, 02:32 PM   #1
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Girlinadilemma HB User
Unhappy HPV putting stress on sex life

I was upfront when entering my current relationship with my boyfriend. I told him I have HPV, to my surprise he told me he too has HPV. His ex-girlfriend exposed him to genital warts. He told me he did what he could to prevent not getting it but in the end he still was infected with the virus.

I am not sure what type of HPV I have. All I know is the type I have causes me to have dysplasia and makes my pap smear results come out abnormal. Each time this happens my doctor does a colposcopy. When my doctor gets the results (to the colposcopy) he tells me everything is fine and no further actions are done.

I've been a bit obsessive about this because my boyfriend worries about me infecting him with my strain and getting cancer and vice vera. He's TOO worrisome in that it's taking the fun out of sex. We do not engage in certain types of foreplay and its driving me crazy. My boyfriend thinks that by us not engaging in certain sex acts that we prevent sharing the virus. I told him its a moot point to think that way being that I've been told by my doctor and I've read HPV is spread through skin to skin contact. I also told him there's a possibility he has the strain I have and I have the strain he has.

We've gotten into really bad fights about this to the point where we almost broke up. In the heat of an argument he asked "Your fine with us breaking up? You think it's okay to just date other guys and infect them with HPV?" I simply replied that he's not one to be calling the kettle black. I don't know what to do. I refuse to have HPV take over my life. I am fairly young, only 22. I don't want to have to worry about this 24/7. So long as I see my doctor every 6 months and I pay attention to any changes in my body I don't see it as a big deal yet it seems my boyfriend does. I am just venting my frustration with my current predicament. My boyfriend doesn't want to discuss this anymore and I don't trust my friends enough to tell them what's going on.

Anyways I appreciate any input. Thank you

 
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Old 07-05-2012, 09:32 PM   #2
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tattoogirly HB Usertattoogirly HB Usertattoogirly HB Usertattoogirly HB Usertattoogirly HB Usertattoogirly HB Usertattoogirly HB User
Re: HPV putting stress on sex life

Hi there. I don't know if you have read my thread, but my bf just had a wart removed earlier this week. Seems he has HPV and we are unsure of my status as I have to wait a few more days to get a pap. I can't really give you much advice, as I am really new to this game, but I do have a few questions. What kinds of foreplay does he not want to engage in? Does he not want to perform oral? I ask because I am really unsure and worried about the kind of sex life my bf and I are going to have because of this. Until we know if I have HPV or not, we are basically not having sex (also his wart removal is still really painful and nothing is healed yet). If I have HPV, do you know at all if we are OK to engage in normal sex and foreplay? I am really going crazy not knowing all of the answers and I am not going to my doctors for a few days. Sorry I kind of sabotaged your thread, but no one has responded to mine and I really need some support. If I end up having HPV, too, I am sure I could give you some advice and support as well...Hang in there!

 
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Old 07-08-2012, 01:45 AM   #3
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Re: HPV putting stress on sex life

Yes he does not want to engage in oral sex...I didn't want to be so blunt lol.
Regarding your questions, from what I've read condoms help reduce transmission of the virus but there is a rather high possibility that you have HPV being that the virus is spread via skin to skin contact. It's up to you and your partner to decided what kind of sex life you have. If you don't have HPV, will YOU be okay will the possibility of him passing the virus to you? This is something the two of you need to discuss. My boyfriend and I still have sex but oral sex is off the table. He feels that by not doing it we prevent sharing the virus. Well he's wrong but I'm not really fighting it because we haven't been together that long and he is looking out for the both of us. This is how I see HPV, it's not a big deal so long as you watch for changes and see your doctor. Statistics show that 80% of sexually active people have HPV some don't even know it. That's a lot of f**king people. It's just another common virus that everyone will end up having like cold sores. Just wait to do your pap smear and if nothing shows up make sure to follow up in 6 months because HPV can just lay dormant for years and then pop up out of no where.

 
Old 07-29-2012, 09:03 AM   #4
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Re: HPV putting stress on sex life

My Husband and I have HPV. the kind that causes warts. I would like to let you know that the types that cause warts are low risk and CAN NOT cause Cancer. Just because you haven't had a wart on the outside doesn't mean that you couldn't have one on the inside... If a pap comes back abnormal then that's fine.. It just detects cell changes (possible start of a wart, or precancerous cells) That's what the other test is for.. if that has come back and says everything is fine then you probably have the kind that causes warts and you just haven't had a visible wart yet. there is a test that the doctor can do to see which strain you have.

Warts on your hands is HPV
plantar (feet) warts is HPV
any wart comes from HPV
what is a wart?
It's just skin that grows too fast.. creating a wart bump.. which eventually will flake away and leave on it's own. If you are super self concious about it then yes there are treatments. But in all honesty some doctors don't bother treating them!
also Cervical Cancer is the slowest cancer out there.
Personally I am Glad I have HPV instead of something worse. HPV is basically unavoidable. some statistics say that 70% some say that 80% of adults have HPV. the Truth is that the other 20-30% probably have it too because I really don't believe that 20-30% of adults are still virgins.. and even if they were when they say those stats they are talking about HPV as a whole wether its Genital or Plantar or the ones on your hands. The fact that it can lay dormant for years... I'm willing to bet that the only people that don't have it are the adults that are virgins and even then they may have other types of warts...

 
Old 02-20-2013, 05:08 PM   #5
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suntangerine HB User
Re: HPV putting stress on sex life

That guy sounds horrible! You're right, you should be able to continue foreplay! And hpv is SOOOOOOOOOOO COMMON. Can't say that enough. You should never ever ever worry that the hpv will prevent you from other relationships. Love yourself, free yourself, and continue living worry free. You're going to be okay. I want to hug everyone who feels like you!
XX

 
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colposcopy, hpv, relationship problems, stress



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