HPV - Human Papillomavirus (HPV) Message Board

janne · 06-05-2002, 10:01 AM

I just had a colposcope and have to have some pre-cancerous cells frozen on my cervex,(its HPV) although I am not toooo worried cause I know that the cancer will be stopped and I have my pap's religiously. I never had any warts and I do understand that I will have the HPV virus, and that it is not cureable.

But....

What I am worried about is that I am feeling guilty and dirty. The man I am dating now is freaking out, I am only the second woman he has ever been with.

I am afraid to tell anyone because of the stigma of an std..... help.... I haven't even told anyone in my family yet....

Christine-MA · 06-05-2002, 11:27 AM

Janne,

Read my last few posts. I'm in the exact same boat. Except I haven't told my bf yet, so I give you tons of credit for that. I just told my mom the other day because she wanted to come with me for the LEEP procedure to remove the cells, and so I had to tell her what was going on. And what she says is "at least it's not clamydia or anything else" but thing is, at least thats CURABLE! That's the worst part, that this will be in me forever, and I can pass it on to anyone else I'm ever with! And so will my bf. So believe me I see where your guilt comes in. I never had any warts either, so if I hadn't had the pap I probably wouldn't have known, and they say it can (although I wouldn't recommend it) go away on it's own.

I feel "dirty" too. I told my best friend, and my mom, and that's about it. Reading the statistics, so many people have it, some don't even know...but I know the stigmatism you talk about. It's really not alot of people's business, so only tell the people you feel need to know (in my case, my BF!), and try to realize it's something that comes with life, I guess. Just make sure you go ahead with treatment, so that you're healthy.
Do you know what procedure they are doing? Like I said, I'm having the LEEP done on Friday. I'll let you know how that goes.
How did you find the colposcopy?
My thoughts are with you =O)
Christine
Also, do some research, the more you know, the better you may feel

[This message has been edited by Christine-MA (edited 06-05-2002).]

janne · 06-05-2002, 11:53 AM

Christine

Thank you sooo much for responding. I am having cryo... somtehing, they are freezing them.

I have only told two people, my bf and a friend of mine who has also had the same procedure. She took me for the colposcopy ( because she was in much pain from it). She is also taking me for the freezing.

I hope that my bf and I can get past this..... He works out of town a lot so I havent been with him since I told him. I feel it is definately going to change things..... he keeps asking me questions.... even though we use condoms he can still get it.... and then he has questions about oral sex. I keep telling him to go and get tested...... but he doesn't want to know.....I am not even sure if there is a test... i know you can get a blood test for hpv but there are so many different kinds.

let me know how your procedure goes and how it goes with the bf...

Christine-MA · 06-05-2002, 12:24 PM

Thanks Janne,
I'll let you know how Friday goes.
My bf and I have been through so much, I can't imagine he won't stick by me when I tell him what I'm going through.
It's hard though, because I will want him to get tested, and if he does have it, that will be no surprise, but I'm still not sure what can be done about it, especially with no symptoms. It's more important for the female to have these procedures done I guess. And if he doesn't have it, ok then, what, are we never going to have sex again? I don't know, that's kinda why I've postponed telling him for a while...

xeni · 06-11-2002, 12:12 AM

Hi Jane

You mentioned, "What I am worried about is that I am feeling guilty and dirty. The man I am dating now is freaking out, I am only the second woman he has ever been with."

I have hpv and I felt similar feelings at first. The only way to get through it is to realize that you are not perfect, and that everyone makes mistakes. As long as you learn from this mistake of however you contracted HPV, then you are on the right track. We are always so much harder on ourselves than others, or than God is. You are not dirty. You just made a mistake,,, and I made one too. And we will learn from it, move on and make better choices in the future! Best of luck to you!!!