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Old 11-15-2012, 10:38 PM   #1
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she came home with cervical cancer been together since middle school

so does this mean after forty years she finds a strain of hpv that causes cancer. we, or i have never been with anyone else. she won't talk about it.
i would love answers.

 
Old 11-16-2012, 05:50 AM   #2
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Re: she came home with cervical cancer been together since middle school

HPV is only one factor in cervical cancer. My sister had cervical cancer and had never had HPV, had only ever been with her husband, a virgin when they met. It is NOT a STD, any woman can get it from a number of triggers. Sera

 
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Old 11-16-2012, 06:38 AM   #3
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Re: she came home with cervical cancer been together since middle school

While the vast majority of cervical cancers are caused by HPV, smoking is also a cause. Has she ever smoked? Have you? Also, some cases of cervical cancer have no known cause. So, I wouldn't be jumping to any conclusions on this one.

 
Old 11-18-2012, 10:06 AM   #4
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Re: she came home with cervical cancer been together since middle school

i did't mean to sound cold in my post, she was treated with leep ? in early stages and gotten a clean bill of health. however,

a long time ago my dr. insisted i played around and even said my wife did if i didn't. i had an infection but it was oral. its an std, but i thought it was from oral sex so it was treated. i never even questioned it in my mind but all the pieces started to form. one day the cervical problem just popped in my head.
then i found the literature on cervical cancer and they fit.
i'm too overwhelmed as to what to do.

 
Old 11-18-2012, 01:51 PM   #5
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Re: she came home with cervical cancer been together since middle school

I'm not sure exactly what you can do at this point. I think you have done all you can. She is being treated and am sure following up on a regular basis with her doctors. That's probably the only course of action.

 
Old 11-26-2012, 10:28 PM   #6
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Unhappy Re: she came home with cervical cancer been together since middle school

i now see she had it five years into us, so how long can it last before it causes her cancer? and does it go away with the strain of hpv that causes cancer?
this is tough to digest.

 
Old 11-27-2012, 03:59 AM   #7
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Re: she came home with cervical cancer been together since middle school

Those are questions for her doctor. It may never manifest in cancer. But as to what strain she has and the prognosis for it, etc, your best source of information is her gyno.
I assume you go with her to her appointments.

 
Old 11-27-2012, 08:25 AM   #8
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Re: she came home with cervical cancer been together since middle school

no this is from years of trusting and not micromanaging our relationship. now i wish i listened more closely to friends advice. i am now.

 
Old 11-27-2012, 08:33 AM   #9
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Re: she came home with cervical cancer been together since middle school

my opinion is that you should be more supportive of your wife, she's dealing with a medical issue and less accusatory in your tone.....
the fact that she "came home with cervical cancer" isn't proof of any infidelity.....sometimes these things just happen! And my guess is that she doesn't have cervical cancer, she has some atypical cells that need to be removed before it possibly does turn into cancer.....a pre-cancerous condition, which is fairly common.
She's being treated, so it probably will be fine, but if my husband came at me in an accusatory manner like you seem to be doing with your wife, I might have second thoughts about staying married to him..........food for thought.

 
Old 11-28-2012, 03:42 AM   #10
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Re: she came home with cervical cancer been together since middle school

I'm not sure that accepting the gossip of friends should trump medical science. You need to talk with her doctor since you haven't. And I can understand that you give each other latitude and don't micromanage each other's life. However, I would question my husband if he didn't accompany me to a medical procedure/surgery and talk with my physician about the findings/prognosis/etc.z

 
Old 01-04-2013, 03:29 AM   #11
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Re: she came home with cervical cancer been together since middle school

she is all healed after the removal process and since then gotten pregnant and had another child. what recently sparked my interest in hpv and cervical cancer is that i found out the cause and started putting pieces of a puzzle together.
the pieces have been given to me for years but no one would come right out and say anything specific. so after my first post i asked and thought about everything and now i am at the point where i am going to have to get a paternity test on my youngest child.
this really explained a lot of things over the years.
my marriage has been ok lately and some people say i should let it go. does time excuse cheating? i don't feel that way.

 
Old 01-04-2013, 05:13 AM   #12
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Re: she came home with cervical cancer been together since middle school

While I understand your concern, why would you do that to the child? It thinks you are its father. I urge you to consider the child first and not yourself. You could open a Pandora's box of trouble for that child that may negatively impact for him/her for the remainder of their life.

 
Old 01-04-2013, 06:40 AM   #13
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Re: she came home with cervical cancer been together since middle school

Quote:
Originally Posted by coldcoxme View Post
she is all healed after the removal process and since then gotten pregnant and had another child. what recently sparked my interest in hpv and cervical cancer is that i found out the cause and started putting pieces of a puzzle together.
the pieces have been given to me for years but no one would come right out and say anything specific. so after my first post i asked and thought about everything and now i am at the point where i am going to have to get a paternity test on my youngest child.
this really explained a lot of things over the years.
my marriage has been ok lately and some people say i should let it go. does time excuse cheating? i don't feel that way.
coldcoxme.....I have trouble understanding how you are getting from point A to point B......you have NO proof of cheating, and I bet if you get that paternity test you will find out, as Maury says "you ARE the father"

 
Old 01-05-2013, 09:51 AM   #14
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Re: she came home with cervical cancer been together since middle school

Whoa whoa whoa. Let's calm it down a minute. Though rare HPV may remain in a latent (dormant) state for years. The circumstance your wife finds herself in is not at all unusual. This is not particularly indicative of infidelity AT ALL. I agree with other posters. You're going to open a can of worms in requesting a paternity test, and potentially create a mountain of trust issues between you and your wife that may seriously compromise the health of your relationship. If you trust your wife, and have no reasonable proof of infidelity (HPV is not proof of cheating, by the way) then trust your wife and move on from this.

 
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