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Old 01-12-2005, 05:58 PM   #1
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punkrokchk2000 HB User
My boyfriend, the hypochondriac, thinks he got herpes from me...

ok, that subject line sounded awfully harsh, and I in no way intended for it to sound that way.

To keep my story short and sweet, I will get right down to the point. I contracted herpes over 2 years ago. Since that initial (painful) outbreak, I haven't had one reoccurance, and have had normal sex with other partners....(who, in turn, never contracted it)

So now I've finally found the one. Quick history: I met him in the middle of june last year, the most attractive man I had seen in a long time... and unfortunately we went a little too far on one of our first "dates". I performed oral on him, but that was as far as is got. I didn't want to have sex with him because I knew I had genital herpes, and I wanted to wait. A few days later I became scared and broke it off - I wasn't ready for a commitment, I told myself, primarily because I had been hurt really really bad 2 years prior. There was no contact between us for about a week and a half, and then he writes me an email, accusing me of giving him herpes. He says he didn't go to the doctor, that all the symptoms point to it: small zits below the belly button (?!?), dizziness and headache.

Oh god, you have no idea how horrible I felt. I wrote him back right away and told him I seriously, honest to God didn't know I had oral herpes, otherwise I would have never performed oral sex on him. Things settled down and he moved away and then he unexpectadely came back to visit and we met and it was like I was looking at a whole new person. I opened my eyes and realized that I couldn't let this chance pass up...I quit drinking alcohol (which was a huge reason why I thought I wasn't ready for a commitment), and he ended up staying in my town for 2 1/2 more weeks. He then moved back to the coast for good this time, and I knew deep in my heart that I wanted to be with him - maybe even forever. so then 2 months later I moved away from my "home" town...and right in with the man that I will marry one day...

Woah. Getting off subject. So get this: he took a blood test and tested NEGATIVE for herpes!!! This was before I moved in, mind you. He didn't understand it and thought the test could have been wrong. I have had 2 other outbreaks (other than the initial one 2 years ago) and that was when I moved out here. The stress got to me. And another when I got back onto Birth Control 3 months ago. Blech. Spent $500 on doctors and meds, just to find out on my OWN that I was really just having an outbreak, not Bacterial Vaginosis/Yeast/Bladder Infections. Fun, huh.

My boyfriend and I have been having unprotected sex for the past 2 1/2 months. His dizziness and headaches haven't gone away since day one. He went to a doctor about a month ago, and lied to them, telling them he knew he had herpes and so they prescribed him with Acyclovir. He ended up even taking 6 pills a day - but to no avail. Last week he went to the SAME doctor, and he asked to get put on Valtrex. He's been on it for the past week, and his dizziness and headaches still haven't subsided.

This is another thing I don't get: his "zits" are right below his belly button. The "zits" that I get when I have an outbreak are monsterous compared to the puny zits he has....and besides - I thought outbreaks only occur in the initial spot where skin to skin contact took place. I don't recall rubbing my mouth and tounge all over his stomach...seriously.

I also got tested for everything in the book before I moved out here to live with him - I have nothing....and you know what else? I'm not an asymptomatic shedder: which means I can't spread the virus without having visible lesions.

My boyfriend is a hypochondriac...even he admits it. He's got a lot of medical history - doctors somewhere else told him he had chrone's disease...turned out it was "just" IBS. They told him he also may have colon cancer. He's got bad digestive problems and his stomach is constantly swollen. He has asthma. He's allergic to animals. And he's also a vegetarian that doesn't take any other vitamins/protein supplements - which may be the cause of his dizziness/headacheness?

I honestly don't blame him for having lost all faith in doctors...

But deep down I seriously believe that he never contracted herpes from me at all! *sighs* I mean - even the blood test came back negative! I'm sorry for going on and on....any thoughts would be greatly appreciated...

Good night!

Sleepless in Seattle

 
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Old 01-12-2005, 06:59 PM   #2
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Re: My boyfriend, the hypochondriac, thinks he got herpes from me...

asymptomatic shedder



Wait what? Sorry but I thuoght that everyone was automaticly a shedder.... how do you know you are not?? I have herpes simplex 1 genitaly... but I WANT a normal sex life.... maybe Im not a shedder either?!?! is there a way to find out?

And... have you told him that you have genital herpes? because you dont say in your post.

If he tested negative he probably is... but he can contract it at any time from you, so he might get a posotive the next time he gets tested.

 
Old 01-12-2005, 07:46 PM   #3
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punkrokchk2000 HB User
Re: My boyfriend, the hypochondriac, thinks he got herpes from me...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heavensent102
asymptomatic shedder



Wait what? Sorry but I thuoght that everyone was automaticly a shedder.... how do you know you are not?? I have herpes simplex 1 genitaly... but I WANT a normal sex life.... maybe Im not a shedder either?!?! is there a way to find out?

And... have you told him that you have genital herpes? because you dont say in your post.

If he tested negative he probably is... but he can contract it at any time from you, so he might get a posotive the next time he gets tested.

Well - I don't know how reliable my OB/GYN in Missoula, MT is...but I saw him for a long long time before I moved out here. He has always been very helpful - older gentleman: must be in his late 50's. But anyway - either you test positive or negative for being an asymptomatic shedder. This means that you can transmit the virus even if you don't show any symptoms. And I happen to not be one of those...I don't know what type of test they do, but I believe they take a culture swab. How accurate that is I don't know.

But in all honesty - I had a boyfriend shortly after the initial outbreak, and he knew that I had herpes...and we still had sex (with a condom, of course) - and he never got it. When I initially contracted herpes, it was from a one night stand - but we used a condom! So now when I have an ob I get them at the bottom of my "vaginal entrance" - where the original skin contact occurred. So that's why I'm stumped - how on earth could my boyfriend have herpes when the little zits are below his belly button??

I told my boyfriend as soon as he accused me of giving him genital herpes that yes, it was true that I had genital herpes...but tested negative for the oral kind - so I was sure he was in the clear. In the meantime I've gotten onto birthcontrol and we have a healthy sexlife - unprotected. He is aware of the risk he's taking....even if he is negative. But I don't know - I just want a piece of mind to know that he's negative... I love him to death, and just am worried that his symptoms might be stemming from something completely different.

How often are your outbreaks, heavensent? Like I said...mine are few and far between......I guess I'm just one of the lucky ones...

 
Old 01-12-2005, 09:18 PM   #4
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internet! HB User
Re: My boyfriend, the hypochondriac, thinks he got herpes from me...

unless they swabbed you daily for months on end, one swab is not possible to determine whether or not someone sheds. Most studies you see, the longer out they swab the participants the higher percentage of those who shed.

 
Old 01-12-2005, 09:30 PM   #5
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Re: My boyfriend, the hypochondriac, thinks he got herpes from me...

So let me get this straight your b/f just automatically assumed he had herpes and went to his doctor and got on acyclovir, and then after that ran out got put on valtrex? What the heck for? Does he want herpes that bad? The little "zits" could be what you say they are ZITS! Has he gone in and had any of these zits swabed and sent to a lab to confrim?!

It sounds to me like he just wants it so he can say he has something? Sounds very werid I know. But that is all my brain can figure!

I'd take him by the hand to the doctor and watch them swab them bad boys!

 
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