I usually can't go a day, let alone a few hours, without breaking down and crying over the thought of being diagnosed with something horrible and dying.
I think my actual fear is that I will get diagnosed with something that cannot be cured (ie. widespread cancer or something) or something that they said was my fault for not getting checked out, then I will die and everyone will be angry with me.
I know this isn't the physical health boards, but do I really have something to be worried about? Currently my theory is (and I'm only 20)
Started with bone cancer in my skull base at age 16 (next to my eye-bc I have a little bump there), then metastasized to other parts of my skull (i have a bump on the top of my head), then to the lymph nodes in my neck, then to my knee (I get occasional knee pain but have had an xray which showed nothing). Now I have had a cough/upper bronchial infection twice in the last two months that I swear is a direct result from the cancer moving into my lungs. I haven't lost any weight, have been healthy up until my cough, and my blood test came back perfect.
I know this is all crazy but I need something to pull myself back into reality. My relationship with my bf of four years is taking a serious blow as my situation fails to improve.
Any advice on how to change your perspective on this?
Thank you all for being here..this board has been a blessing to find (so I know I'm not all alone).
I feel for you. It sounds like you really have yourself worked up into believing some things that are definitely not wrong with you. I know this sounds obvious, but have you seen a doctor about the bumps? I am sure they would convince you that you have nothing (or something less tragic than you described) to worry about.
I can understand what you are talking about. I sometimes feel the same way, I go from thinking I have a brain tumor due to talking on my cell phone, to breast cancer and so forth I'm always worried that I have cancer and will miss it until it's to late to treat it. However, I have come to the conclusion that all I can do is pray about it trust in God to help me and when my mind wonders and starts to worry about it I have to stop myself from thinking about it and start to think about something else. As I've been dealing with this for many years now and have learned if you don't stop the cycle of thinking about your health it will only get worse and before you know it all you do is think about your health. I've also realized that if I'm worried about my health all the time then I'm not living the life I do have. So my best advise is go to the Dr. get things checked out then when you start to go down the path of worrying about your health remind your self that you already had a physical and everything is okay. Then try to re-focus on something else. Hope you get to feeling better so as it's a hard road to go down.
I hear you. I have SEVERE hypochondria - have had it since I was 11 and I am 30 now. I am always scared that I have cancer, but mainly a brain tumor. It is on my mind every single day of my life. I have been so exhausted lately, and my mind is in a total fog. I swear I am dying from something right now, and just don't know about it.
I am in bad shape, but am still functioning in day to day life. I go to work and interviews (I am looking for a new job) but my sleep is awful and I wake up feeling like I have been hit by a train. I worry all day long that I am dying from cancer. I even feel like I am going to cry now because I am so so so overwhelmed with this feeling. I have had this for years, and am usually great about keeping it under control, but I am doing really badly right now.
Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I am going to try and post more on this board, I need the support.
I am so sorry you are having a hard time with this also. I think the worst part about all this is that no one seems to take my seriously when I talk about how alone I feel and how scared I am. Everyone just says "get over it, hypochondria isn't even a real disorder" and then I am left not only scared to death of having something horrible, but so alone that no one can even attempt to understand what I am going through.
Right now I am going through the period of thinking everyone else is crazy and just saying stuff so I will shut up, without actually thinking that I may be really experiencing these things.
Hope everyone is having a good day today. That's all you can do, take it one day at a time!
Yes, hypochondria and OCD are connected - I was diagnosed with both panic disorder and OCD when I was 19. My grandpa had OCD and he washed his hands constantly - my OCD comes out in the form of health and disease obsession.
Carrie, I know how you feel! No one but my mom seems to really take me seriously, my husband gets really annoyed with me at times. I am on a "cancer kick" right now and it is so awful. I have been lightheaded on and off for days, and I am always tired, and I swear I have some sort of cancer and am dying. I am not sure if it is the anxiety causing my symptoms - when you are in the middle of a bad bout of anxiety it is hard to know what is real and what is imagined.
I am glad that I found this board. I don't know anyone in my "real" life that has this disease, but it is so helpful to know that there are many others out there that feel like I do. I just wish I hadn't been born with this curse. Everyday is a struggle to feel normal, and not think about death and dying 24/7. I refuse to go on meds, so I really have to learn to control my thought processes better. I did go to counseling, but even the counselor seems stumped over my extreme fear of death, LOL!