so tell us about it so we can get this subject started. I post a lot on the High and Low Blood Pressure Board because I have bp spikes and as you can imagine plenty of hypochondria (health anxiety) about this. I also have just a general fear of anything heart related, palpitations all of that. I have been to all of the doctors and had all of the tests. I also obsessively check things, like did I take my meds, is the stove off etc.
There is so much to tell. I have a doctor phobia so it is very difficult for me to got see a doctor for fear of bad news. I have severe anxiety every routine yearly appointment that I need to take a tranquilizer just to get myself there, then all the tests and waiting for results just puts me over the edge. I am going through peri menopause and have a lot of symptoms, one of them being panic attacks and heart palpitations, this is very scary. I can't even say the C word as it scares me to death, both my parents passed away from it. I guess I live in constant fear of dying. I can go on and on.
All sounds very familiar and I know how hard it is to be dealing with this. I have been heart phobic since I was around 20 and I am 37 now. I was opposite of you for a while, constantly going to doctors for tests and reassurance now I hate to go because of the dreaded blood pressure cuff. I always think I have every ailment that I hear about and assume I am going to suffer some horrible illness and death. It's rough, I now how you feel.
Just know you aren't alone.
Thank you Ivy, it's good to hear I'm not alone. Sometimes it is so bad that I take pills to calm me down and I can't even tell my husband. I have been to therapists but they don't help at all. My doctor wants to put me on anti depressants but I tried them once and I hate it, the side effects are brutal. I can't watch certain programs on TV because I get terrified to the core, I wake up at night and the first thought that comes into my head is death and extinction. I wouldn't say I'm depressed, I have a great life, I am frightened of death. My home office is filled with books on angels, the afterlife, near death experiences and anything to do with proof of life after death. I'm hoping that there is more to my life than this.
I'm pretty bad.
The following user gives a hug of support to Mandarra: ThePatriot (11-14-2010)
I have been there, I know how you feel and I have gotten past a lot of it. I worry about illness a lot and death even but when the though comes I just try to do something else. It helps me to read a book or watch tv (I like to read the star magazine or something like that it makes me feel like I am not alone). I guess I have learned that I can sit here and be miserable about death and illness and waste my life or I can do my best to enjoy the time I have. Easy to say, I know.
I'm so glad to find people like me....I have always been obsessed with death and dying..since I was a kid...and one of my kids...told me that they are always worried about it...and they asked me WHY they worry about it...I had never mentioned that I was worried about it too. Alot of it for me has to do with wanting proof that there is something...and I have received many SIGNS that there is.....but why I won't be convinced I don't know. And I did make a deal wtih myself in October that helped a WEE bit...I decided that FOR the rest of October...the last 2 weeks....anytime, dying or illness popped into my head...I was going to refuse to think about it JUST FOR OCTOBER. It did help SOMEWHAT. So, why don't we all TRY doing that for NOVEMBER. Lets just not think about it....or if we DO....stop right away and SAY...NOT FOR NOVEMBER.
AND...just a side note...I remember when I take antidepressents...the thoughts are MUCH less...but I hate the side effects of antidepressents...but I really don't know what is worse...the side effects or thinking about dying all the time hmmmmm
Good plan for November. Like you I remember being around 8 years old and realizing I would die and being terrified..I still get that way. The only thing we can do though is ignore the thoughts and keep trying to enjoy the time we have. When I have those thoughts I just tell myself "no, not going to go there now" and I try to think of pleasant things. What else can we do afterall.