So ive been what I now believe a hypochondriac for about 7 months now. First started with my moles in April don't know what bought it on but I have always had a lot of moles on my body and never bothered me then one day I looked at them and thought "why are some different shapes?" and started researching melanomas.....
Went to my doctor to have them checked and he asked the routine questions... Noticeable changes, itching, bleeding of which I had none so he said to take photos and check every few months to see if any have changed... great anxiety over right? wrong!
The next thing I had was a bit of redness on my cheekbones in May, the demon that is google said lupus amongst many other diseases, went to the local walk in centre as I was so worried and couldn't wait for an appointment silly nurse told me she didnt know but possible shingles! and gave me antibiotics took a weeks worth and went back to walk in centre as it hadnt cleared. Got to see a doctor this time who laughed at the fact id been told shingles and said its hardly noticeable possibly mild seborrhoeic dermatitis and gave me some steroid cream which took the edge off it. Then once again best friend google came into play, seborrhoeic dermatitis = yeast overgrowth = hiv/aids patients... great now I had HIV.
Went to a clinic to get tested for HIV, (only ever had 2 sexual partners and both in long term relationships) they basically told me do you know how likely you are to have HIV? and told me id more likely win the lottery I had the test done week later came back negative! whoopee problems solved... oh no
couple of weeks later developed a really bad case of laryngitis could hardly talk... more antibiotics, cleared up only I noticed a bump inside my bout slightly smaller than the size of a pea... mouth cancer! After multiple doctors prescribing me antibiotics I ended up getting a referral from my own doctor to go and see a maxillofacial surgeon in august. Went to see him who poked and prodded asked about symptoms of which i didnt really have any (at the time) and told me it was either a mucous retention cyst or a bit of scar tissue from a tonsillectomy I had as a child and its probably always been there once again I was relieved for the time being.
Few weeks later the death of my uncle with stomach cancer, I get home from the funeral and look in the mirror at my throat. Back of my throat is full of tiny bumps smaller than the one in my mouth, "OMG he was wrong, it was mouth cancer and its spreading." Again multiple doctors telling me theres nothing wrong with my throat and by this time my own doctor is fed up telling me that its in my head stop worrying otherwise you will need counselling. This was not reassuring. After googling over and over I start to get stuffy noses everyday and a constant feeling of needing to hock rubbish from my throat to no avail.
Then I go out one night and get really drunk with friends hadnt had a drink in so long because I was always "ILL" that I was hammered. Got in and felt sick as a dog and in the usual fashion stuck my fingers down my throat to throw up, once again bam my world turn upside down after seeing blood in the toilet... never thinking that i had caught my throat while sticking my thingers down and it was tender with all the hocking i'd been doing. Now I had stomach cancer/throat cancer.
From this day on I had symptoms that would come and go, pains in the left temple area being one, sore throat, stuffy nose etc.
I had an obsession with making myself throw up to see if there was any blood in it... once or twice there was in which case I found it was coming from both sides of my tongue where they were catching on my wisdom teeth while wretching. Then I started focusing more on the stomach cancer due to it being in the family. After googling all about this I start getting abdominal pains that would come and go, and more frequent belching and my other symptoms would subside....
Then last week I did a lot of research on candida and though "Hey I fit the bill!" as im guessing any hypochondriac does? Did the candida diet for a week and researched some more and how many think its a scam and in that week I lost around 8pounds in weight and gave me quite loose stools throughout... which scared me into thinking I had stomach cancer once again. On tuesday I stopped the diet the first thing I eat... a chicken tikka kebab VERY RED Dyed Food. The day after bam I hit the toilet, and guess whats in my stool, Red "blood" not thinking I picked up the phone to book in the doctors got in for this Monday. Then of course google comes into play... I now have colon cancer. Then I realise "Oh wait I had that kebab last night" maybe its just that. Yesterday stool was fine... wow what a relief. Then today I pass another stool "OMG theres red in it again" but only a little bit thats it im straight through to the walk in centre. Doctor does his checks and says no haemorrhoids so I want you to go to your doctor on monday I have wrote him a letter and you will have a stool examination. Thats it then i'm sure I have got colon cancer get home worried sick and googling colon cancer, since then I end up going toilet again yet again, from first appearance "yep there definitely red in there!" so as nasty as it sounds I take a closer look only to find what looked red was in fact orange and looked more like a piece of undigested food of which ive had a lot of since being on this diet...
So finally im getting to the main point, since researching colon cancer and realising this gives flatulence not belching ive stopped belching nearly as much and had more flatulence.
Is it possible for hypochondriacs to have symptoms appear after looking in to them as it seems as though thats whats happening with me... I must admit that ive had softer stools on and off for quite some time now (since I started this anxiety) but over this week they have been a lot looser... not to the point of complete diarrhoea but loosing a lot of form.
The worst thing a person with a tendency to "Health Anxiety" can do is "google" symptoms. The mind is a very powerful thing and you can conjure up all kinds of symptoms when you read about them. I've done it to myself. The web is a wonderful thing, but a little bit of knowledge can be dangerous. Try to stay away from "research" and only check things out when you have a diagnosis. I know it's easier said than done. I shouldn't be on this website either Take care and try to stop worrying before you make yourself sick
I agree our brain can play some mind tricks. And that could be lethal. I am the same but not as bad. When i hear some one is sick and they say how they feel...i get sick too...I have a huge cancer fobia and aidsfobia...i can not even read those words or hear people talk about them because i get paranoid...you are brave! I don't think i could get tested for hiv ...if it was positive maybe i would jump off from a bridge...that fobia was driving me crazy...i developed some symptoms after reading online...i started having panic attacks and one day in a meditation session i heard i gotta keep myself busy... Concentrate on what i am doing...suPress those bad thoughts and think of happy momments . I have a 3 year old and instead of spending my life thinking that i am going to die soon of a terrible disease ...i spend my time watching him learn and grow and I decided that I can not die right now...i have to see my son graduate from college and get married and have children...i still have some ugly thoughts from time. To time but i fight them...keep fighting! Repeat to yourself you are a healthy person...smile...eat good...don't smoke, do not use drugs...and make others happy. And if you are a religious person...pray...i hope you get to feel better.
The Following User Says Thank You to MrsOlga For This Useful Post: WorryWorm2 (01-26-2012)