This isn't the first time I've posted on this website because health has always been my obsession. I easily become fixated on things and research them until I believe I am genuinely sick or dying. It is more than likely stress related and its intensity comes and goes, but in between the obsessions about my own health I have been worried about the health of my loved ones to the point that I can hardly sleep at night. This is especially true for my boyfriend. A few weeks ago I got really sick at his house, flu-like stuff, and my dad said it sounded like CO2 poisoning...since I had had my flu shot. Since then, I have been completely taken over by the idea. My boyfriend is very non-worrisome...which is usually good. But this meant I couldn't convince him to get a CO2 detector. Last night he came down with similar flu-like symptoms (I live an hour and a half away) and I am terrified that he is going to...frankly, die. I am sick about it. I can't stop checking up on him, researching, asking what his symptoms are. I get scared when he says he's going to sleep. I wonder if he is actually about to pass out from being poisoned and is confusing it with fatigue. The worst part is, I know how unlikely it is. We visited his parents a week ago and his dad had the flu at the time. My bf hasn't had a flu shot. It's probably that, but I have this overwhelming fear that it's him being poisoned to death instead.
Whether anyone is reading this or not, I just needed to get it out. I feel completely out of control and don't want to annoy him with my worry while he's sick. I am just so scared that he's going to fall asleep and not wake up. And worse, I would be oblivious to it because I live an hour and a half away. Has anyone else placed their obsessions onto their loved ones?
I know how you feel, I am so worried about my own health, The obsession takes over my life I can't function sometimes...Your condition seem the most like mine from what I have read so far... I'm on medication but for the last 2yrs it's been impossible to adjust my medication to balance out my depression..., at this time I'm too consumed with myself to think about anyone other than me....although there have been times when I have worried about family members...I know all depressed people have different fears but for me the focus is all about me...I am so unhappy and afraid all the time....I hope you find some peace soon
I hope the same for you! It is a shame that people like us cannot enjoy the good parts of our life because we spend too much time worrying about all of the possibilities surrounding them. For me, every joyous occasion is stained with the fear of dying on the way there, or something even more ridiculous. I wish I had advice to offer, but I am only beginning my attempt at healing. I just started therapy last week and I pray it gives me some relief! I have high hopes! Just hang in there and know that you aren't alone. There are plenty of us who have crazy, irrational fears and constant worries. I think the first step is accepting that bad things are inevitable, but it doesn't help to dwell on them. We have to enjoy our lives despite the tragedies that sometimes come along the way. Good luck!
First of all, I am so glad I checked to see if the Healthboards site had a place for Hypochondria!
Secondly, I cannot tell you how much I relate. I am the same way. I obsess and worry to the point of tears. Seriously! I can't turn it off. I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Glad you have a place to vent, so we can all relate and hopefully dim your fears just a little bit.
I'm glad we can relate to one another! It does bring a lot of comfort, especially on nights like tonight when my anxiety is heightened and I'm worried about things very similar to my original post. I'm comforted that others feel this way...but unfortunately that doesn't always stop what I'm fixating on at them moment. But I'm sure that's not news to anyone reading!