NY 1009

Hi, my name is Linda,
I'm considering a hysterectomy because of ovarian cysts since 1998.
they just don't go away, and are continueing to get worst.
I'm tired of getting a scare everytime they give the trans vag and find the cyst's have changed to worst. then the doc waits another cycle and the radiologist says ovary still enlarged, cysts still there but the dangerous appearance has changed.
I've had the same cyst on the only ovary I have left since last nov.2004 when they did a cat scan for unexplained weight loss. they found a huge cyst.
then it burst in Jan. I went to er. they said to do a follow up U/S. I couldn't because my regular gyn didn't want to participate with oxford anylonger and hired a new associate who would take all her oxford patients and she wasn't arriving to the practice till April.

so I waited.
went in , introduced myself, explained why I was there for a follow up and she never sent me for an ultra sound. said the cysts felt small.
I didn't want to request it myself.
welll, I wound up back in her office after my gastro dr ordered a special test for the pancereas thinking I might have pancreatitis and they found the same cyst there and it looked abnormal with ascities in upper fundus area and in cul de sac. that fluid hurts when it hits the peritoneal tissue. the cul de sac is near the colon. that's why it hurts so much when the cysts leak or burst.

I am a pro at this by now.

why on earth isn't this dr. offering to go in a look at the cysts that won't dissipate? I'm 45 yrs old, am not in premenopausaual yet because I'm cycling regularly, just bleeding in between periods, hormone levels normal for my age.
both my older sisters have had breast cancer and one of them cervical cancer.
my dad had colon cancer and died of that. he waited too long to see a dr.
anyway,.
this means I am at high risk of ovarian cancer. I am of eastern descent as well. my grandmother back in Czechoslovakia died of a female reproductive cancer. my mother said she had a tumor in there and it grew.
we never saw the death certificate. so I don't know now if she had ovarian cancer or a fibroid that turned bad.
,y older sister who had the hysterectomy becasue of her cervical cancer, they took out everything, ovaries, tubes, uterus, cervix.
she's never been married, never had children and is single.
I've heard horror stories about womans sexual life changing after hysterectomies. I heard a woman gets vaginal dryness, that she has low level of desire.
do any of you who've had hyster's go thru this?
I care about my partner. I don't want to turn into this old dried up prune that has no vitality left in me.
I already have a problem with anger and moodiness. so bad in fact that my psychiatrist put me on a drug called klonopine. she told me to take one in the a.m. and one at night.
I walked around like a zombie at work the first day on it.
they sent me home.
told me not to take it anymore in the a.m.
my anger has subsided tremendously. I don't feel as moodie and my dr increased my prozac another 5 mg. I'm up now to 25 mg.
it's helping me with my anxiety.
I get too hyped up about things and am constantly agitated.
is menopause going to cause me to get worst?
it sounds by what happened to you that you and I have similar chemistry and I can't afford to get worst.
I told my dr I'm not afraid to go on hrt. she said without the progestrone. just the estrogen. said the other two combined have caused breast cancer in patients.
it all depends if you keep the uterus or not. I'm not because I also was diagnosed with adenomyosis according to the last radiologist.
usually they can't make a diagnosis until the pathologist tests the uterus once removed.
for yrs. they've said my uterus looks boggy and some say it looks like I have small fibroids.
I'm tired of suffering painful BM/s when I'm ovulating and the cysts are like balloons, and It hurst to urinate just to push the urine flow out, to have sex at that time is unimaginable, but I force myself to do it so my partner doesn't think I'm a drag.
I don't want to always be whining to him that I'm in pain and not feeling well.
so I've decided to have the surgery.
I had a bad pap once and they had to put a chemical on the cervix to destroy the outter layer because the gyn said if we left it, it would turn into cancer.
this is why this new gyno is taking out the cervix too.
only becaues I"ve had history of a few bad paps.
I keep telling my gyno my stomach gets swollen and I keep losing weight. i always thought I'd love to be thin but let me tellyou, people begin to stare. they think you're doing it yourself. like an anorexic.
I eat like a truck driver and still have an appetite. they've ck'd my thyroid, my adrenal glands, and nothing can be found.
so gyno says' she feels so sure it's realted to gastro and not reproductive.
I'm afraid that I have some type of hidden cancer inside that can only be found thru surgery and pathology.
why on earth would I have lost 75% of my body mass? I've lost 30 pounds total. the last radiologist said that I have lost a tremedous amount of intra abdominal and other type of fat and tissue comared to last ct scan.
we don't know why.
an endocronologist said I have lost muscle. I'm wasting.
we've done mental evaluation too with a well known psychiatrist and I go for weekly therapy to work on my issues of anger.
my psychiatrist wrote a letter for me to give to any doctor who feels it's related to depression or pshycological. I don't have either according to the doctor. she's worried that something is going on medically and is following up with me to see if they find anything.
at one time I was so nausues after eating certain foods, and I'd get full very quickly. I could only eat alittle at a time and my brother and sister said I had to eat more in order to gain. I couldn't.
I even took enzymes thinking that my pancreas wasn't producing enzymes.
but after the special mri of the abdomen, they said no sign of pancreatitis.

so I think it's related to gynocological.
wouldn't you?
I'm so afraid to make such a quick decison on having this hysterectomy.
I'm afraid my boss won't let me have my job back after the six to eight weeks of healing time.
why does it take so long to heal up?
can I go back to work earlier?
she warned me that I could get clots in my legs if I continue to smoke and that the clots might break off and go to my heart which causes a stroke.
I wanted to quit smoking anyway. I just had a hard time doing it.
now I have a reason besides it causing cancer. how foolish I am.

she said that the chance of cutting into the bladder or hitting the bowles has to be considered. she scared the heck out of me. as if she wanted to talk me out of the surgery.
yet she said most of her patients after having the hysterectomy said why on earth didn't they do it sooner?
I'm afraid of the mood changes. I'm afraid of getting bigger jowls, you know, when a woman hits menopause they get heavier in the face and stomach area? their hair turns drier, which mine already is and it's thinner too, my skin is already dried up and looks differnet on my arms and stomach since I lost all this weight.
I don't feel comfortable for some reason getting this surgery, yet by the end of the day or night, I don't feel so bad about the decision.
I'm scared for some reason.
will I look older within a matter of months by not having our natural estrogen?
or is it just old age that I see on woman who are in menopause.
she also said I"d have to be diligent with breast exams and annual *****'s and to get bone density tests since I'll be losing bone.
just great.
doesn't sound like such a good thing. she even called it a form of castrasion.
(spelling?)
I only have one ovary and tube left anyway and it's probably not working properly due to the cysts and that's why I probably feel liek I'm losing my mind at times.
the left ovary and tube were matted to my bowels, and were destroyed. the tube had paratubla cysts in it. the ovary was turning to necrosis.
so he had no choice than to remove it.
this is my long history of what I've been going thru all these yrs and months.
do you all think I'd be better off getting the hysterectomy from your experiences?
or should I just continue suffering every month till I reach menopause which isn't too far away anyway?

sorry for the length of this post. but I needed someone to talk to and I hope I get a reply.

thank you so much for your help ladies.

sincerely,
Linda S.