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Old 12-10-2009, 09:34 PM   #1
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Angel B HB User
Unhappy hysterectomy/depression

i'm 34 yrs old & had a hysterectomy due to endometriosis. i've never had children & so desperately wanted them. i just recently was hospitalized because of, i guess u could say, a nervous break down! i've been severely depressed & was diagnosed with bipolar II. i was suicidal & self-mutilating! has anyone else had this problem? i'm seeking someone who has been in my position to talk to. thanks for listening!

 
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Old 01-24-2010, 12:11 PM   #2
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anaq HB User
Re: hysterectomy/depression

Hi Angel! I am 33 & soon after I married (at 28) & began my career as a Mental Health Counselor, I was hospitalized for the 1st time. The 2nd time was after my 1st child & the 3rd time was shortly after that. Since that last time, I realized that my hormones played a major role in my depression, anxiety, headaches, etc. It has been 3 yrs. since any hospitalization and a 2nd baby later (she just turned 1). Approx. 4 months ago, I had a partial hysterectomy b/c of the pain & b/c of my inability to take birth control b/c it meses with my hormones & contributes to my depression. I'm not exactly sure what your question is but I would be more than happy to talk to you b/c we probably have a lot in common. Hope to hear from you.

 
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Old 02-01-2010, 11:16 PM   #3
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Terry45 HB User
Re: hysterectomy/depression

Quote:
Originally Posted by Angel B View Post
i'm 34 yrs old & had a hysterectomy due to endometriosis. i've never had children & so desperately wanted them. i just recently was hospitalized because of, i guess u could say, a nervous break down! i've been severely depressed & was diagnosed with bipolar II. i was suicidal & self-mutilating! has anyone else had this problem? i'm seeking someone who has been in my position to talk to. thanks for listening!
I am sorry to hear of your struggles. As a child surrounded by similar symptoms my mother was alot like you. I am a 45 yr old and am sceduled for a hysterectomy in 2 days. I have had endometriosis since I was 21. Never conceived after 13 years married and 11 years of infertility treatments. I have felt your pain of not having children. Five failed adoptions and adopted 2 boys it was a hard road. They are middle schoolers now and a blessing. Giving birth/having children is not what defines us as woman. You are a young woman deserving of a good life. My mother took her life at 39 and that was 28 years ago. My heart still aches for what I have missed with her. I don't blame her as she had similar problems but remember one thing when you are dead your dead. No coming back. Someone in your life loves you if not family, God does. You are his creation. Even if you are not religous, seriously pray to God about your pain. Ask him for strength and what you want in life. I did and he had his way in teaching me to turn it over to him. We almost lost our 1st son to the courts but without the grace of God and putting it his hands we would have lost him. Please love yourself and protect yourself. I thought I had uterine cancer just 2 weeks ago. My want to live was so real I can's even tell you in words. I was 17, after going through the ordeal when mom died I could not ever do that to the ones I love. Talk to your doctor about getting you regulated. I hope this has helped and you get the right help you need. Find a support group. I will pray for you Angel that God's angels with surround you with their love. I am not a church going person even though my dad was a pastor. However, I do know the power of God. He has shown me many times over. Go to him in prayer. Bless you Angel

 
Old 06-29-2010, 09:49 PM   #4
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piro HB User
Re: hysterectomy/depression

Hello angel b....i had hysterectomy six months after i got married and had no children. You are not alone. I am extremelly depressed and with psiquiatric treatmet since than. I wish many times to die and not feel this horrible pain and have felt very lonly in this process.

I hope we both can keep in touch and share our feelings and know that women all over the world are suffering this incredible blessing of being a mother.

People try to give us hope, encouragement, and soluions, but only the ones that are walking on our shoes will know what it truelly is to not be a mother and knowing that there is absolutelly nothing to do about it.

My prayers are with you. I was diagnosed with severe depression, i go through all the stages of grieve and there are days that i just don[t want to go out of bed and close my eyes forever.

I feel terrible for not had being able to give my husband his dream baby. It is very hard angel b.

I send you a hug through the distance and know that you are not alone.

Piro

 
Old 06-30-2010, 01:47 PM   #5
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Charlyp HB User
Re: hysterectomy/depression

Hi, I am in the same position as you. I was told yesterday that having a BSO op will help with my Endo. I was self harming last year as I also have MS and did not see the point.

I think I am in shock but so want to get rid of the pain. I should be having op within the next 6 weeks and am so scared.

Take care hon
xx

 
Old 07-12-2010, 07:09 AM   #6
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Terry45 HB User
Re: hysterectomy/depression

I have felt your pain and it is so much to bear. One day I got on my knees and begged God to take the pain away. That if it was not his will for me to have a child to take the desire from my heart that I could not bear the pain in my heart. Years of endometriosis and 11 years of infertility treatments I was physically and mentally worn. One month later our first birthmother came into our lives. Not by agency but by word of mouth. I had a friend who had two adopted children and said if you want to adopt tell everyone you know. It was the 3rd birthmother that came through for us and our son is now almost 15. He came from birth. Our 2nd son was 8 months. We have had 6 adoptions and 2 children that the birthmothers came through for us. It was a roller coaster but worth every minute. Hang in there you are not alone. I had a hysterectomy in Feb and 5 weeks postop was rushed to ER and cut 7 inches vertically to go in and dislodge inhesions straggling my intestines. I survived thank God. Take care.

 
Old 07-29-2010, 07:00 PM   #7
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cyndytinny1 HB User
Re: hysterectomy/depression

I can definately understand how you are feeling. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now. I really hate that now i find someone I want to be with and finally decide to have a child and that decision has been taken from me. I will be having a complete hysterectomy in two weeks. This will be my 3rd surgery this year to remove large masses on my ovaries and fallopian tubes. My boyfriend has 3 children by two different women. It kills me that he has children with women that he hates. We finally find each other and we cannot even watch a our conjoined versions of ourselves. I cry all the time and have already talked with my doctor about being scared that my depression is goin to get worse. I can't tell my family how im feeling cuz i dont want to worry them.

I definately understand the pain you are goin thru. I also fear that my boyfriend will want to leave me because I cannot give him a child. He reassures me constantly that it doesnt matter to him but i know it does.

please feel free to contact me so we can chat whenever.

thanks

 
Old 08-02-2010, 01:16 PM   #8
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piro HB User
Re: hysterectomy/depression

Dear cindytiny1,

My dear friend our stories match so much and I know you are in your recovery stage. Sorry for the delay of this note. please let me know how your surgery went and please take care of you. Depression is normal before,during and after hysterectomy, I talked to my doctor since I tried like you for years with three surgeries to keep my uterus and when everything was perfect for the baby and person came alone, everything colapsed.

We have a wound physical, emotional and pyscologial and all need to be treated and all are important. I think physical takes months, but emotionally and pysocologically is been for me three years and there are days that are not good there are moments that i still wish it not true.

Cindytiny the process of grief suppost to different stages denial, anger, depression and acceptance. It is important to welcome each one of them and share it with a person that you know can understand you. My husband was away in a contract for 7 months and he supported me alot by email, it was very hard for both of us, and he has been extremelly patient and supportive.

We are not the same women as before after loosing this unique opportunity. I am here to share your tears and pain. please keep in touch.

Remember dear friend, people will come with "pills to easy your pain"... many people are not in your shoes and they will give you so many advice that will be painful to you, example, "you can always adopt", "there are so many children out there that need a mom" and more...no advice of this helped me I would say it even hurt me. There is no compare that one can live all the process of pregnancy of one´s child and specially when it is gift of two people that love each other.

You are not alone.

Send you a big hug and my prayers are with you

Take care...piro

Last edited by moderator2; 08-02-2010 at 03:45 PM. Reason: please do not post your email address

 
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