Incontinence issues - Incontinence Message Board

angel_bear · 09-06-2005, 05:14 PM

No .. it's not me .. although lately .. when I cough hard ... hmmmmm

But anyway

This morning, MIL goes off to DayCare. After being 'alerted' a couple of times this morning, and listening to her get cross with Cameron [B](I KNOW blather blather bling, I am, am am and so so so!)[/B] the bus turned up, the man stood at the door, and she jumped 6 feet when she saw him! LOL . . . she was no way ready .. but she simply won't believe anything we say (and/or doesn't comprehend anything we say) because she's fine, thankyou very much, it's the rest of the world that's gone mad.

So .. off she goes, happy, smiling, she really looked like a little kid going on a school excursion ... it was SO cute watching her!!

And then, I checked downstairs, because the smell of urine is permeating UPSTAIRS now .........

I went into the loungeroom, and the last week or so she's decided to move chairs (the first one, the carpet at her feet is BLACK with God Knows What and wine) so she's moved to a cleaner part of the room (remember the furniture shuffling last week? I got a lounge chair next to the TV. NEXT to, she can't for the life of her watch it properly) so this morning I find these puddles of red wine trailing from the coffee table over near the black carpet to her new spot.

Good thing the carpet cleaning man DIDN'T turn up last week eh?

So then I cleaned out the kitchen .. again .. and found, no, she hadn't taken her tablets, even when reminded .. and she won't take 'em if you hover as well (because even tablet taking is a drawn out confusing routine for her now)

And then ........ I went into the bedroom.

YUCK

Urine ... all over the carpet between her bed and the wardrobe. The carpet is SOGGY. The smell is overpowering. The sheet's soaked, the bed dry (I'm impressed) I tore the sheets off and put them in the wash, and remade the bed with a plastic backed tablecloth as a protection underneath her, clean sheets, dry blankets .. towel over the spillage (!!)

Ok girls, now here's the thing. How can I get her to wear a pull-up, pad or whatever other choices there are out there.

This house REALLY PONGS!! I've opened windows and doors, there's a gale force wind blowing through the house downstairs, and I'm off to the nursing home shortly, but I can't approach the lady and say "wear these" cause a) it's me saying it, b) she'll hit me c) she may not even comprehend what they are d) she'll refuse

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww .. standing in pee making a bed is HORRIBLE.

I have to have a shower .. I smell all uriney now .. ick .. gimme a job with gloves and shoes and it'll be easier I hope ....

Hugs and looking forward to some lateral thinking on incontinence pads

Sally

Martha H · 09-06-2005, 06:58 PM

She needs more than pads, she needs the incontinence underwear called "Depends" (name brand) but with many supermarket and drugstore chains having their own brands. It is generically called 'incontinence underwear'. They look like pull up underpants but have a thicker section in the center which is made of that wonderful absorbent material invented for Pampers years ago.

Young mothers of today can't imagine us changing our babies HOURLY or more because those gauze cloth diapers held next to nothing ..and early versions of Pampers were not a whole lot better ..that blue stuff in the center now absorbs, like , a day's supply of urine! Babies actually wake up with a pouch the size of a basketball hanging between their legs but the clothes and crib sheets are DRY..

But I digress. Yes, the adult pants are equally or more absorbent and also SMELL KILLING. Get a batch of them, put them in her drawer where she keeps underpanties, and throw out her urine soaked ones instead of washing them .. good luck. If it's that or naked bottoms, she may just out them on. "These are the new warm winter undies, Mom." I think that's what Barbara H told her Mom ..

Lots of luck!

(wishing it were that easy ..my Mom said yes, Ok, I'll use them ...but didn't!~)

Martha

WannaBeFreeToRoam · 09-06-2005, 10:04 PM

Hi Sally,

I bet that was a horrific job - cleaning up urine and smelling it. It must be pretty bad if you guys can smell it all the way upstairs. Do you think it is just at night that she is incontinent, or when she drinks or some combo. Maybe also, cause she cannot make it to the bathroom when she is sleeping. Probably all of the above!

I do not know if I will be of much help. Not too much experience as of yet. My dad does dribble a little. So when he goes somewhere nice or important, he wears a pad. Of course, my cheap mom does not buy the correct kind. The good ones are too expensive - and they are! When he does become more incontinent, I will make sure she buys some. May just take my dad shopping or buy them and then write myself a check for that amount.

I do like Marthas ideas. And that part that she quoted from Barbara H sounds good for in a few months! If need be, I guess you could replace all her panties with Depends (which is a really good brand!). But then again, she might be so unwilling to wear them, as to go naked! I sometimes buy my dad things and pretend they are a present. May not work for this?! I (or my sister & I) am/are going to buy him a really nice bracelet (medic) for Christmas.

If only you knew some other lady that wears them and does not mind saying so in front of your mother. She could see how well they fit and that it is allright to wear them. Or would MIL not really understand that or like it if you did that?!

I am sure you will get lots more help in the AM (our time). Good Luck!

Wannabe

chelseacat · 09-06-2005, 10:06 PM

If she refuses to wear "Depends" you may have to put a heavier waterproof plastic mattress cover on the bed. Keep a few extra sheets handy-and just wash as needed. Is it in the budget to have a cleaning service come in just once to get everything sanitized and oder removed?? Good expense for any of her other children.
Can you convince her (why am I even suggesting this??

) that the "briefs" or Depends are to keep her warmer at night? Make them into a fashion statement?? Most likely that won't work, but I thought I'd throw it out.
As far as I could tell, Mom wasn't incontinent before she went in the NH, but I notice she is wearing a "brief" now. She's so little that it shows beneath her clothing. I need another talk with the Nurse Supervisor and must bring that up.
It's so difficult to get our loved ones to comply with the simplest thing that we all would take for granted.

Also, my Mother was a heavy drinker all her adult life, and that didn't stop when she started with Dementia. I don't know where she got her liquor, and I pleaded with her neighbor's not to give it to her or buy it for her. To no avail.
"A little Toddy at night will help her sleep" No, it exacerbated the problem
to no end. Getting your MIL to give up her wine might make a huge improvement, but I've been there and it just doesn't work.
Can we have a group "arrrrrgggggggggg!"

)

My heart goes out to you, Sally. Is there anyway she can go to a nursing home? I know it's a drastic decision, but at least at a home a team will be available to care for her. It sounds like you are doing all of her care by your self. That's too much for one person.
You may have to go on strike!!
Take care, and rest when you can.
Linda In CA

angel_bear · 09-07-2005, 12:26 AM

Here's a new interesting concept.

Came home this afternoon after a fun few hours at the nice nursing home and a nice few hours having a cup of tea with my girlfriend .. to find ........

MIL missing!!!!!!!

No messages from the Police, so it will be interesting.

I do know she's home from Day Care, because she usually get's home anywhere from 2.15 onwards. The tablets she didn't take this morning are now OUT of the webster pack and one is missing, the others are still there. The windows I left open have been closed and there's a $2 coin on the coffee table that wasn't there this morning.

So .. she's either taken off to buy some wine or if she noticed her car missing, is down at the Police Station reporting it stolen, (I've been using it today) not that she can have any kind of meaningful words with the Police .. and nor can she say CAR, or Missing, or stolen .. she could probably say "It's gone!! blather blather bling"

So I'm sure I'll find out sooner or later.

*sigh*

So depends are pullups? I thought they were pads .. ok .. I'll get some and put them in her undie drawer and hope for the best ... She won't use pads, I know that much, so the undie-switch is more likely a possiblity.

Outta here .. hugs to all and thanks for your support

OH and Linda .. no .. she can't go into a nursing home because my STUBBORN, DEAF DUMB AND BLIND BIL doesn't believe any of my reports and won't believe anything any professionals tell him. That's sorta it in a nutshell. We've had 3 geriatric specialists tell us the same thing, she's got aphasia, she's got dementia. BIL keeps telling them they're idiots and what would they know and demands another opinion. I figure after 3 opinions, he's just being silly now. Tiring and exhausting and MIL is definately NOT safe.

Gotta go .. thanks all

Sally