Re: Incontinence - help please
My mother had the same symptoms, and it was a great struggle for me. She refused to accept that she needed any help. Sometimes she stank. This was when we were still living together. If I tried to gently nudge her to the shower, she maintained that she had 'just showered". She began to hide soiled underpants in a bedroom drawer. She still flatly refused to wear the Depends I had bought.
It was never adequately solved until she had to go to the NH after breaking her hip. There she was put in Depends and no questions asked. She never regained continence. It is part of Alzheimer's. One loses control over that function.
I feel sorry for you. This was one of the things that drove me up walls. My mother had been VERY clean .. spotless house, perfectly matched and flawlessly clean cothing .. then she was sitting around in smelly undies, unmatched clothing, stained blouses .. and every time it was a battle because she refused to accept my help, or even that anything needed to be done.
You really may want to start thinking about some kind of faciity for your Mom.