9yr old Incontinence Problems
Hi, My son (9yr old) has had Incontinence problems since birth. He had an Epispadias repair but then they realised that there was no muscle on the neck of his bladder. He then got a procedure called the "Kelly Procedure" to attach an muscle onto he bladder so he wasn't constantly leaking. It was successful to a certain degree but his bladder is desensitised (so doesn't know he needs until virtually the last second ), if he is running/exercising he leaks and if he is concentrating hard he doesn't know that he as wet himself etc. He also has no night time continence so he is in nappies at night too.
Now to the problem,
To avoid any accidents he is to empty his bladder as much as he can so he doesn't wet himself. Now at home this isn't as much as a problem as its just us and if does have an accident its no big deal. The problem is that at school he should go at least 4 times to avoid any problems but he is choosing not to go to the toilet and some days he hasn't been to a toilet since 8am and gets picked up about 3pm. He has incontinence pants on and has a vibrating watch to remind him but he is choosing to ignore the watch and therefore his incontinence pants are wet and starts to smell etc. We just can't get him to go to the toilet and no matter what we do it goes down the route of he tries for a few days (if that) then starts to lie about it all and goes back to us trying to encourage him to go and telling him why again.
I have offered all kinds of rewards and also put consequences if he doesn't go especially if he lies about it all but nothing works. His new teacher is sending him when he remembers which is great but we want our son to take on the responsibility so he goes the core times himself and anything else is extra.
I just don't know what else to do as he obviously is upset about kids making fun of him but is not willing to change his ways and make an effort. He wants everyone to do it for him and won't take on the responsibility and its getting to the point that this is now the 5th school year of this and its now getting to us as we only want to help but we are doing everything we can.
If anyone has any kind of experiences or ideas on how to get him to go for himeself I am open to anything as I have exhausted all our ideas and friends and family's ideas.
Thanks for taking the time to read!